Yes it's true. There was a time when I really wanted children. What happened? I found I could travel and see different places with the fruits of my labor.
There was a time when I made plans to have 5 or 6. Later 3 or 4. But during this time I also planned on getting married soon after college, and on having children two years later.
The saying goes that if you want to make God laugh, make plans.
The plan to marry after college did not happen, because I had no boyfriend. Understanding why that happened is not something I should concern myself with. Not anymore.
I met the man who would become my husband right after the date I had planned for the children.
Do you know what happens to plans of life that go unfulfilled? Life must leave them behind. For we, human beings, are versatile and know that keeping on living and making lemonade with our lemons is more important than chasing thwarted sweets and plans.
So I made my lemonade. And in the meantime learned that the hard work and the savings that I believed to be the way to secure the future of my unborn children, could be invested in me. I learned that with my hard work, with the sweat of my brow, I could see new places, places seen on TV, or just dreams. I found out that there was a world out there that I would have never know, nor have I bothered to learn about, had the children come according to my plans.
Gee! Boy! Did I like that lemonade. I liked that lemonade more the sweets I had planned in life.
When the lemonade is too good, the sweets lose their throne. They gains status of "perhaps", "if there's time" ... Sweets is a thing thing for spoiled children. Lemonade is for grownups, decided people who came, saw and conquered.
My lemonade was achieved with hard work. I have no intention of leaving it behind. Not now. Not yet.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Stories and memories live in our memory. When there's no one to remember them, they just die. And it is as if they have never existed. On my last vacation trip, I cried a lot. I cried when visiting cemeteries in search of my husband's ancestors. I cried to see all kinds of tombstones - old, young, children, infants... I cried to think how many lives that were lived and shared are now lost in a hyphen. That hyphen that comes between the birth date and the death date. So much was done during that hyphen. And now who cares about it? So many of those tombstones were swallowed by the tall grass and the moss. No one even knows they are there, neither do they know who was laid there. I cried when I realized that this is the fate of us all: a tombstone. Abandoned. Without anyone to imagine what went on during that infamous hyphen. A life. A life in which we've rejoiced and wept. A life that was so intense while it existed, and now it's forever gone. The Bible makes it clear that we came to this world with nothing and take nothing from it. So what counts? What counts is what we leave behind. Because if not we leave nothing to no one, all that's left of our existence is that hyphen. I want all of my family to know that the tombstone that lies in a cemetery in Feira de Santana brings much more than just a hyphen. The lady whose name is written there did much during her life and touched many. That lady is my Great Grandmother, my Bisa. I don't want anyone to ever forget her. That is why I wrote a book about her life to pass it down to our family.
I was thinking about the whole idea of tithing and how to teach children to tith. The idea of practicing tithing is one reason why I am inclined to think children should receive some sort of an allowance. I say I am inclined to think that, because, I usually say that children should not be paid for housework, because, after all, it is their house, and they have the same responsibility to keep it as everyone in the house. But don't housewives often get paid an allowance from their husbands? And don't we say that taking care of the house is a full time job? Why can't the other members of the family get their allowances for doing the same job as well? I am thinking that children should have a way of having their own money, money they've worked for, so that they can learn how to administer it.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Well, yes, way! Dean and I are not eating any carbs for the whole month of January. Do I think it is a healthy diet? Absolutely not! It's amazing the number of things that you must consume in a healthy diet that are high on carbs, and if you are in a low carb diet, they are definitely no-nos. It really is not a diet you want to be on as a regular life style it is an emergency diet for dire needs of losing weight. It worked once when I had to fit in this specific dress to go to a certain wedding. And if it worked once it will work twice, right? Well, that's what we will see... I hope we drop a few pounds, and from then on all we have to do is keep it. How do you keep this idiotic diet? it's the hardest thing to do. As soon as someone tells you that you can not have something, don't you crave it like hell? I don't know how we are keeping it, but it has been 9 days... 22 to go. Actually, I guess I know how we are keeping it... I am cooking yummy stuff. Modesty aside, I am a pretty good cook. I am not very good at baking... so if you ask me to make cookies or cakes, I will tell you to go find something better to do other than make my life miserable... But I cook yummy meals, and the more I learn from recipes, the more I can just make up on my on. I like to boil vegetables on olive oil, starting with fresh crushed garlic and sliced onions. So I am adding a lot of low carb veggies such as broccoli, celery, cauli flower, peppers and spinach... Cheese and milk based sauces are also a must... Dean and I LOVE cheese with all capital letters! So cheese is a big one. Then eggs. And then of course your carb free protein, which is meat... meat, meat, meat... This will kill my vegetarian friends, so... sorry, guys, but I am a meat eater and I loh-vit! These days with no carbs have actually given me ideas on how to follow a healthy meat calendar. I decided I will follow a seven-day pattern: fish, pork, shell fish, ground meat, poultry, beef, sausage. I will follow this calendar even after we set ourselves free from this absurdly retarded diet. Yes, I used the word retarded even though I teach in the public school system... Go ahead! Crucify me! It sounds like it has been working except for the fact that I crave crackers and chips and toast and... oh, dear, oh dear, Chocolate!!!!! If I understand correctly, the way this thing work is kind of like this: your body majorly uses the carbs you consume every day to keep things going on a regular basis. The carbs that don't get used get stored... that's how we gain weight. They get stored for hard times in which your body might not have any sort of abundance of food. When you deprive yourself from carbs, your body goes like, "geez louise! time to get some from the storage!" then it starts using up the carbs that it had stored for later emergencial times. That's how come you lose weight. Your body literally thinks it must work in emergency mode. Well, this is just what I learned... If you want a specialist's opinion go ask a doctor or a nutritionist... Don't take my word for it. And by the day, if you follow my diet and you get sick or die... that's totally your problem. HUAHUAHAUHUA! As I said before, you want a specialist, don't read my blog, go talk to a person who went to school for it. Now, when February comes, We will break our diet slowly. Otherwise we ruin everything! For instance, right after I was able to fit in that dress, I gained twice as much, because I basically ate all the pasta I hadn't eaten all that time to the square power. So we will ease ourselves back into carb life... or real life if you will. Freedom, I say. Freedom.