I lost a friend yesterday.
So I've spent the past two years of my life believing in something that doesn't exist. Or if it ever existed,I've killed it.
I believed in a friendship that wasn't real. It was all in mind. Now I understand what people mean when they said they confused their feelings with the truth. It hurts.
Someone died yesterday in my life. Not a real person. Someone I made up in my mind. The real person is still alive and I wish him well with all my heart. It's not his fault I made up a character with his name.
I believed in Casper the friendly ghost. I befriended him, I took the things he said to heart, and I dreamed up plans for my family to befriend his too. I lived by advice he gave me and wished to share what I've learned from such advice with him.
Now it's time to wake up from that dream, pick up the pieces, and move on. I can't afford the luxury to sit down and cry. I have two beautiful daughters to raise (whom he will never know) and a husband that counts on me (whom he will never befriend). These are the people I need to live for. No matter what's going on inside my mind.
June 17, 2017
July 20, 2017