Eighty years young and a tragic end

She was a young lady of eighty years. She had so many stories to tell ... if she could talk. But she did not speak. She did not know how. She told her story in her wrinkles and her size. The task of speaking was left to others. And one thing she did better than anyone - she was always there for all of us - calm, imponent, shady - as a mother looking after her children wisely. How many times we've ignore her. How many times have we thought she would always be there. Under sun and rain, wind and snow.
 
Until, one day, they came after her. It was a Tuesday. And when I left for work, she was still there.

And on that day they came. Mercilessly, they toppled her. She said nothing. She did not ask for help. She could not. She did not know how. She was silent ... until her death.
 
When I came home that day, I saw her no more. She was gone. Gone was her trunk, her branches, her leaves. Gone. Never to return. Only the stump still reminded us that she had existed. For eighty years she existed. And, unannounced, she left us. Without even giving me a chance to say goodbye.
 

Who was she? Eighty years ago, it was planted by our neighbor and his first-grade classmates in front of the school where they went. A tribute to their retiring principal. For eighty years this tribute grew and gave us all shadow and protection. ... Until the day that unscrupulous people came to destroy it. Without mercy. Without even the right to do so.

Underneath its roots, protecting a secret, a time capsule. A capsule we all still hope to find, and finally provide her this final honor - At least the dignity of having the secret entrusted to her, and held until death, rescued into the world.

To me, I can only say what I wasn't allowed to before: Goodbye.

Heights and coasters

Ok, so I am a wimp, ok! Yes, I am afraid of heights, darn it! I admit it!

Dean and I love to find new places to go for a walk and this other day we followed the train tracks to a bridge. 

He asked me to walk over the ridge with him. I said yes, of course! But, as soon as I looked down, I began hyperventilating. He was already halfway through to the other side, and here I was, looking down, petrified, hyperventilating.

He laughed at me.

Wait ... HE LAUGHED AT ME??? NO ONE LAUGHS AT VIKA!!! ... Well, except for her husband.

Now, wait a minute, you ask, how does a roller coaster fan is afraid of heights? Simple, very simple, my friend – Fear excites me as long as I know I can't get hurt. People don't plunge to their deaths while riding roller coasters. Except, of course, in the case of that girl at the Hopi Hari park, who was ejected from a defective seat of one of those shoot-up tower rides. But, think with me, if there is a chance of a ride seat being defective and killing,, how much greater are the chances that, while walking on abandoned train trail bridges, a quarter mile above a river, you will step on with missing parts and rotting wood and fall to your death!

You know when they say in the movies, “don't look down!” and someone does look down? And then they fall and die, don't they! Well, I will bet you a million dollars that would be me:

“Vika, don't look down!”

And, on my gravestone, one will read, “Her last word was 'What?'”

life soundtrack

Do you imagine your life with a sound track? Do you have a theme song? I can't imagine my life without music in the background. And for everything I do, there is a song playing in my mind in the back ground.

Does that sound weird? How could it be any different? If you grew up in the same time I did, and in the same situation I was, you'll understand it.

I have grown up in a time where lives of people, real ones and imagined ones, were told on TV every day, all the time, as series, shows, novelas, movies, music videos, commercials and anything else one could fit in that little blue light screen.

I have also grown up in a time where we could carry our music with us everywhere we go. In the car, in the purse, attached to our bodies.

Then every where I go there is music playing. The mall, the store, the restaurant, the school. Music is everywhere in the background.

How could I possibly view life in any other way but with a sound track?

Things I love about about people on TV

You know those times when you're sitting down watching your TV show or movie and then the people in the screen do something that you go like - that only freaking happens on TV!!! 

Yeah, TV people are funny. They do things that no one in real life does! I am not talking about time traveling or flying with a cape on, or jumping off a cliff on a motorcycle and make your way into a flying airplane. No, because, when you watch a fiction story, you sort of expect those things to happen. I am talking about daily things that they do that makes no sense whatsoever. Only on TV. I'm talking about things that look normal, but, well, aren't. 

Usually they have to do with sex, but not always. I'd say don't read this if you are underage, but hey, you've seen this on TV, so go ahead and read for fun... just don't try it at home ...

Here is a few examples:

Example #1 – A couple went to bed last night and they made love. Then they fell asleep. It's morning and they get up from bed - they have clothes on! Whoa! Did they master the art of having sex with underwear on or the art of changing back into exactly what they had on the night before under the covers without anyone noticing the commotion?

Example #2 – A couple wakes up in the morning and starts kissing passionately … without brushing their teeth!!! What is wrong with this picture? Well, unless I am the only weirdo who suffers from morning breath and does not wish to share with my husband, they either secretly sucked on breath savers right before they opened their eyes or they have a strange addition to nasty tasting kisses.

Example #3 – NOT A SEX ONE! When a person is being chased inside their house they run upstairs. Because the safest place to be when fleeing a maniac is cornered at the top of a tower.

Example #4 – Another one on waking up in the morning. Everyone wakes up perfectly made up, shaved and with their hair done. I want the number of their hair salon.

Example #5 - Nothing ever possibly goes wrong before wild sex. Nothing! The clothes come out like butter. Hair is always lose but it doesn't accidentally end up on partner's mouth. No one goes like... I haven't showered today yet.

If you think of more of this stuff, (again, it doesn't have to be about sex scenes...), send it over the comments. I would love to hear your TV insights.

See you next week!

Afraid

In these past days I've been following my little plants growing. My tomato and pepper flowered. And I thought, gee I'm not a total incompetent. Is it going to bear fruit soon?But at the same time, when I stop to think more deeply on the subject of planting and harvesting, I'm afraid.This week I went with my husband to Plymouth, the city started by the Pilgrims who fled religious persecution in England.They have a village called Plimoth Plantation, which recreates life in 1627. Each family has its home, each house with its garden. They planted and ate the fruit of their labor. There was no electric light, no telephone, no mall. But everyone had enough to eat, what to wear, and how to protect themselves from cold. They landed there in 1620, a desert land (because the local Indians had been decimated by disease), and in less than seven years had a self-sufficient life.And we? We depend on the fragile technology that surrounds us. What would we do if, suddenly, we had no electricity? We lost all ability to survive - the one our ancestors had mastered so well.Is our life more fragile today than it was back in 1620? We have cures for many diseases, better control of nature, but not by our own abilities - it's thanks to technology - technology based on electricity. If we lose our beloved electricity, what have we left? we are accustomed to a life of comfort, and forget that it could collapse any time. And if it crumbles, what have we left?And why go that far? Why go back to 1620?My grandmother certainly led a life far more self-sufficient than me. My grandmother certainly had more knowledge of how to survive than me. That was 70 years ago! How is it that in three generations all that knowledge that was passed on from parents to children has been lost? Knowledge of thousands of years ... lost - because the current technology made it unnecessary. But the current technology lives literally hanging by a thread. What if the thread breaks? How unprepared we are to survive! We do not know how to treat animals for own consumption, plant gardens for subsistence - in school I learned that whoever did that was the poor peasant. We, people of big city, practice the following subsistence culture - the supermarket. We don't even know how to make our own clothes! 
 I'm afraid - afraid that much valuable knowledge is lost forever. And one day we might need it.As I wish I could bring back the tradition of passing knowledge and traditions from parent to child.

Anguishing Start

My vacation this year began with a trip to the airport. A trip in a raining morning, after an anguishing weekend. So let's begin by the anguishing weekend.

JP and Aunt Léa were leaving Brazil on Friday night, arrive in Washington on Saturday morning and have an intense weekend in the American capital, filled with visits to museums and monuments. I had planned their itinerary along with JP, and Aunt Liana was there waiting for them. SHe was to be their host for that leg of the trip

But on Friday night I received a message from Aunt Léa saying that the conection São Paulo-Washington was going to be delayed due to an issue in the aircraft. They'd arrive in DC six hours late.

Darn. That's so annoying. It will be a rushed day.

Hours later, another message from my aunt. Flight canceled. They were being taken to a motel and would only leave in 24 hours.

Twenty-four hours? A whole day? Half the trip, gone? At this point, I, who had spent hours with JP on the phone planning each step they'd take in that trip felt frustrated! So much planning for everything to go wrong!

But, fine. They would have Sunday. JP was taking advantage of the time at the hotel to check out the itinerary and pick and choose some stuff.

The problem was that, at this point, I had no psychological conditions for anything. I was to spend Saturday doing housecleaning and making sure the house was ready to receive them. But, in the anguishing wait for news, I couldn't even finish my lunch. At this point, if I crossed paths with a United employee, I'd fill him up with punches.


Saturday afternoon, the bomb came. THe flight would only leave Sunday afternoon. This news, once and for all, buried the Washington trip. On Monday, at six in the morning they would be flying here, so they would have no time at all to see Washington. No museums, no monuments, nothing.

My frustration was so that at this point I didn't even need a United employee. One had only to be a moving being to be a potential victim of mine. The trip planned with so much love and care was canceled.

Noting my anguish, Dean tried, in vain, to solve the problem. He called United and tried to get them into a flight, any flight, from any airline, that came from there to here. No flights had room.


Sunday was lived in the anguishing expectation that this flight would indeed leave the ground, so that they wouldn't miss the flight here to my home. If that happened, then the plot would thicken. I didn't even go to church, in the expectation of receiving any news. God knows at what time I remembered my house was still to be cleaned.
Dean, who was being a true angel to me, helped with the cleaning with no complains. Miracle?No! He knew exactly what a nerve-wreck I was.

When I heard they had boarded the plane, two hours delayed, I rested. I rested an un-restful rest. A disappointed rest. That rest that every Brazilian rests after the loss of a world cup. This dream is over. See you next time. My comfort was knowing that the next part of the trip was coming. Our part. God willing, that would go ok. Let's go to bed. Monday is another day.


To be continued next Sunday...

Back from Vacation

Yes, I am back from vacation. Back to real life. Every time I come back from vacation it feels like I am waking up from a dream. The wonderful moments lived, fulfilling the year-long planning - now just eternal memories. Even the time at the awful waits at the airport and the dreadful flights feel like a dream.
This year was particularly special because for part of the vacation my little brother and my aunt were here in America.
Anyway, unfortunately I am back to real life. Vacations are the only thing that get me up in the morning and get me through a day of work. I keep in mind that each day of work helps me pay for a little bit more of my precious vacation. So now, now that I am back to real life, I am also back to planning and counting down for vacation 2013.


I owe my readers an apology. I have disappeared from the blogging scene for over a month now without offering a reason for it. But, I try not to announce on the internet that I will be away from home. And, unfortunately, when we travel, internet is spotty, and when you lead 20-hour vacation days, like we do on our vacations, very little time is left for blog-writing, editing and posting.

This is absolutely my no means an excuse for the lack of journaling. I should absolutely register each and every day of my vacations, considering how precious they are to me. I need to register such days. What I do, how I feel, what I eat... Even when I get back to the hotel only four hours before I must leave it again, I should take the time to write a reflection on that day.

I am vowing right now that, from this coming vacation on, this is what I will do. But as for now, I will register to the best of my abilities, each day of my vacation here.

Get ready. See you next Sunday!

I believe

I believe in the right of all people to position themselves against or in favor of polemic issues. I believe in the right we all have to try, using arguments, in a coherent and civilized way, to defend our positions and to try to convince others using those arguments. I believe no one has the right to humiliate another person for his or her personal convictions.

Unfortunately intolerance is a reality. And intolerance comes from all sides. It is very easy to call someone intolerant because she refuses to believe the validity of homosexual marriage. Even if this person uses democratic means in civilized and respectful ways to convince others of their point of view. A person who dares to express an opinion considered unpopular is now accused of intolerant - simply because this person expressed a personal belief.

On the other hand, the current society tries to convince us that certain groups are above good and evil. The gay community, for instance, is made up of tolerant and loving people, people who possess good taste and super human sweetness. It is as if being gay turned any regular person into a model citizen. If you think gays are tolerant simply for being gays, try to explain what happened when I tried to explain my personal belief to a person I considered a friend of many years. After making it clear that I respected his right  as a citizen to do whatever the law allowed him to, I explained that my religious convictions established certain parameters by which I guided myself to understand right and wrong. I explained that, among countless things (many of which I was also guilty of), homosexual behavior was considered wrong as well. I explained that such issue would never prevent me from being friends that had such behaviors.

This person, without my permission, took my name and my words, put them in public discussion on Facebook, called me a liar and ridiculed my convictions. Others liked it. So what have we here? Public humiliation and ridiculing are now valid - of course, as long as they come from a homosexual against a religious person who dares to express an pinion.

Now I ask - someone who ridicules a person in public, exhibiting a private conversation done in civility and respect, does that person deserve to be called a friend and nice person? A friend - that is what he will not be called anymore.

Intolerance - the attitude of which people who hold more conservative views are usually accused of - will countless times come from those who call themselves open-minded people. They believe they have the the right to their opinion. But only they do. Isn't that funny? If anyone has the right to not be bullied for being gay, don't others have the right not to be bullied for having a religion that believes that homosexuality is wrong? Does tolerance only favor one side?

In one instance I was accused by a teacher of being religiously intolerant. She didn't even care to hear my arguments. When I opened my mouth to to say there was a mistake on the exam, she immediately shut me off and told me to leave my religion intolerance outside. All I was trying to explain to her was that, on that exam question, which asked us to compare the text (a fictitious conversation between God and man at creation) to another literary work, the correct answer was the book of Genesis, not the New Testament. The teacher could have learned  on that day that if was the book of Genesis, not the New Testament that talks about the creation of the world. But she preferred to publicly shut the religious student before she could open her mind. Of course, because, obviously, anything that comes from the mouth of an evangelical is not worthy of respect. So why bother listening?

This is the world we live in.

The truth is everyone is intolerant to a larger or lesser degree. That is because we all have certain values about right and wrong and don't always know how to deal with those with different parameters. However, those self-entitled pro-tolerance tend to be the most intolerant of all. Some people like to humiliate others. These people can be everywhere. They can be religious, they can be gays, they can be of any freaking position they they want.

Being tolerant is knowing how to deal with the difference. Some of us learn that. Some learn to deal with the difference. Some learn that it is necessary to respect others as human beings, even though their values and world views are different. Some learn we don't have to agree, only respect others as citizens of democratic societies. In such societies, the right to disagree is not a privilege of special groups - that is why it is called a right, not a proivilege. Could it be that some day we will all understand that? Understand and live it?

Live as if you believed in the right of people to have different opinions and and be able to use arguments to support them. Live as if you believed in the right people have to completely disagree from you. Argumentation is a tool we all have for our use. It is a right of all who have opinions. But it requires mutual respect.

Live. Speaking is easy. Living is much harder. Live a life that shows the respect you demand from others.

a day after the other

There is nothing like a day after the other.. And a night in the middle. People say times heals everything.
Yes. Somehow, the new day is telling us that we have survived, and that there is a chance we will survive another day. We know that not everything is perfect. Sometimes it even feels like the world is falling over our heads. But, unlike fairy tales (where everything is so perfect all the time), life brings little surprises everyday in many different shapes. Blessings in disguise or blessings you can see. Live is never all good, but it is never all bad either. There's always tomorrow to remind you that life goes on. And that something good might just happen.

One day after the other, and someday that pain of the broken heart is gone – or it doesn't feel as important anymore. One day after the other and someday you learn that what people say is not as important as what you know and how you feel. One day after the other and, when you least expect, you'll be near the ones you really love. One day after the other and you realize you are still here. You can't even believe you have come this far without falling apart. And if you have come this far, you can probably go a little further. You realize that somehow you've found a way to cope with life's lemons, and sometimes you even came up with a yummy lemonade.

Nothing like a day after the other to show there is always hope. Nothing like a day after the other to show that while it 's true that nothing good lasts forever, no evil is eternal either.

Dual citizenship

Wednesday, 30th of May 2012, I will gain dual citizenship. That is, I have Brazilian citizenship - that I have not resigned, nor intend to - and will gain the American one.
Many people do not understand this matter properly. When I talk to people about the citizenship process, they stare at me and ask, "But were you not a citizen already?"
No, people. Yikes. Citizenship is a serious thing.
Let's get this straight.
When I entered this country, I came in with an exchange student visa - a J1. The J1 is a visa that entitles you to enter and leave the U.S. for a year, plus a year's bonus stay without the right to multiple entries. This provided that you maintain the status of exchange student.
At the end of my bonus year, Dean and I were already dating, and several people had suggested I did my graduate studies here. Having nothing to lose, I started the paperwork, returned to Brazil and got a student visa - an F1. The F1 gives you the right to enter and leave the U.S. for five years, provided that you maintain your student status.
At the end of the second yearas an F1, Dean and I were married. Now I was the wife of an American, and the U.S. thinks (with a mind of a donkey of the people that make the immigration laws) that a person married to an American citizen must have the intention to live in this country permanently. It does not occur to them that maybe, and just maybe, I just want to finish my degree and move with my new husband, back to my home country. No. Wives/husbands of Americans obviously have to give up their original visas (ie, temporary stay) immediately and apply for permanent residence - the famous Green Card. What do I call that? Presumption, if you want to know my opinion. They presume that if you marry an American, you obviously want to live nowhere else other than America. Who are you, I ask, to think for me?
There are scores of ways for a person to get a Green Card. Marriage to a citizen is the fastest of them. But, in short, anyone who has a legitimate reason to establish residency in the U.S. can enter the Green Card application. We must have good background, and never have attacked the U.S. government. It also requires that the greencard-holder be residing in the U.S. for six months plus a day every year. Right! This is a residence permit. If you do not reside, why do you need the document? But to speaking English and knowing history are unnecessary things to obtain a green card.
A person who has obtained a green card in the U.S. can live their whole lives here without being bothered. For, as the official name says, a green card gives its holder permanent residence.
A U.S. resident, has all the rights stated in the Bill of rights. Freedom of expression, of worship, of assembly, to bear arms, to make petitions to the government, having a fair trial, among others.
To recap - anyone with legitimate reasons to establish residency in the U.S. can apply for the Green Card. And you can spend your whole life here with a Green Card.
GREEN CARD is NOT CITIZENSHIP !! It is not the same. Understand this, guys. Citizenship is a serious thing. Can you imagine if the government went around giving out citizenship to everyone that sets foot on the country? That means now you are also offering these people diplomatic protection and the right to influence in the political life of your country. A bunch of foreign nationals, telling nationals what to do witrh their country. 
Let me explain. Citizens have certain rights and duties that residents simply do not have. For example, citizens can vote and be voted. Citizens must serve in public jury when called. To become a citizen, he must prove that he can speak the language of the country and has a basic knowledge of American history. To gain citizenship, you also have to have some years with a Green Card.
After a few years with a Green Card, you can reach citizenship. Obviously, you do not need it. But you can. Citizenship gives you many privileges, and I do not have to renounce my citizenship natural, I have not seen reason to wait. Green Card has the expiration date and must be renewed every 10 years. Citizenship is forever. With citizenship I have the right to participate politically, but not with a green card. The Green Card can be revoked at any time by the government. Citizenship may not.
So yeah. It was the best way. That is why on Wednesday I become U.S. citizen.

Theology from an lay girl

I really like theology. Even though I am far from being a theologian, it have fun learning and discussing biblical doctrine. I like organizing and improving my thinking, especially concerning things related to God.
But, sometimes, when I am at church, and the pastor is preaching his sermon, my mind wonders to ideas that are not very theological, but are just based on biblical facts.

So, here it goes, theology of a lay girl:

A couple of Sundays ago, we started studying the book of Daniel. And we soon read the account in which Daniel and his friends make a point of not contaminating themselves with the king's food. They decide to adhere to a diet of vegetables and water. Daniel and his friends didn't know it then, but, by choosing not to eat from the king of Babylonia's table, they adhered to a vegetarian diet, which was healthy enough for them. So if you want to argue against vegetarian diets, take it up with Daniel.

I am not saying I agree when vegetarians say they don't eat meat because the poor animals had to be killed. When we eat salads the poor tomatoes and lettuces had to be cut off of its life source - so lives end so that others may continue, just the same. And, hey, animals farts are not, by any respectable scientist's standards, increasing the hole in the ozone layer or contributing to green house effects.

But, most vegetables and fruits have negative calories in them, besides vitamins and minerals. So you're eating nutrients and not getting fat. How about that!

On another Sunday we were studying the book of Samuel. Back in the beginning of Samuel's story, we find Hannah, his mother. Hannah was a tormented wife because she could not have children. God eventually hear her desperate prayers and granted her Samuel.
That shows how great and loving God is. But here's what I don't understand - Hannah was so upset about not having children! I don't think I'd be that worried if I found out I couldn't have any. But then again, this was 4k years ago. I mean, what else was there for a couple to do, after a year or two of marriage, than to raise children? Life must have gotten pretty boring after a little while without children.
I mean, how much entertainment was available? How many plans for the future could they do that would be made harder or impossible by having children? Were children ever part of an either/or choice (you know, either children or that other thing that makes my life so meaningful)?
I love it though, that even when Hannah's heart was breaking, she didn't prevent herself from worshiping God. Stop going to worship is the worst thing anyone can do. Don't give up on worship when you're overwhelmed. It would be like saying, I am too tired all the time, I don't even feel like eating, so I should stop eating. Well, you'll just make yourself worse. The thing is - life will go on, with or without you. So it is up to you to choose to continue or not. Do the next thing - keep your life going. Don't collapse.God is there - He is the one who holds you up.

Life Deals

I skipped a week in my blog posting, but not because of lack of reasons to write. It was lack of time. Last weekend was jam packed. Last weekend's laundry didn't get put away until this morning and this weekend's laundry is done but still sitting in bed.

I don't like when life suddenly gets so busy that it feels like I even breathing takes too much time out of my day.

However exciting things happened. For instance, I got my citizenship appointment and I got a publishing contract with a fairly big publisher for my Little Girl From Yesterday book.

But there's something else I have in mind for tonight.

Let's talk about money issues.

Money is never a problem. Money is always the solution. The only problem with money is that money is hard to earn and easy to spend. It's the opposite of weight – which is easy to earn and hard as heck to lose. It makes me think of that Roberto Carlos song, “Can it be that every thing I like is either illegal, immoral or makes you fat?”But let's get back to talking about money, something king Roberto Carlos has enough of. Let's talk about how to save money in little things!

Last weekend, even with all the rush, I purchased two pairs of Converse for only 21 dollars each! I got home and the first thing I did was throw away my old sneakers. I can't say they lasted well. I have older sneakers that are in better shape than those ones. But, hey, you never know when you'll get lucky with anything you buy! I had bought those from the Avon magazine for only $29 dollars. But, at least with converse I have a better chance.

The crazy thing, however, was how I got that great deal. I was trying on the women's size, which was a size 8 and it cost 35 dollars. So I looked at the Junior sizes and they looked an awful lot like the same size as the ones I had on. I grabbed a Junior 5. A tidy bit too small. So I grabbed a Junior 6. Perfect fit. Seriously! For 14 dollars less I got the same shoes! I am so glad I am tiny!

I gotta say I love my high heels, but on a daily basis and sometimes when I just want to look cute, or for outings to the park, sneakers are a must-have in any smart girl's wardrobe. Now I have 2 pairs for only 42 bucks.

Since we're talking about good buys, I should probably mention the reason I was so busy over Spring Break. I spent a good part of my spring break doing price research at Walmart and PriceRite (our two major grocery stores). I put all the prices of all the stuff we regularly buy in a spreadsheet and now it's on our phones. It makes it so much easier to price check. And, when we happen to go to a different store, all we have to do to check if we have found a deal is to check the phone.

Here's an example. I had it listed on my Walmart column that my hair color was $4,98. PriceRite doesn't sell it and I tried the dollar store once, but will never do it again. The color looked on my hair like water color. And it lasted less than a month. So I figured I would go back to my Revlon 11. In an emergency run to Big Y (can you imagine! BigY!), I found it for less than 4 dollars. I checked the phone file and grabbed it right away. Today, after making a trip to Pittsfield, we entered their Walmart and fond my Revlon 11 for less than $3!!! Heck, I am getting it right now!!! It is so much easier now that I have files to immediately compare prices!!!

By the way, this is the thing about dollar store items. They are only a dollar!!!! Buy them! Try them! The worst it can happen is that you'll realize you wasted... a dollar!!!! The best it can happen is you will have found an amazing way to sabe money! But be careful with dollar products. Sometimes they cost less but they come in smaller amounts as well, so they end up being more expensive then at your regular grocery store. For instance – popping corn at Dollar Tree costs more per pound than Walmart brand popping corn. And just a little bit less than a brand name popping corn at Walmart.

Tired of Facebook Manipulation

A couple of weeks ago I took a decision concerning Facebook. I have decided that I won't re-post any posts that use strategies of emotional blackmail in order to be reposted. I do love looking at pictures and messages that my friends post on Facebook. And I like to share them as a see fit.

However, requests of highly manipulative content, such as, “if you have a heart,” “if you love God,” “if this post had been about sex you'd have shared it, but...”, will be automatically eliminated from my decision-making process of “to share or not share – that is the question”.

Yes, I have a heart, and yes, I love God, and, boy oh boy, do I like sex! But I don't want to be coerced or guilted into sharing anything. I share pictures or messages when I believe them to be of some value and when I think it is worth the space on my page. I don't share all of them. Not everything I enjoy on Facebook has to go on my page, because I also have concerns about visual pollution and limiting my amount of contribution. So even wonderful messages might not be shared because I decided it was time to stop the postings for that day.

My major concern is not whether or not my criteria is fair. My point is – it is I who gets to decide what I share, based on my own criteria and not on cheap manipulation techniques that imply that I might not have a heart, love God, or that I might have some weird addiction sexual content.

I am standing up to say "NO" to Facebook emotional blackmail. So if you are one of those who posts messages that contain such techniques, I just want to let you know that I won't share them and let you know why. Will I make a huge difference in the world of Facebook? Who knows, and who freaking cares? I'm only one among many. Will my attitude be enough to stop Facebook manipulation? Who knows and who freaking cares? But I am doing what I think is right. If were you, I'd do the same. But I am not you, and your standard might be completely different than mine. Maybe you really don't give a dime about it and I will not say you're evil for doing that, but I will say I think that is a bad idea.

Share this link on you Facebook, if you agree with me. Or don't! The choice is yours!

Kitty dreams

Someday I will do something to that cat. Someday, when Dean's feelings are less important than my mental health (and, believe me, that day will come), I will do something to that cat. 

Oops! Off the window she goes! ... ... Gee... Did I just do that? 

"Sorry, baby! I accidentally opened the screen and my hands accidentally pushed the cat towards it."

Someday, when I'm on the verge of losing any trace of sanity, at the height of my PMS, with two children playing tag around my legs and tattling, something really bad will happen to Kitty.

"Mommy, why are you pouring gasoline on the cat?" a tiny voice will inquire.

 

"That's what happens to little spoiled brats who don't listen to Mommy! Who's next?"

Obedient and traumatized children will follow for the rest of my life! It will all be worth it!

Blood cleansing

In Brazil we say, or at least we used to say, that we wanted the children to marry well in order to cleanse the blood.

Cleanse the blood!!! Believe it or not! Cleansing the blood meant marrying someone with lighter skin instead of someone with darker skin. The point was to rinse the non-whiteness out of the bloodline - to whiten the family! Good Golly! As if that were a good thing!!!! Cleansing the blood!!!

Yeah... cleansing the blood. Thanks to this cleansing I lost the good Indian traits of my grandma's side of the family. I was a little lucky to have been born with the baby face gene. But the never-aging skin? Oh, no, this one I didn't get. I got the regular aging white people's skin. It will be nice and wrinkly when I get old. And , oh, my poor unborn children!!! Guess what I did to them!!! I married a guy whiter than me! I'm cleansing the blood alright! My husband is so white himself that he doesn't even consider me white! Are you for real? My poor children will have a cleaner blood than me! Do you know what that means? Read on...

Thanks to this blood-cleansing fashion I lost the ability to keep my hair dark. My great-grandma had them nice and dark all the way to age 86 when she died. Yup! Great-grandma Joaninha, age 86, had a handful of white hair - you could count on your fingers! As for myself, I've had to hide undesirables since age 17, making me burn my brain cells with hair dye!

Oh, yeah, let's cleanse the blood, gang! Thanks to this cleansing the blood thing, the good things from the non-white ethnicity were going, going, gone… the only thing that the dark part of my heritage left me was this black people stinkiness! You know, it's that stink that everyone who's ever had to catch a crowded bus, at noon, in Salvador-Bahia knows very well. Yup, that smelly stink! I know it's black people's stink, because most of us in Salvador are anywhere from 100 to 50% black. And if there is one thing that gets passed on with the genes, if there is one thing that the cleansing of the blood can't get rid of is the stink. So I could literally define this cleansing of the blood in two syllables – it stinks!

So much for cleansing the blood.

Like a little child

About 5 years ago I was an au pair for a family of baptist faith. Mom, Dad, and three adoptive children of 3, 4, and 5 years old.
The girl in the middle, a sweet little thing, was in that time of life where everything is a major discovery.
That's when holy week came along. At church, during that week, they were learning about Jesus' final days - his going to jerusalem in triumph, the last supper, and, on Friday night, the service ended with Jesus' death on the cross to pay for our sins.
Since it was the weekend, I had taken off to stay at a friend's house in the town I used to go to church.
When I got back to their house, on Sunday after the worship service, the little girl was going up the walls with excitement. She had to tell me these wonderful news!
"Virginia! On Friday Jesus died. And I was so sad because I thought Jesus was dead, but he rose again!!! He is alive!!!"
Do we understand this truth as a child?
Happy Easter Sunday, everyone!

Laughter is the best medicine

There are a lot of things in life that we can not choose. But there are plenty of things we can. One of the things we can choose is our mood. I personally believe that life is both too short and too long to be spent in a bad mood. It was my grandma that taught me that. And, hey, I am not getting any younger, so I will take the good mood over the bad.

I don't understand why some people choose to go through life miserably. Some people choose to go through life like this – complaining about everything. Seeing the worst in everything, and mulling over it as if they could actually make things better by worrying and complaining! Oh, life is not fair! Oh, people are so prejudicial! Oh, the social injustices! Oh, the rain! Oh, the snow! Oh, the heat! Oh! Oh! Oh!

When I was a teenager, Grandma used to tell me that I worried too much. Think typical teenagers. Those kids who are pseudo-revolutionaries and worry about all the problems in the world every single minute of their lives as if the amount of worry they do could actually do something for the world? Yup, that was me. Grandma used to say she was too old for these kind of worries.

Grandma is a model for me. She is a fantastic person. When I am old (which will never happen! Me old! Ha! I will always be 12!!!)

Grandma laughs a lot. She has always laughed a lot. She has gone through a lot of hell in life, but she keeps her good mood and she laughs at everything. She is not worried about solving all the problems in the world, and she doesn't pretend she can change the things she can't. The only thing she can change, she does – her attitude, her mood.

She is a great woman and she is very caring towards those who are part of her life. She will turn into The Incredible Hulk if anyone tries to harm any of us. But she is not constantly preoccupied with everything else. Because – it seems that she knows that – she can make her life better or worse simply by not pretending everything depends on her. Have a good time, even when things are not turning out the way you think they should. That's what she seems to say with the way she acts.

Chico Anysio (one of the greatest comedians in Brazil who passed away last week) once said that the Brazilian people are the only ones who can make humor out of their own misery. I am not sure whether or not we are the only ones. What I am sure of is that making humor out of things that are not so fun is a great way to deal with those things and a great way to be happier in life. Because it is here that we find ourselves changing the only one thing we can control in life – our attitude, our mood.

Why am I going on and on about how to be happy and how to choose your own attitude? Because I was impressed at how people can actually be unhappy all the time about anything and everything!

I was watching this hysterically funny video on an old friend's Facebook. The video showed a woman who couldn't parallel park her Smart car to save her life. The people recording the video were having a blast, commenting on the fact that the Spanish woman couldn't parallel park.

As it is usual on Facebook, an unhappy soul decided to poke in during the comments and spill his share of dissatisfaction and hatred. He had to let us all know how the video recorders were damned and stupid for making fun of the fact the person was a woman and a Spaniard.

I tried to lighten his mood. Me, always thinking that people actually want to be helped. Silly me! But, hey, one day I will learn. Here I went, “Hey, bro, chill. Don't we all make jokes about Portuguese and Hicks? Same difference! I am not mad at them and I am a woman.”

Why do some people choose to go through life living miserably and unhappily? This guy replied, in a very aggressive tone, that we only tell jokes about societal prejudices. No one jokes about whites or males. Jokes are against women, blacks, gays, children, etc. We should rebel against such awful injustices of society!

Can you imagine yourself in a circle of friends telling jokes and some freak starts blurting about how jokes are a form of prejudice? That's kind of the same thing that happened on Facebook.

Well, I've learned that trying to win an argument with a complete stranger that pokes on your friend's posting on Facebook by using reason is about as effective as shooting your own foot! It leads no one nowhere worthy! I figured I could choose my attitude – I could either be mad and start a Facebook discussion with a complete stranger, or just chill. I chose to chill. I replied, “Ok, bro. It's your choice. Stay in peace. I am just too old for that kind of attitude. I prefer to just laugh.”

I might have learned something from Grandma, and if that was not what she wanted me to learn, then I guess she did something wrong, because this is what I have learned – It is better to laugh that to cry in life, and I am the only one who can choose one or the other. Laughter is the best medicine!

That's all for now, gang! Come back next week! And chill!

Let's eat chocolate and popcorn!

So all these crazy studies are coming out about how popcorn is actually healthy, or how chocolate is actually healthy, or how all sorts of food that were once the villains are now considered heroes.

Ok, so now everyone is now going to go around eating chocolate, popcorn and call it health food.

People!!!! Wake up!!! "Everything in moderation!!!" remember?! OMG! What is wrong with people?!

I remember as a teenager everyone used to say that chocolate was bad for your skin - it causes acne! Well, first of all, acne is a genetic condition and if you have it in your genes you'll get the darn pimples - so let me eat my freaking chocolate alone, ok!

Chocolate is not bad, neither is popcorn! And, hey those of you who love quoting Supersize Me, McDonalds won't be bad for you either... If eaten in (guess what!) moderation!!! Amazing, isn't it!

But if those foods are all you eat, everyday, day and night, non-stop, then, don't kid yourself, my friend - you will get sick one way or another, sooner or later.

Don't worry! Eat the stuff you like. Just not all the time and not only that.

Also, don't freaking sit in front of a screen all day long! Goodness gracious, you guys! No food makes miracles! Get outside! Move your muscles! Life is too short to spend it stationary anyway!

CocaCola - that's it!

I love nightmares

Some people hate having bad dreams. I love it! My bad or scary dreams all feel like a horror or thriller movie. And when I get really scared in them, all I have to do is remember it is a dream and then I tell myself to wake up. Then I wake up.

Last night, for instance, part of my dream was with The Walking Dead. That Rick guy had to shoot Lori, pq she had turned into a zombie. We had to keep redoing that scene, because I didn't like the way they were doing the scene. Hey!!! Man, I think I was the director of that episode!!!!

But then I wasn't in the TV show anymore. My baby and I were inside a house with a murderer child. I kept calling 911, but no one answered. The heck!!! Who has ever seen 911 not answer phone calls! But, no, they didn't. I sent Dean out for help. What the heck was I thinking!!! Now I was home alone with a mini psycho ... wait! Dang! ... I can't remember anymore of it! Shoot! The darn thing about dreams is that you have to wake up and say them out loud right away. I f you don't, the stupid dream goes away from your mind. There - gone. 

Now I had this dream last week that I woke up and told it to my baby right away. So I can still remember it - It was more or less like this: There was this guy who was about 60 years old locked inside this abandoned building. H'm... could it be Chuck Norris? Someone lit a bomb right next to him. So he jumped over a huge wall to the next room right before the bomb went off. Just when I was about to breath, relieved, someone else lit another bomb, so he ran to the next room before the bomb went off. Now I was already thinking it was all over when someone screamed that the whole building was about to explode. The guy started running out of the building right before the explosion.

Whew! I was so nervous already! But just when I thought it was all done, someone came along saying he had to do it all over again.

"Wait! Wait! Wait!" I yelled! "You crazy, bro?! You'll end up dying, old man!"
"But I have life insurance!" He said.
"Wake up, old man! Life insurance won't bring you back your life! When you're dead, what will you care about insurance?"
That's when two children show up. They don't look anything like each other. The girl is black and the boy is blond. "I am doing that for my children," he says.
Get real!  What a retard!

Whose last happy childhood ???

Ok, nothing can be scarier to a girl who doesn't want to grow up than receiving a nostalgic email entitled “the last happy childhood,” referring to her own childhood. Why? Because I am too young to be nostalgic, that's why. When my friends start sending me emails with this title, I start thinking they are telling me that our childhood is over. Really? Darn it! You know what? I have a problem with that, because I didn't check that off my calendar!

Regardless of how I organize my calendar, however, I still have a problem with that kind of email. Come on, think with me – do I think my childhood was the best ever? Yes. Do I feel sorry that children today don't have the same experiences I had? Heck, yeah! But talk to my mom! She will say she thinks her childhood was the best ever. She will say she feels sorry for my brothers and I.

In my opinion, it's amazing how many kids today don't know Indiana Jones, Jason Vorhees, Freddy Krueger! Some kids don't even don't Micheal Jackson was black! Some kids have know idea what videotapes or LPs are! Some kids don't even know what a CD or a DVD is!!! All they know are mp3s and movie downloads! They don't go to video stores or game stores – they download stuff on I-pods, I-pads, X-boxes, Play Stations!!! I mean, man! I loved going to a video store and sneaking to the horror movie section! Oh, there is one more thing kids today don't know! Kids today have no idea there was a time in which it was ok not to be politically correct. Can you imagine that kind of life?

Now ask my mom what she thinks! She wishes we could have played outside without worrying about crazy kidnappers, drivers, pollution. She wishes we could have walked everywhere and played in the streets. She wishes we could have known a time when TV had only one channel. And she wishes we didn't just know everything about everything. She thinks her childhood was the last happy childhood.

Wait a minute! But if hers was the last happy one, than what about mine? I did love my childhood! I mean, yes, I grew up locked in the eighteenth floor of a condo, in a big city. Walking anywhere was just too dangerous and the only safe thing to do was to watch TV all afternoon. Even riding my bike had to be under adult supervision, inside the gates of our condo. So, yes, my childhood, compared to my mom's, was quite a prison. But I had a very happy childhood in my own way. Regardless of what I didn't have, I had my make believe worlds, I had my invisible friends, I had super-powers, I had what every child in every time needs to have a happy childhood – imagination.

Teachers tend to say that children today don't have any more imagination because of computers. Really? Teachers used to say the same thing when I was growing up, just that they talked about TV. But I had plenty of imagination. I think TV actually helped me find even more make-believe worlds.

And I bet when my little brother grows up, he will look at his own computerized childhood and think it was the best ever – texting, virtual reality, downloads, Hannah Montana, High School Musical, blah, blah, blah. He will probably look at the kids of the future and think – poor children, they don't have what I had. He will probably think his was the last happy childhood. Wanna bet?

Your childhood was the last happy childhood – because it was the only one you had.

Pure and simple Narcissism

Folks, I was thinking the other day, "But I'm about to see a more narcissistic bunch than those people from Bahia." 


"But why," you ask, "Why do you think Baianos are too narcissistic for their own good?" 

Oxente*! Very simple, dear friend, have you seen anywhere else in the world a place in which virtually all native singers/musicians praise their city or state? Virtually everyone who makes music in Bahia has at least one song that exalts Salvador or Bahia! 


My king*, I do not find this kind of behavior anywhere else in this world. It may exist somewhere, but I do not know of it. True, there are some kiddos over in California that sing a couple of songs about California. There was Frank Sinatra who sang New York New York. And John Denver sings Country Roads about West Virginia. But nothing is as intense as Bahia. In Bahia it is a widespread thing. It is something endemic. Bahia has musicians up and down the road singing praises to Salvador. 


I say this full of narcissism and pretty shamelessly. I'm narcissistic all right, thank God who made me be born Baiana! Yes, Baiana with capital B indeed! And not because I forget adjectives in Portuguese are not capitalized. But because I speak of it as in the sentence, "I'm going to Bahia" said by a person from the countryside who heads towards the state capital - Salvador. 


I am Baiana! I am Soteropolitana! All capitalized! 


Soteropolitana, by the way, is actually a phenomenal word! Our adjective is so chic that has Greek and Latin etymology! Sotero - "savior" in Latin. And Polis - "city" in Greek. So Soteropolitana means "native of the City of the Holy Savior" (which is the official name of our city - Cidade do São Salvador) in both Greek and Latin. Nothing is more appropriate for a country of Latin origin language with many words of Greek etymology.


Do I live in the U.S.? Yup. Life brought me here. But life has paths that take us far away. It doesn't matter where the paths take us. What matters is where you came from. What matters is what your heart says. And my heart says: All I am today was created in Bahia! In the City of the Holy Savior! And, boy, do I like what I am! Wouldn't trade one of I for ten of another. Mom would agree to that!! 


PS. This post should be read with a Baiano accent. Oxente! 


*These are Baiana words I just couldn't bring myself to replace with standard English.
Oxente - some sort of interjection only Baianos know when to use.
My king- Man, Bro.

What has life done to our lives?

I'm not sure when it was that we grew up, but the girls told me we did.

I guess we did. After all, I am married, right?

But if we grew up, then what happened to the dreams we dreamed for our lives?

We should all be married and having children the way we planned, but I'm the only one married in the group, and I really don't know if I want children anymore. Who cares about children! I'm happy with my husband! But I wish the girls were too - happy with husbands. Why are things not working the way we planned? We were all going to get married on the same day, remember? One in the morning, another in the afternoon, and the other in the evening.

And as for me, I don't know where my brains were when I got into teaching little kids how to read. This was the last thing I wanted in my life. I wanted to be a housewife (and a writer in my spare time). How did I get here - teaching school kids to read and write?

When did we mess up our perfectly dreamed up lives and got stuck with the lives of the grownups we tried so hard to be different from?  It's just that when we are teenagers everything looks so perfect ahead of us. And then life gets in the way. "Well," says the poet, "we did want, after all, to be happy, but there aren't ways to return anymore ... and what has life done to our lives?"

There aren't ways to return?! Hold on a second! Says who I have to stay here? I got married like I always dreamed of, didn't I? Why should I give up on my other dreams? It's true I can't be a housewife anymore. My husband's income is not enough to support the lifestyle we chose. But I won't end my days as a school teacher just to support my lifestyle. I don't want to hate my job just so I can enjoy my vacations. I'll get into translation, accounting, administration, or even teaching, but teaching grownups. I will do anything that I actually enjoy and make that my career.

I'm glad I remembered I wanted to be a writer as well. I am not sure when I forgot about it.  I guess I forgot about it because I eventually had to pay my bills and, even as a teenager, I knew writers don't usually pay their bills with the money they get from their books.

But why did I forget I wanted to see my work published nonetheless? Not for fame or money, but for my own joy. I am working on a new book right now. The Little Girl From yesterday,which is about the Beatles, is ok, and I know it was a favorite in my school when I wrote it, but I was a middle school kid then. My writing has gotten much better since, and I can come up with better plots. Why did I really publish "the Little Girl..."? For one, I hope I can get a copy to Paul McCartney someday _ a dream I've had since I wrote the book in Portuguese. After all I only wrote it because of him. But also because "the little girl from yesterday" is the first story I ever wrote and I just wanted to see my book published just like the ones the teachers had us read. It was another dream I had forgotten about.

I don't want to forget about my dreams anymore. I don't want to wake up old some day and realize I left most of my dreams behind. And " there aren't ways to return anymore".

Labels

"I'd rather be this moving metamorphosis than to have that good old opinion about everything," said the singer.
This is the year I register to vote. And I will register as an independent.
Why? Because I don't want to be labeled. I don't believe in labels.
Do I identify more with the conservative side? Yes, in some points. But do I really want the label Republican attached to people's idea of who I am? No!
I am not a Republican. I am not a Democrat. I will never be either.

I question everything people seem to already know as right or wrong. "Question everything" is one of the mottoes posted on my classroom walls. That's because this is one thing I hope my students learn from me.
I believe it is healthy, so I try to question everything. If you don't see me questioning something right now it is either because I have already done it and arrived at a conclusion, or because I haven't thought of it yet. And I don't want people judging me on matters I have no idea what my say is yet. Don't tell me how I should think - let me get there on my own. Don't fight me - question me.

Another reason why I will register as an independent is because I feel that if I registered with one party or another I'd be sending the message that I believe that one side or another has it all figured out. I am not naive enough to believe that the Rs have the answer for the problems of this country, even though I identify with many of their views. You're kidding yourself if you think that any side has the answers. You're being extremely full of yourself to accuse the other side of hating the country and trying to destroy it. Maybe this is true of some people. Some people have made it clear that they do believe that. But it is not safe to assume that is what everyone who is not on your side wants. No one has the absolute answer, so accusing each other will only dig us deep into a hole. And no one man or party can save this country. Reasoning together and in honesty, without labeling, might get us up and running again.

When I vote, I will vote according to what I feel it is the less of two evils for that moment in time.

For instance, right now, I know I don't like Obama's economy policies. Obama's ego suffers from something called elephantiasis. He is extremely full of himself. But he is either an ignorant or an evil bad liar. He is a mess and he is turning the country into a bigger mess than his successor did. I will give an example. High gas prices. Obama has said himself he wants energy costs to skyrocket. He has said that because he wants to force America into an age of green fuels that we are not ready for and that is not cost effective yet. No, I don't want this in my future. I would love if green fuels were to be in humanity's future, but not at the wrong  moment. At a moment when it will cost me my ability to save for retirement or to go on vacation (something I work hard all year for), because every penny I make will go to pay for fuel. So I will definitely vote republican, because it's the option against Obama. I don't believe the republican guy will save the country, but if he does less damage to the economy than the current guy has done so far, that's good enough for me.

I fight my battles one at a time, on a case by case basis. So please don't judge me and don't assume I am on your side. I am on my conscience's side. Wouldn't it be nice if more people did that? It's not too late. Throw away the labels, question everything! Reason it out and make sense of it. Don't be satisfied with secondary accounts of history or news, go to the sources, use your brain. If you were lucky you had a teacher that taught you how to use it. Ask questions and keep your mind open to change, if reason leads to change.

Please don't trust your life to me

I was telling my husband he should have investigated me a little bit better before we got married.
I'm not a very trustworthy person. Seriously. Every time someone else and I were in trouble, I always made sure I'd get mine out of the line, I don't care whom I am leaving behind.
Example number 1:
Leandro and I at camp. We and our group of friends (we were all a bunch of 6, 7, or 8 year-olds) loved to hang out at this place we called thee-rosion. It was actually the way we heard grownups calling the erosion behind the dining hall, but we didn't know any better. We just liked to go jumping all the holes in it as if we were conquering the grand canyon. One day we found this ladder that was left there by some grownup. So Leandro and I and another girl decided we'd go down the ladder to the bottom of thee-rosion. The ladder, however, was old and decrepit, with a few steps missing and others half broken, so as soon as we got down there, the girl freaked out. "Oh, my gosh, we shouldn't be here! We're going to die!" She hurried back up. My brother and I got scared at her freaking out so we also decided to climb up, but before Lelas could touch the ladder I made sure I went up as fast as possible, breaking a couple of steps on my way up, enough to assure that was virtually impossible for any child to climb on whichever steps were left. Well, that means Lelas was now stuck at the bottom of the deadly thee-rosion. Yes, I felt extremely guilty and made sure I got my brother out of there safe and sound while the other girl was long gone, but if we were really in danger, I'd have been saved and my brother wouldn't.

Example number 2:
We were both in this river swimming. However we were both very near this spot where river and ocean meet and there is a certain spot right there where, if you get caught, you just drawn, no matter how well you swim.
Well, we didn't know that. we were swimming and we got caught in this stream. Lelas was right behind me. Just enough to not be able to step down.
I could still find land, so I am striving to get back to shore, while Lelas is grabbing me from behind. "Let go!" I'd say while I pushed his hand away.
Yeah, I could have killed my brother....

So, please, next time we are in a life and death situation together - run away from me!!!!!

Everything changes!

Everything changes, I know. All the time. The poet said, "nothing that we we see is the same as we saw a second ago."
I know that.
But too many changes in a very short time is a little bit earthshaking.
My step-cousin, no more than 5 years older than me, died of cancer last month. I only found it out this week.
My best friend, 3 months younger than me,  broke off her 5-year engagement this week - a month before her wedding.
Wow! What else has to happen? Boy! Am I glad the week is over!!!! Beware of the Ides of March, eh!

My step-cousin - I saw him a few times in my life, when we were both little kids. Just after Christmas I found out he had cancer and was at the hospital. It was hard to picture that little guy, now a man, lying on a hospital bed, dying.
He passed away exactly three months after his diagnosis. It was too late for doctors to do anything for him.
Have I said how much I HATE CANCER before? No?
I HATE CANCER!!!!
Too many people die of it, and you can do NOTHING to prevent it! What a disgusting disease!
And, as much as I think about death as something normal, something that could happen at any time to any one of us, including myself, it is really creepy to think that someone that close to me in age just died. I guess we just never really get used to the idea of death. I guess we just never get used to the idea that this thing called cancer can just come and take away our people!

And to top it off - I am only told about it a month later. Trying to digest the whole thing, kind of screwed my romantic mood for the week.

Then, my best friend tells me over MSN that her wedding is off ... for good!
What??? Girl, you don't drop off that bomb over an msn message and expect me not to call you and ask for the deats. I mean, what on earth? Didn't you message me a few days before to tell me about this cool thing that you were going to do in your wedding? I mean, how on earth? Spit it out - you're not brushing that off with a simple, "I'd rather not talk about it."
Apparently Mr.Right was anguishing over whether or not he was supposed to be Mr.Right, whether he'd be able to continue being Mr. Right after the wedding, and hey, there is only so much questioning and fear a girl can take from a guy. I totally understand her side. Enough is enough. At the end of the day, you want to know your guy is there for you - 100% of him, not his blinker version (I'm on, I'm off, I'm on, I'm off). I feel really sorry that this had to happen to my best friend.
Well, I am through with this week. I'm glad it's over. Let's move on. Or, as we say in Brazil, "Kick the ball to the goal cuz it's playoff game!"

Sit down and plan!

Luke 14:28 - For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost to see if he has enough to finish it. 

My area of expertise is not theology. So most of my postings are not theology. THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT THEOLOGY. I just wanted to show through a biblical verse that was part of my pastor's sermon this morning how something is such a simple and obvious proof of common sense, that Jesus Christ himself used it as a comparison in one of his teachings. 

I'm not sure whether I read this verse too many times as a little or whether it was just the influence of my family, but I always had the idea contained in this verse as a guide for my financial life. For all my projects, past and future, I always sat down and planned. I always wanted to ensure that conditions would be there to do what I wanted, and if there were no conditions at the time, what was the right time and what was the better way.
It is sad that for so many people in today's world, this idea is not even far in their horizon. Some think that sitting down and planning is lack of faith. After all, "God will provide."
Many others believe that it is other people or the government (which ultimately are all other people) who should pay for their poorly/not planned projects. 

Friend, sit down and plan. Do the math! Can you can afford the cost of the endeavor you intends to undertake? No? So, do not do it. Be quiet and go back to the drawing board. It is a matter of common sense.

Old age never killed anyone

So, Davy Jones is gone. Some of you grew up watching him on TV, as new shows, as reruns, as VCR tapes, it all depends in which decade you grew up (60's, 70's, 80's or 90's).

I only got to know who Davy Jones was in the past 4 years, since I have been married. But last year I did see him, Micky and Peter in a Reunion Concert, and I am glad I did. And now I am grieving with all of you who grew up watching him on TV.

And as usual I turn to writing as a way of coping with it.

In these past 24 hours, since I heard the news, I have been thinking about the idea of death. Davy died at age 66. Some people on facebook considered that age too young. Well, when you are 66 you're not necessarily considered young. As a matter of fact, you are considered a senior citizen, but I am sure when I (if I) get to 66 I will still feel as young as 21. Just as a feel right now. And anyway, Paul McCartney is 69 and, had we both been single and he asked me to marry him, I'd say yes without a doubt. I'd not wait a split second. Just in case he might change his mind. And Paul said he will never believe he is already knocking at the 70's door.

So, seriously, what does age have to do with it? Old age doesn't kill anyone. What kills people are heart attacks, cancers(How many children are dying of cancer!), swine flus... Things that can happen at any age, really. To die, all one needs is to be alive. If we are alive, chances are we are going to die. Sooner or later. And we beat the odds everyday. We've been beating the odds ever since we were born. The older we get, the longer we have been beating the odds. But, see, that means that the older we get the more chances we take at dying. Eventually death will find all of us. One way or another. But age has nothing to do with it.

That is why I am, I will always be, 21!