Tuesday, May 28, 2013

boy who wanted to die

Today I almost got out of my car to spank the bottom of a kid who was riding a bicycle in the middle of the street.
There I was, in my car, on my street, going toward the intersection with Main Street. And here came the kid crossing Main Street on his bike in the direction of my street.
You'd think the kid would see my car coming and would steer toward the sidewalk, right? But the kid is not coming my way, the plague.
When I realize that the little pest is in oblivion to the fact that he is about to enter a frontal collision with my car, I decided to move to the middle of the road to give him more space alongside the curb.
What did the kid do? Directs the bike well into the middle of the road, in the same direction that I was!
Oh, brother!
When a car gets a pest like this and kills him, who is to blame? The driver!

But this type of plague is not the only problem infesting the American traffic (or that of anywhere in the world, for that matter)
I am sure you are familiar with the phrase, "You are a special kind of stupid," aren't you?
In Brazil we say someone has entered the stupid queue twice.
This is especially common in traffic.
Last week I turned on the left-turn signal to enter my street. The car in front of me did the same.
We were both slowing down and pulling our cars to the middle of Main street, so that we could turn left.
Then, when the opposite direction cars passed, the guy in front of me turned left and entered my street. ... And, my friend, I say this with all sincerity and awe, the most preposterous thing happened. As he entered the street, he stopped the car - right there - at the corner - as soon as he made the turn.
And there he stood, blocking my entry for almost a minute, while I, in a state of complete shock, tried to understand wtf. When I realized that the creature wouldn't shit nor get off the bush, I decided to touch on my horn.
I said touch! If u consider the state I was in, consider it a miracle that I have not laid my hand on the horn with a passion.
To the sound of my beep, the car just went into motion and into the parking lot of the building on the corner!
Are you freaking kidding me!

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