Sunday, February 18, 2018

Now I know

So all this time I thought you were my friend.

Now I know you were really just showing off to a faceless, soulless name on a screen. 

Just that you forgot that on the other side of that screen was a real person - flesh, blood and a beating heart. Even worse - you actually knew me. I wasn’t someone you met on social media - we were just using it to stay in touch ... or so I thought. 

But, hey, you don’t even remember who I am, do ya?

Now I know that you were actually just putting on a social media mask - which you now claim to despise - to make you look good ... to yourself? ... sure not to me, because:

Now I know you never saw me as a person - much less as a friend. I was just a “distraction” from your “real life” (whatever you mean by that). 

Just that you were real to me. You were kind of a big deal to me. When you told me about your goals and projects, your values, your wife and kids, I took those words as inspiration. When I thought you were hurting, I wanted to help, and listened to your complaints. When several times you promised we’d all get together, I believed you. Why shouldn’t I? And I looked forward to those days. And I believed you cared to know about my crazy life, my husband’s ideals, my babies’ stories.

It isn’t personal, you said. Well, see: Quitting a job isn’t personal. Not talking to a stranger isn’t personal. 

However, telling someone who trusted when you said “we’re friends” that such friendship never existed... that, my dear, is far from “not personal”. 

Questioning what my “intentions” are is pretty darn personal. 

Turning a friendship that should have extended to our kids and spouses into “a married woman pursuing another woman’s man” is very much personal ... and cruel. 

You once told me you’re usually the one getting hurt by others. Well, when I told you I was hurting, you pushed me away and did not want to talk to me. So congratulations! This time it’s you who got someone hurt. Hope you’re proud of yourself.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

no one dies a day before

This is for those who are afraid to fly. No one dies the day before, gang. This stewardess died today, aged 66. in 1972 she was the only survivor of a plane that exploded mid-air. She was thrown thousands of feet and landed on a snowy hill. ONLY. SURVIVOR.

Sunday, November 06, 2016

burning books

Heinrich Heine, a German-Jewish poet, wrote: "Where one burns books, one will, in the end, burn people." This poet lived from 1797 to 1856. Was he prophesying? It took 8 years from the burning of books (1933) to the burning of people (1941) in Nazi Germany.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Right before school starts

Well, that's it for me. That time of year when I wake up to the harsh reality that I am not a full time homemaker. The word of the day today is carpe diem. 
It's been such an exciting summer.
I've learned so much. There's so much more to learn. The rooster killing was the height of my summer. I NEVER thought I had it in me. Me - born and raised city girl.
I wish hubby could afford for me to stay home full time. 

Out, baby!

Please, no one tell me what's worse than being pregnant bc if there is such a thing, I don't want to know!

Little known fact:
The third trimester of pregnancy lasts 12 months. 
As for the last month, it comes up to 365 days. 

I'm at that point in the pregnancy where I begin to tell the baby, "Listen, kiddo, here's the tough truth - it's one person, one body. Non-paying renters not welcome."

On the other hand - I can't stop being amazed. 

That two people can simply grow another life is something I can't get over.

 There's nothing to it. Sex, a fun little thing every couple knows about. 

Next thing you know, there's a new life. 

Three weeks after conception, there's a tiny beating heart. That's a week after a girl misses her period. And that little thing will develop into something cute and cuddly we all know as babies. ... Well, ok, they're not cute and cuddly when they're first born. They have that knee face and that weird look that says, "ok... What the hell just happened here?" 
.... Sorry, I know, babies don't swear. 

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Head cut off

Life's been so hectic that just yesterday when I walked by the chicken coup I heard one of them come up with this gem, "I'm so tired of running around like Virginia with her head cut off."

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Before you have kids

So before you have little mobile babies in the house, you simply don't understand certain things. For example, I thought I was having a baby, not a home inspector. 
Alexandra gets into everything she opens every drawer she touches everything she puts everything in her mouth. A couple of nights ago she was looking under the carpets! I had no idea it to get so dirty under my carpets!
I also had no idea how many places in my house had spider webs. Well, they don't anymore. I vacuum early and often now. 
Holy cow, I thought I was a clean housewife. 
Also, where was my mind when I refused a baby gate "because I already have plenty"? There's no such a thing as plenty baby gates!!!!
I'm noticing I have no idea were baby safety locks. I always wondered why the heck people need baby safety locks why can't you just keep an eye on the baby? Well, newsflash, there's no such a thing as keeping an eye when the baby when the baby is mobile. No safety locks are enough. 

Monday, July 11, 2016

I’ll keep my Redbull, thank you!

Btw!!! Everyone be like, mimimi, you can't have caffeine while pregnant, mimimi! Guess what! I can have up to 200mg of caffeine a day!!! While preggo and while breastfeeding!!! A large sized redbull (16 oz!) has 150mg of caffeine! So guess what! I KEEP MY REDBULL! YOU KEEP YOUR MIMIMI! 😛 😛

New class

Every time I register for a new class I get butterflies in my stomach. And I think, "what am I doing? I'm too old to learn anything!" 

Does it sound crazy?... Am I the only one who feels that way?

Into a million pieces

The only reason babies survive their first year is that they are too cute. 
Little Alexandra managed to pull down and break into a million pieces the lamp we bought last year. Dean and I had spent 7 years looking for one of those lamps bc they don't make them anymore. 

7 years... Into a million pieces... Into the trash can. 

And here I am thinking I'm just glad the destroyer isn't hurt. 

Alex and Alex

I will have Alexandra marry Alexander. 

I actually mean George Alexander Louis...

You know, Prince of Cambridge. 

I still have to give my good friend Kate a call to make the final arrangements. As in, will she have to go to manners school? Do I have to kill off the loonies in my family? Etc etc etc.