Wednesday, September 03, 2014

We are insignificant.

"We are insignificant. No matter how much you plan your life, at any time everything might change." (“Somos insignificantes. Por mais que você programe sua vida, a qualquer momento tudo pode mudar.”) ―Ayrton Senna

This year it has been 20 years since the awful death of our dear Ayrton Senna - the rich Brazilian kid who was not ashamed  of being one of us. He raised our flag, he brought up our national pride when there was very little to be proud of. He was an honorable man. He was 34.
Just 2 weeks ago a tragic airplane explosion killed a presidential candidate in Brazil. A father. A husband. A healthy man with an honored past and a promising future in politics. He was 49.

Earlier this year a heart attack took the life of a healthy actor we all loved Zé Wilker. Yes, he was 69, but active and healthy.

Even earlier Shirley Temple died without even being sick. She was 85.

They all left us just like that.

I can never add to my life another minute. No matter how healthy I am, I can't guarantee I will live to see the next day.

We, as human beings, worry so much about terminal cancer patients. We know they are dying so we want them to have their last wishes. But aren't we all dying? Aren't we all putting off our last wishes? 

Why don't I live as if my life could end at any moment? The cemetery is full of people who thought the world couldn't live without them. The world goes on, and we all leave it eventually - we just know when.

I don't know when. I don't want to live as if I did. I don't know if I will live till tonight. I don't want to  act as if I did.

I want to be happy and enjoy every little thing I do right now. Plan for the future, yes. But live for today.
I don't want to postpone my dreams.  No more "next year", unless "next year" be a sine qua non.
I don't want to say to my husband, "it's too late, let's do it tomorrow." No, let's do it tonight.
I don't want to prevent myself from doing something good to someone because "it can be done tomorrow".

I want to make a difference in people's lives by showing them how much they mean to me - today. I want to say and do things to make them happy and safe.

I want to say I love you to all those I love, and I not say anything to hurt those I don't care about.
Not a minute in my life is guaranteed. I don't want to live as if it were. We only go through the race track once. Let's do it for real.The time is now. The day is today. Tomorrow everything might change.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Water downhill

"Water downhill, Fire uphill, and woman in love ... can't be held back." I think this is an old saying in Brazil. First time I heard it was in a Globo TV series. So true.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Mr. and Mrs. Penny Pincher

Last Saturday Dean and I went for a drive to an antique store. It was my compromise so that he would go bike riding with me.

It was a lovely sunny day and I really wanted to go bike riding. But I wasn't the only one who realized the day was lovely. Every 2 blocks there was a tag sale.

Dean and I joked about it, and I started asking him questions about tag sales.

When I realized he had no idea how to prepare a tag sale, I had to come to the conclusion: "You've never done a tag sale in your life, have you?"

"Not really."

Oh, that's right. I had forgotten I was talking to Dean Winters.

Dean never gives anything away. He uses it until it breaks. When it breaks, he fixes it and uses it again. When it breaks again, he fixes it once more, and uses it until it breaks again. And he fixes it one more time, and uses it until it crumbles into a million pieces. That's when he will shop for a used replacement.

Oh, dear ...

...that's why I married him.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Try correctig an ESL student

I understand how ESL students feel when they have their pronunciation corrected. Their reaction drives me crazy,though.

Here's the drill:

They say a word wrong.

I try to figure out what the heck they are saying.

When I figure it out and repeat it to them - hoping they will repeat it back to me - all they say is "yes."

I repeat the word, cuing them to repeat it after me.

And they say - Yes.

And in my mind I go, "Heavens help me."

I say, "You're supposed to repeat it."

They look at me with a blank stare.

I repeat the word once more, and signal to them with my hand,  "Now You".

And they go, "yes."

I collapse.

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Bhutanese Rice

Last week my students and I traveled to Plymouth. The best part of the trip was lunch time.

We had lunch at the Monument to the Forefathers. It was a nice place for a picnic. Students sat on the shade, on the sun, on the tree branches. We had fun.
But this was not the best part. The best part was what they made me do.

The drama queen of the group, a girl from Puerto Rico - I called her Drama Queen, and she said "not me", but later she wrote a poem called "I am a Drama Queen" - well, she was walking around with the Russian girls holding a plate of Nepali spicy rice (or Bhutanese spicy rice).

The Bhutanese rice is something the Bhutanese kids make every time wehave lunch together. It is really spicy. They tend to share it with everyone.

The Puerto Rican girl was eating a sample, but was less than excited about it.
I didn't know she wasn't into it. I was super excited. "Ooh! You have Nepali rice!!! May I have a bite?"


I was worried when she said yes, bc it sounded as if she didn't want to share. And to make things worse, I didn't have a spork. Darn. She will be angry.

"Well, do you mind if I use your spork? I don't have anything."

"Actually do you want the whole thing?"

"Do you not want me to use your spork? I can find one for me."

"No. I don't want it. it's too spicy."

"WHAT!!! Give it to me, woman!"

"You're gonna eat it?"

"Heck, yeah!"

Than this little Ukranian girl challenges me, "Eat the red pepper. Eat the red pepper."

This is a tiny little Ukranian girl, who always wears her long hair in a braid. She is the cutest little thing. So picture this little thing jumping in front of you saying, "Eat the red pepper."
And I say, "Hm, okay. I actually will eat all the hot peppers in this plate in one bite in front of you if you go down to the bus and bring me a box of milk." (yes, milk - I knew what I was getting myself into, and I knew I would NEED milk)

"Are you for real?" Asks wide-eyed Little Ukranian girl.

"I'm tellin' ya. Go get me a box of milk."

There goes Little Ukranian girl down to the bus and back with a chocolate milk in less than 30 seconds - I could swear it was less than 30 seconds. How do kids do certain things so fast is beyond my comprehension. It's all about motivation.

"Here. Now eat the peppers."

I pick all the peppers from the plate put them all on the spork, and shove them into my mouth right in front of them all.

Okay - here is what happens when you bite a red hot chilli pepper - nothing ... a first. It's when the thing starts spreading in your mouth and down your throat that things get ugly.

So I waited a few seconds. And so did everyone else. When I finally felt the burning, I asked Little Ukranian Girl, trying not to lose my mind, "Milk. Quick."

She hands me a closed carton of milk.

"No, girl. Open it. I have no hands. Oh. My eyes. They are watering already. Quick."

She opens it, and as she opens it, another Ukranian girl is pointing at me screaming, "Mrs. Winters is crying!"

I shove the milk down in one gulp. Wow. No use. It is still burning pretty bad.

Me to Little Ukranian girl, this time, "Quick! Go get me another milk!"

And as she hurries down, laughing her pants off, I'm whining, "Two cartons of milk! There goes my diet down the drain!"

After I chug down the second carton of milk, I proceed to finish the rice - the amazement of the Ukranian and Puerto Rican children.

"You're going to eat the rest of it?"

"Of course, people! I'm Brazilian! Spicy is my middle name."

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

My mission in life: Chocolate NGO

So last night I came across this sad video:
I can not believe there are people in this world who have never tasted chocolate.
This is so sad and awful.
I believe I found my mission in life:
I must take chocolate to every person in this planet. no one should have to go through life without chocolate.
I must start up a non-governmental organization to take chocolate to all the peoples of the earth.
Who will join me in this effort?

Sunday, July 20, 2014

I'm an immigrant

And when I say I'm an immigrant I mean I moved.
I don't mean I hate my home country, my language, my name,  my accent, my history, my traditions, my pride.
I didn't intend or and I have not signed a contract saying that I would leave any of the above behind (in my heart) in order to embrace those of my new country instead.
The first immigrants to this country didn't leave their traditions behind, did they? I'm talking about the Mayflower pilgrims.

Their home country was evil to them. Their home country had become dangerous to them. They fled  because they saw no other way out. They had to leave the only place they loved, because that place had become hostile to them.

However, you can take the person out of his land, but you can't take the land out of the person. They came and they brought their country with them.

They named their new country New England, New York, New Jersey, New Britain. They brought their religion, their games, their clothes, their tradition, their history. They even kept their names, instead of adapting them to the local native languages.

They learned new things from the native people, but they didn't leave their culture behind.
And that was okay. Right? We honor those men today.

So why would you, child of those first immigrants, expect us, the new immigrants, to hate or want to do away with our culture? Our language, our accent, our history, our food, our traditions, and even  change our name?

As much as our country might have pushed us away, nothing it did will necessarily make us leave what we are behind, or make us stop loving it.

Why can't we, the new immigrants, simply add to our culture the culture of our new land? And add to the culture of our new land our culture? Why would you expect us to replace one for the other?

Are you jealous because you think you only have one?

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Cell phone at the wedding

Recently I saw a video on Facebook that u might have seen too.

Bride and groom in the middle of their wedding. The priest there, talking about God and marriage, when the bride looks down, pulls a cell from her boobs, reads the message, puts the phone back in her boobs, and continues to look the priest.

Groom is still there - looking like a  total idiot.

Many people commented on that post. Everyone found it absurd.

But here I was thinking to myself - this video was made up. There is so much made-up stuff on Facebook? It is so easy to make these things up. Especially when the video camera is tightly focused on the bride and groom - only on them.

Think with me. What kind of a woman is this? On her big day (the wedding) all dressed in white (the dream of every girl's childhood). Marriage happens only once in life. Could it be that a woman dressed as a bride would do such an idiocy, on camera, as to bring out a cell from within her boobs?

Well, here we are - back from vacation. Missed weeks of my birthday and my vacation, but now I'm back - on this awful final game of the world cup that I do not want to watch.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Why is everyone mad at facebook?

Facebook, social media, text messages - that's all young people do today! Why don't they talk more? People used to talk more!



Think about that for a sec. Today people sit on the bus with their iphones. 20 years ago they sat on the bus with their news papers. Have our habits really changed that much?
20 yearsw ago the only techonology kids used were mini games and game boys.

Today we have facebook and texting devices, and I have never communicated with my family as much as I do today.

Technology is just a tool and you can use it as an excuse to isolate yourself or to make yourself available to the world.

We might not be meeting lots of new people, but we find every sing second of our busy lives to stay in touch with people we care about.

But we actually are meeting new people. My husband has made friends all over the world by joining a group that does old style shaving.

Maybe the problem today is too much communication. No, I don't like when my husband takes me out on a date and chats away with his friends, but that is not a technology problem - it is a discipline problem.

I don't forget the times when I used to run off to the TV room with my soup just so I could watch TV. Instead of sitting on the table and talking with my grandma.

I do have one complaint. We are too quick to leave the media that we used so intensely just a few months ago.

We started with msn / aol/ yahoo chat rooms. They have been abandoned for facebook. Now people are slowing leaving behind facebook for the chat apps.

My msn never stopped ringing about 3 years ago. Today you can hear the crickets. I might as well delete the app.

I didn't know how long facebook will last, but I have a feeling eole will witch it for something else and forget about it eventually. And facebook owner will be smart to buy other technologies if he wants to stay on top.

My family today uses an app called What'sApp and we have free txt messages across country lines. We have never talked this much. And that is saying a lot bc my family loves to talk. So for us to beating our own record, hat is quite a feat.

Sunday, June 08, 2014

Little Brothers

I here was thinking about our naiveté when we try to teach people from different cultures how to worship God appropriately - things that range from how to dress for church until the right rhythm to sing praises.The word of God says that many will praise him from many cultures, languages ​​and nations. Thanks to the missionaries of the ancient world, the nations and cultures of European origins came. Thanks to European pilgrims, peoples from the Americas came. Thanks to the missionaries of the Americas, formerly unreached peoples of Africa and Asia came too.And we all came with our human cultures and languages ​​and failures. And we all had access the Bible and its message. And in our flawed ways, we try to worship this wonderful God who sent his son to die for the fallen race of Adam.Even saved, we are still flawed, because we are still part of the race of sinners. We are redeemed sinners - nothing else."Who has known the mind of our Lord?" Really. And who am I or you, or the European, or the American, to tell another how to sing praises or dress in a way that is pleasing to God?In my view, a Western missionary who tries to tell a Christian from an African or Asian tribe that must use this or that song or outfit equals himself to a 4 year old boy trying to teach the 3 year old little brother how to make Mom's  favorite bean stew.

Sunday, June 01, 2014

Everytime, the same bull-doodoo

Every time there is a fatal shooting, emotions rise to the surface and there is an outcry for tougher gun control laws.

I do not know what it feels like to have a child killed by a mad man. I hope I never have to. I can only imagine few things must be worse than that kind of loss.

But that horrible situation can not become the excuse for raising the banner of gun control. Why not? Because the more we control guns, the more you endanger the whole population.

Bearing arms is about safety - both personal and collective. We are silly to believe having to resort to armed revolt is an impossibility in America. It is a possibility we must hope never comes, but that is in the same way we lock our doors hoping the burglar never comes. Many times he doesn't, but are we stupid not to lock our doors? Most of us has never had to face a burglary, most of us never will. However, we still lock our doors. most of us will not die in an accident, however, we still wear clean underwear just in case.(in case you are looking at me funny let me ask you if you never had a grandma who told you you better wear clean underwear in case you ever find yourself dead on the streets and people will see you in nasty underwear).

Will we ever have the need for an armed revolution? Hope not. Maybe never. But we still prepare. Will we ever be attacked by an armed criminal/rapist in a dark alley? Hope not. Maybe never. As a matter of fact, don't walk into a dark alley. Be we still prepare.

When tragedies happen we think gun control is about preventing them from happening again. It is not.

Gun control is not about taking the gun away from the crazy shooter who takes lives away.

Gun control is about taking guns away from the population. Gun control is about empowering the government to control our lives. Something the Founding Fathers were so profoundly afraid of.

Not long ago, back in April, a boy in Murrysville, PA stabbed twenty students and a security person. No one cried for knife control. Why not? Because the government is not afraid of our knives.

When we cry for gun control, as concerned citizens, we don't realize  that we are in fact being used as puppets, in the hands of the gov-puppeteer who would rather have an armed population, and an excessive say in what we can or can not have.

The problem of violence will not be solved with stricter gun laws. This is too simplistic. in the mid-twentieth century, no one argued gun control, more people accepted guns as normal, but no one ever heard of school shootings. The problem of violence in school is beyond gun control.

Let's not let our emotion and concern for our children speak louder than common sense and big-picture safety. In case I die of a gun shot, don't use me as an excuse either. It is not about that.

And, since everyone likes statistics, let's not forget where most gun crimes happen - where gun laws are stricter:
- Schools are probably the most dangerous place in America today. It is a gun free zone.
- Cities where gun laws are harsher have higher gun crime rates as well. So much that if the two cities with highest crime rate in America were taken off the map, America would be one of the countries with the least gun violence. But guess what! Those cities are gun free zones.
BTW, before you eat me alive because I am not citing where I got this data from, do your own research. I did mine a while ago, and no I did not save the websites (though I should have). But the internet is here for you, too. I don't have exclusive rights to the WWW.

Sunday, May 25, 2014

And I didn't speak up, for I am no racist

I'm not a racist. I'm actually against racism. I am also against sex before marriage.
But I can not be quiet when I see certain things. I am against punishing a racist bc of anything said in the privacy of a conversation with his girlfriend, recorded illegally. And I am against the arresting of a man for having sex with his wife when they were dating and she was underage.

Maybe you haven't heard of the guy who was arrested for statutory rape. It did happen. In a world in which every boyfriend and girlfriend have pre-marital sex, the married guy is going to jail for having had sex with his wife before they were married. They are married! The marriage is legal and had the consent of the girl's parents. But now we are going to arrest him for what they did in private before they were married ... There are greater sins than that going unpunished in Washington DC!

We have to have common sense , people. The world is turning upside down and we are entering the cute little dance.
We are acting as the Greeks who condemned to death one of the greatest philosophers of our history. Acting with herd mentality, without thinking, condemning all who have unpopular ideas . Nowadays all we need is for something to smell racist, to vaguely resemble racism, for people to be ostracized - banned from society.
So thoughts are now a crime? And private conversations are now a crime?
You must be thinking , "Sure, right, Vika ! Nobody likes racism, and racists must be punished no matter how. No?"
No. It's not like that. People should have the right to express their feelings in private, even if that feeling is spurious and unpopular. It is the principle of privacy that goes here, folks. The moment u nullify this principle, anything goes and everyone can be convicted of anything. Just imagine - the way public opinion is ever-changing, what happens if one thing that you said in your home is recorded by a loved one and brought to TV. Now you are in the wrong side of public opinion... heads will roll.
So instead of u find the maximum a filthy racist was punished for his spurious attitude, remember that it has much more at stake than our popular vengeance. Remember this poem :

First They Came....
by Martin Niemöller
In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

The nerd of today

This song from Brazil is very interesting:

"Today's nerd is tomorrow's rich guy
Today's nerd is tomorrow's gorgeous face
Today's nerd of today is tomorow's good husband"

Fact - not all nerds of today will go on to get rich, look gorgeous or be good husbands tomorrow, but they are those who have the most chances. Of course it takes more than just being a nerd - he has to have will power, perseverance and responsibility. But let's consider the odds of the other guys.

The guys who think they are awesome may even marry you and become fathers, but they will also have a bitch on every corner.

The guys who do not like to study and are not afraid of danger - the dare-devils that so impress young girls - they will either die young or end up in a little dead-end job, watching football over the weekend, with a six-pack of beer on their side.

Are you looking for a good future, honey? Try a nerd.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Finger healing process

A week before our AZ vacation I was sick with a cold or the flu or something. I was really sick, I had no voice and fever and the whole 9 yards.
So, I tried to take as much medication as I could, so I would not start my vacation sick as a dog. I ws drinking ginger and lemon tea, gargling with salt water, and taking fever reducing pills.
Well, here is where my problem started. Those damn pills. Have you ever tried taking a dayquil pill out of its pocket?
Those protective papers are so strong they seemed to be there to protect gold!
I tried opening the darn thing with my bare hands to no avail.
"Well,"I thought, "Fine. Let's see who's stronger here, stupid little thing." So I opened my kitchen drawer and grabbed a knife.
And I dug the knife into the pill pocket. I mean, I intended to dig the knife into the pill pocket. It slid on the pocket impenetrable protective paper and sliced my finger tip.

You know when you immediately realized you did something very - very stupid? hat was when I felt the blade burning through my skin. "You idiot!" That was my brain.

Hubby was right there on the other side of the kitchen doing something at the sink.

"Dean!!!" I screamed holding my finger in terror.

Not realizing the gravity of the situation, Dean, jokes, "What did you do?"

"Something really, really stupid."

I guess Dean figured out I had done something really really stupid when he saw me holding my finger with my eyes closed (afraid to see something very unpleasant), and the knife on the table.

So next thing you know, Dean is dropping everything on the floor on a desperate search for medicine - which I knew exactly where it was.

Meanwhile I had my finger under the running water. At this point I finally opened my eyes. Just to close them again after seeing blood gushing down my finger.

Well, it is all healed now. I took pictures through out the healing process, wondering if it would in fact ever heal. It did. But I will have a scar. A little story to tell my kids and grand kinds about how not to handle a knife.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

The pseudo-Christian society wants to marry

This blog is a continuation of last week's, when I started to question why adultery used to be considered a crime in my home country Brazil - an idea that has always seemed absurd to me.After having, with my limited legal knowledge, explained how I came to understand this question, I began to wonder why people want to commit this folly called marriage.Marriage has been extremely unfashionable for a while, and that is precisely because people did not want to get stuck by a paper - a contract.If u do not want to have to deal with the law in your sex life, do not subject yourself to it. Do not marry.If u 're marrying before civil law, you're marrying before the law of men - this law that decided to recognize a religious institution as having legal value and legal privileges. So if you want to put the hand in this mess, you are admitting before the law that will be entering into a monogamous sexual relationship. Do you not believe in monogamy? Your problem. Whether you're gay or straight (since today the law recognizes gay marriage), marriage is a leash. If you do not want to get stuck, why are you marrying?Nowadays free sex, outside of marriage, is still preached - as it was done in the 70s and 80s. But it seems that marriage fashionable again.I wonder why people still get married. If they want to have sex and or stop having sex at will, why do they want to enter into a civil contract that requires exclusiveness? Worse still, a civil contract which has religious origin, and religion is against the sexual permissiveness that are so dear to them? Why do people who are in favor of sexual  freedom want to enter a contract originated in an institution in which they do not believe?It's all a bit confusing in our post-Christian society, or pseudo-Christian. Even this schizophrenically secular-religious institution is confusing. It was considered outdated until the gay movement resolved to enter. Now marriage is the watchword. The people want to marry and have the right to adopt or rent tummies. Nobody remembers that the marriage contract comes with the privileges, but also with duties - including sexual exclusivity (which should indeed have come  with sexual abstinence before contract ) .

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Is adultery a crime?

In Brazil there was a time when that adultery was a crime. I am not familiar enough with American laws to know whether it is or it was ever a crime here in the US. However I always found this criminalization kind of absurd. Adultery is a sin, yes. But a crime? How can it be a crime that a person is sexually involved with another? Crime is stealing, killing... but having sex?
Whether I have sex or not, and with whom is a personal matter. ... Right? And sex only with a spouse is a religious issue. After all, it is the religion that dictates that people should only have sex with their legitimate spouse. Why then is the civil law, which is secular, worried about this matter?
It was then that I realized that civil law also cared about the legalization of marriage. So it all made sense. What made no sense was to want adultery not to be considered a crime.
Think with me:
Marriage in our society is a social contract, determined by the law of such society. So much so that we refer to this contract in Brazil as "civil marriage". You can even get married in a church - which we call "religious wedding" - but today, if you do not sign the legal marriage papers, your marriage has no legal value (although there was a time when the religious wedding itself had already Marital validity - do not know if that was changed to make the state more secular, but that's beside the point).
According to the civil law, when signing the marriage contract - made ​​before a judge and witnesses - the two contracting parties undertake the establishing, with one another, of certain relationships in an exclusive manner. This contract also entitles both parties with certain financial privileges, but only if the contractual obligations of exclusivity are maintained. Sexual intercourse is one of the exclusive relationships that the contracting parties have committed to establish.
The sex outside marriage therefore constitutes a breach of this contract. Thus, a party who entered into the contract out sexual relationship, has broken a civil law - which is a crime .
Well, maybe my legal vocabulary is a little muddled. I know there are different words for different degrees of breaking the law, and I do not know if crime is the correct word for a breach of contract. But the central idea is roughly this: that adultery is illegal because it constitutes a breach of a contract with legal value.
The current 6 o'clock novela in Brazil depicts the decades of 30 and 40, when Brazilian society, especially the feminist movement, questioned the law of adultery as being too hard on women. Women went to jail, men walked. So instead of asking for the same punishment for men, they fought to end the punishment all together. Why? Why not punish the breach of a contract by either party?
My interpretation is that people do not understand that by signing a civil contract before witnesses and a judge, they can not break it at will. Marriage is no longer a personal or religious thing when it is recognized by the law as a civil contract.

Sunday, April 13, 2014


Superman , Spider-man , Batman .... none of these superheroes will ever take the place of my favorite superhero - Indiana Jones .
He never needed super powers or a utility belt, and never even bothered to wear his underwear over tight pants.
All he needed was a sense of adventure, a degree in archeology, and cunning (not to confuse the derogatory sense of the word, I will add its synonym - wisdom, but not that of experienced people, which comes with years of life, but that which comes with studying and applying studies to real life).
Indy has never been a model human being as superheroes are. His relationship with his father (James Bond) was never very good, and the only permanent woman in his life complains that he took advantage of her naivety. He was just a normal guy with qualities and defects like any normal guy. You'd even think he was real.
Thanks to the Indiana Jones films, two of my favorite professions when asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" were "Archaeologist." and "Adventuress."
Little did I know that archeology had more to do with studying and teaching university that breaking with haunted forests and tombs and fighting against the Nazis.
Little did I know that adventure was not really a profession and that nobody wins salary to be adventurous. Adventurous people are either luckily rich, or absolutely broke.  

But who cares about these things before the age of 10?

Sunday, April 06, 2014

Every thought in your mind

What if someone could hear every thought in your mind? You know, everyone - including those you don't want to admit to yourself that are yours; those that make you embarrassed of actually admitting they have sprung from your mind. Those that make you not even recognize yourself as the person you think you are,  because they are so evil, selfish, stingy, cruel, and insensitive.

Can you imagine if someone you consider a friend could know every thought in your mind? Would you still have a friend?

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Everyone should have more sex

I really think everyone should have more sex.

I know, the sex issue is a taboo. But I have to say it. I think everyone should have more sex, because sex is so good. Why don't we encourage people to have more sex? It is healthy, it is good, and it is fun.
Instead we make it sound dirty, shameful and dangerous to your heart.

Do you know why? Because from a religious perspective (I say religious, bc I know it is not only Christianity that claims that sex is a right of married people), to have sex, people should be married. Why don't we encourage everyone to get married? Because if we encourage people to get married just so they can have sex, we might be encouraging irresponsible jump-in marriages which, in today's no-one-takes-responsibility-for-anything society, means we are encouraging the growth of divorce.

Well, if you are religious however, think with me - what is wrong with encouraging people to get married just so they can have sex? Isnt'it better than telling people to hold it and then risking them having sex out of wedlock, with one, two, three, 10, 20 people? Telling them to wait till they are 25 or till they have a PhD or a lamborghini sitting in their driveways is dangerous? Why? Because, I am sorry, but, asking someone on fire to wait 10 or 20 more years to put it out is a bit mean - they might just bot be able to hold it for that long.

Yes, society today makes divorce way too easy, but it is your responsibility to stay married. I think it is easier to stay married than to stay virgin.

God created sex, and the thing is good as h... wait, no, not hell. It is f-ing good, literally. God would not create something that good and have us wait halfway through our sexually mature days to use it. And if God created and God put the desire in us, it is only natural that it is so hard to resist.

Of course, I am not saying that so you can encourage your 15-year-old daughter to marry her dead-end loser  boyfriend just so they can have sex. That is not what I am talking about. Don't marry an idiot just because he is hot. I'm talking about meeting someone nice, and not waiting 10 or 15 years until you are both ready (finances, education, all that crap). I'm talking about getting married and getting busy. And also getting out of your parents' house, because they are not really interested in listening to your love-making every night and washing your bedding covered in that goo that comes out afterwards. I know I wouldn't be.

And if you are married, why in the world are you sitting here reading this post? This is why all these marriages end up in divorce - people are too busy doing things other than sex.

Come one, go on, get busy with the hot stuff that you married.
What are you still doing here? GO! NOW!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

My apologies, but Stop apologizing!

I am so tired of everyone apologizing for everything.

The latest thing I have seen was Steve Martin - a comedian - apologized for a racist comment when he joked about the spelling of a word depending on where in NYC one is (implying of course, a difference between black and Italian populations)

Someone wrote, "Is this how you spell lasonia?"
Martin replied, "It depends. Are you in an African-American neighborhood or at an Italian restaurant."

People got offended and he came out apologizing.
WEEK OF APOLOGIES - This Video shows it all.

Stop! Stop apologizing. Goodness gracious!

Don't apologize for a joke about stereotypes.

Don't apologize for a joke about Romney's grandchild either.

Now, yeah, if you make a joke about not getting aids for being white, and you work for an HR company, then your words are actually representing your company. In this case, I am afraid you might get rightfully fired.

But don't apologize for having more whites than blacks in your show (that was Jerry Seinfeld - and by the way, he didn't apologize. He made sure he pointed out this is not the census. I love Seinfeld!)

Stop apologizing, people.

If you are a comedian - it is your job to make fun of stereotypes. I don't like when they make jokes with Christians. I don't like it and I don't demand an apology. I just don't like it. I will wait for the next joke, something about Muslims or blondes.

If you're not a comedian, you still have the right speak your mind. And if people don't like it they, wil have to live with it.

But, if you write a poem slandering someone because of their expressing their opinion, then that is okay. Slandering people, calling people names, because you don't agree with their views, that is okay.

Uh, things are a little messed up here. Actually, slander is not covered by the freedom of speech amendment.

That guy from Duck Dinasty got hammered because he said a man's anus was not as good as a women's vagina. Yes, that is freedom of speech.
Also because he said that his Bible, from his religion (which is widely available to anyone in the US), says that homosexuals, people who commit bestiality, and others are going to hell. He didn't even make that up. It is not even his opinion. It's the religion he subscribes too. Last time I checked it was still free to subscribe to a religion in America.

He didn't even suggest we should do something bad to those people - which by the way is not covered by the freedom of speech amendment.

Come on, people. Let's wake up.

It's time everyone calms down and relax. People are entitled to their opinions, especially people that make a living poking fun at other people.

I really wish everyone would stop apologizing.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Irish time

A couple of times this winter I had the pleasure of having my husband home with me due to snow storms. His boss just told him to work from home that day.
Stay home on a snow day? If you're not a teacher that is kind of a big deal. The show must go on - with or without snow. The market can't stop.

It can't?

Why? Why can't we take it easy on a stormy day and stay home and take care of our driveways and not risk getting into an accident on the highway? Why can't we take it easy and close down on that day?
Oh, yes. That's right. It's because we will not make as much money.

Last year, when we were in Ireland we are majorly disturbed by the stores closing time. By five, six in the evening they were closing up for the day. On Sundays we saw almost nothing open.
True we were not on majorly touristy areas,  but we did go to a beach site, with souvenir stores and every thing.  It was a town called NewCastle. We were there on the day Price George was born. It was 5 pm and the sun shone bright in the sky.

and look at the stores:

No we didn't take that picture. That one is from google maps. Which is funny, because we took one that looks exactly like it. It took it at 5:30 in the afternoon, on a midsummer's day.

Yeah, wow. Those people sure don't care about making money. No wonder Ireland is so far behind America.

However - Really? Is making money really that much more important?

Those employers and employees are now free to go live their lives. They can go home to their families, spend time with their lovers, go watch the sunset at the beach, or even go do some studying  catch up on homework - instead of doing it at 2 am.

Do we really have to be the most succesful country on earth at the cost of spending extra hours with those we love?

One of the top 10 regrets of people at the end of their lives is "have worked to much". Do I want to wake up in my death bed someday and realize I spent most of my time going after something that didn't really matter? Something that didn't give me pleasure?

We only have one life to live. And so do the people we love. We control so many things, that we think we can control time. We will always have "later" and "some other day". No we won't. We don't know if we will wake up tomorrow. We don't know if we will ever see that special person again. We don't.

"We spend all of our lives dreaming, to wake up only at the end. And the truth was so different, and now there is no more time." (Racionais MCs)

Sunday, March 09, 2014

After we lose

They say we only realize how happy we were when we aren't anymore.
But does it have to be like this? Actually, no, it doesn't. We can live each day as if it were the happiest. We can think of every moment as the best one we've had. And we can view each opportunity to do something fun as maybe the last one we have to be happy.I guess the secret is to have those you love near you, and to love them back.
I guess even when we are hurting we can still do that.
My husband just recently lost his grandfather. It was a hard time for the whole family, and I would certainly not suggest that we go around laughing and singing. But they all came together to mourn, console and remember good times. Yes, it was a time to cry, because it was the end of a era - a happy one, and maybe didn't even know it. But each of them could find comfort in the fact that they had each other.
So, yes, I guess that was the end of a happy time, but a new one will start the next day. Life goes on, and opportunities to be happy will come around everyday, every moment. As long as we have those we love by our side, we can always be happier than what we were yesterday. I guess all we have to do is remember that today can be the happiest day of the rest of our lives - as long as we have those we love near us.

Sunday, March 02, 2014

- DIVORCE by Arnaldo Jabor

 - My friends who are divorced never cease to ask me how I managed to stay married 30 years to the same woman. Ever more evil,  women do not ask my wife how she manages to stay married to the same man, but how she manages to stay married to me. The ones asking the right questions are the youth. They want to know the secret to keeping a marriage for so long. Nobody teaches it in schools. I'm no expert in the field, as everyone knows, but that said, my answer is more or less the following:

Nowadays divorce is inevitable, you can not escape it. Nobody can stand living with the same person for the rest of one's life. I'm actually already on my third marriage - the only difference is that I am married three times to the same woman. My wife, if I'm not mistaken is in her fifth because she thought about picking up her bags more often than I have. The secret of marriage is not eternal harmony. After the inevitable turmoils, the solution is to ponder, calm down and start again with the same woman. The secret is to renew your marriage, and not seek new marriage.  

This requires some considerations that are forgotten in the day-to-day life as a couple. From time to time, it is necessary to renew the relationship. From time to time it is necessary to start dating again, go back to courting, seduce and be seduced. How long has it been you haven't gone dancing? How long haven't you tried to conquer your pair as a potential suitor? How long has it been you haven't gone on a honeymoon - a honeymoon without children eternally struggling to get your unrestricted attention? Not to mention the countless pounds which have been added to you after the wedding. Wife and husband lose 20lb in one month after being separated, why you can not achieve the same while together? Pretend this is your new affair. If it were a new marriage, you certainly would attend new and unknown places, move homes, renew your wardrobe, CDs, haircut, makeup. But all this can be done without you separating from your spouse. 

 Let's be honest: no one can stand the same woman and the same husband for thirty years with the same clothes, the same lipstick, the same friends, with the same jokes. Often it is not your wife who is getting boring and musty, it is you and your furniture with the same faded decor. If you divorce, you'd certainly change it all , which is just one of the pleasures of separation. Those who separate delight themselves with a new life, a new house, a new neighborhood, a new circle of friends.  

You don't need an ugly divorce to have it all. Just switch places and interests and do not get comfortable. This is obviously expensive and many marriages fall apart because the couple refuses to pay these small costs required to renewing a marriage. But if you separate, your new spouse will want young children, new furniture, new clothes and you still have the child support from a previous marriage.  

There is no such thing as "stable marriage" nor should it be desired. The world changes, and so do you, your husband, your wife, your neighborhood and your friends. The best strategy to save a marriage is not maintaining a "stable relationship", but knowing how to change along. Every spouse needs to evolve, learn, improve themselves, get involved in things that one would have never thought of doing in the beginning of marriage. You do it constantly at work, why not do it in one's own family? It's what your kids do since they came into the world. So discover the young woman or young man who lives by your side, instead of going around trying to find an interesting new match. I'm sure your children will have respect for your decision to stay together and learn the important lesson of how to grow and evolve together despite disagreements. Quarrels and turmoils will always occur: so occasionally you need to get married again, but try to do it always with the same match. You see, THERE IS NO MAGIC - THERE IS COMMITMENT , COMMITMENT AND WORK - this is what saves marriages and families." Source : Arnaldo Jabor Quotes .

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Politics is not something to be discussed

They convinced the sucker that politics is not to be discussed. And so the corrupts and crooks have taken over the government and stolen all his money, have made ​​absurd laws and ignored just laws, and left the sucker without a penny, in a country where no one wants to be a politician, because politician is synonymous with crook. 

Sucker indeed. Human beings are political beings for as long as they have resolved to live in society. The fate of the human being who does not discuss or is interested in politics is to be controlled by those who are interested. 

Politics should be discussed. Politics is to be lived. For politics you'll even die in the pursuit of a just society . If you do not discuss politics, you might even have a peaceful life without wants. But the kind of a peace of a slave, a peace without freedom or honor. Is it worth it? Ask a slave. Read some of the books written by those slaves who had the blessing to taste the uncertainties of freedom (cf. Frederick Douglass, Harriet Ann Jacobs). Is it worth placing your future and that of your children in the hands of another - another who might give you everything or might give you nothing, but who will always give you only what he wants?  Is it worth it so that you don't have to bother discussing how to build and maintain a just and free society?  

Politics is indeed to be discussed. It is a pain, it is boring, it is complicated, it is hard not to yell at those who think differently than you. It is all of that, but it is worth it. When you learn to debate, to respect the other's opinion, even if he doesn't change his opinion, it makes it easier. When you learn that people won't always take your side, but that you can still be friends after that, it makes it even easier. But even if you lose your friend - what do you prefer? Live as two friends in lies and slavery, or live both of you with that friendship, but free to determine your own future?

And I'd even say that political parties are important. I am not talking about partisanship, where parties become independent institutions determining the thoughts of its members. No. I am talking about parties that arise from differing views on a same specific subject, but who are willing to take on a legitimate discussion in the public arena - and may the best argument win. Parties should always exist because humans are different and think differently, and always will. But since subjects change, so should parties. Parties should not remain the same, but change as society's issues change. All sides should engage in honest discussion. 

It was thanks to politics that we have abolished slavery. Thanks to politics the countries of America proclaimed their independence. And thanks to politics much harm was done to our world - war, genocide, abusive taxes and redistribution of wealth. Evil was done when those who were against the evil fell silent under the excuse that politics is not discussed.

 Sorry if u are part of the group of suckers. Please do not forget - when you are persuaded that politics is not to be discussed, or that politics is for crooks, you are flouting centuries of evolution of human thought. Include in your contempt philosophers and great thinkers of ancient Greece, the Enlightenment, the great revolutions for self-government. You're throwing out the window all that our ancestors built so carefully . ... In hindsight , you really are a sucker. Do not be a sucker. For the love that you have for the wisdom that God gave mankind, do not be a sucker. Put your mind to do something worhy - make your life worth living in this brief passage of yours through human history .

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Homosexuality indeed. Why not?

I ask you, who call yourself a Christian, and is sitting there appalled with homosexuality being regarded as something praiseworthy - why not ?
Remember how many times you have been to the movies and hoped the good guy and the girl got together, even though she was married to another, or even though they both had built their relationship on illicit sex (fornication). Remember how many times u talked to your friends, those who had sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends, as if it were absolutely normal, and you wanted them to stay together without ever suggesting that they should be married to do what they were doing every night.
We've spent too much time dealing with sinful sexuality as if it were normal. You've accepted the mundane version of sexuality that is all based on feelings and that what matters is love.

That actually is not love - it's lust. But our society has decided to call lust for love, then you accept it as valid. Yes, all is worth it in the name of love. "May it not be immortal, since it is but a flame, may it be infinite while it lasts," says the poet. How beautiful, you say. What matters is love.
My friend (or brother, if you prefer), for a long time our society has treated sexuality as a toy, subject to sinful treats of the human beings. From sex outside marriage to homosexual practice it is but a leap - okay that is a complicated leap because it involves prejudice, but it is an obvious leap from the viewpoint of logic. And as we live in a post- Christian society, homosexuality wants to be legitimized through marriage. The homosexuality wants to be part of a society that values the ​​religious version of family. But this is not because the homosexual wants out of fornication and wants holy form of sex. It is just that our post- Christian society has become accustomed to values ​​and institutions like marriage. It's just that. There is nothing sacred or Christian in a homosexual marriage. As there is nothing Christian or sacred in a marriage between fornicators or adulterers.
When you friend got married pregnant and you thought she looked gorgeous with that belly showing, the problem was as serious as it is now. Once u open the door and kick morality out, anything goes. Homosexuality yes . Why not? And if that is not what you want, u will have to say no to a lot that you have been saying yes to for a long time.
Each of us - appalled at the current state of our "Christian" society - has a bit of guilt if we have held this behavior .
Sin is not - never was - something we exalt as beautiful. Sin is ugly. Be homosexuality, fornication or adultery. When we sin we should feel shame and repent, and fall prostrate at the feet of the Lord, instead of hitting our chest with pride to say that we did everything in the name of love. Every time we did that, or applauded whoever did it, we opened the door to what we have today. Homosexuality yes . Why not? God have mercy on us.

Sunday, February 09, 2014

Charlotte's Web - The movie

I like watching movies - I do.  But will I will never finish watching the movie version of Charlotte's Web. I really like Dakota Fanning. She is a cute little girl and talented child actress. I think the story is entertaining - not beautiful, but entertaining. I have seen the animated version of the story and liked it very much. And lastly, I do like to add more movies to my list. Even when I don't care about the story, I just let it play while I do something else to make sure I can say I have seen the movie.
I don't care much about the story of Charlotte's Web. I don't care for movies about talking animals, I don't like spiders, and I think the story gets hypocritical when it tries to protect a pig from getting to my table, but gives a spider the right to eat poor little flies! She says that's the way it is and she will keep doing it shamelessly!!!! Let's turn the spider into a vegetarian too, if we are trying to be fair. But I could put up with all this crap, she it was all in a cartoon format.
So, despite all of my reservations about the story and the fact that I really don't care for talking animals, I was willing to give this movie a shot and let it play in the back of my screen, just as I did to 101 Dalmatians, and other movies that have talking or super intelligent animals.
Why then have I not been able to finish watching Charlotte's Web? Well, you see, when Charlotte started coming down on the screen and I realized that the hero of the story was not just a cartoon spider, but a real life looking spider, I wanted to puke. Ihad to turn off the movie immediately  and forget all about it for my sanity's sake. It is one thing to see a disgusting spider turned into a cartoon, and I can take that. I can put up with the fact that she is a great spider who has a lot to teach a fearful talking pig. I can put up a cartoon talking pig as well, even though Babe made me sick to my stomach. But I can put up with a real life spider turned hero. Same reason why I couldn't bring myself to watch Shrek. He is a freaking ogre, people!!! Anyway, I did not and I will not watch Charlotte's Web the movie. No thank you. If you must torture me in the future, you already know which way to go. but I beg you, please, don't.