Yes it's true. There was a time when I really wanted children. What happened? I found I could travel and see different places with the fruits of my labor.
There was a time when I made plans to have 5 or 6. Later 3 or 4. But during this time I also planned on getting married soon after college, and on having children two years later.
The saying goes that if you want to make God laugh, make plans.
The plan to marry after college did not happen, because I had no boyfriend. Understanding why that happened is not something I should concern myself with. Not anymore.
I met the man who would become my husband right after the date I had planned for the children.
Do you know what happens to plans of life that go unfulfilled? Life must leave them behind. For we, human beings, are versatile and know that keeping on living and making lemonade with our lemons is more important than chasing thwarted sweets and plans.
So I made my lemonade. And in the meantime learned that the hard work and the savings that I believed to be the way to secure the future of my unborn children, could be invested in me. I learned that with my hard work, with the sweat of my brow, I could see new places, places seen on TV, or just dreams. I found out that there was a world out there that I would have never know, nor have I bothered to learn about, had the children come according to my plans.
Gee! Boy! Did I like that lemonade. I liked that lemonade more the sweets I had planned in life.
When the lemonade is too good, the sweets lose their throne. They gains status of "perhaps", "if there's time" ... Sweets is a thing thing for spoiled children. Lemonade is for grownups, decided people who came, saw and conquered.
My lemonade was achieved with hard work. I have no intention of leaving it behind. Not now. Not yet.