First day in Hanover, NH

June 23^rd, 2015, Hanover, NH

I am finally in my bedroom. This was an insanely hectic day. I’m not going to shower, I don’t care what my conscience says. I am not leaving this room anymore, to go anywhere. ... Well, maybe if someone yells, "Paul McCartney is out here!" I will jump out the window (and hopefully fall right on top of him).

Last night I went to bed at 1 am, getting stuff read for the ESL potluck at school. This morning I was up at 5 am, rolling bread and banking … and thinking, “students better think this is the best meal of their lives or I will collapse right there in the classroom.”

My HS students loved it, and so did the people we invited. Our principal and vice-principal didn’t have a chance to show up. That's too bad, since one of them is retiring - I was really hoping she'd have a chance to eat our yummy foods. But other teachers at our floor did show up for at least a quick bite, and some did stay longer, and they ate all of it.

Then I hopped in the car to NH. It took me exactly 2 hours to get up here. And it took me another hour to figure out where to go. Then another hour to find parking.

At the entrance of the office building I met John Rassias himself. Wow. The man responsible for this whole mega structure, the man who revolutionized language teaching in the Peace Corps ... Yup I met him.

Later on, for dinner, Mr.Rassias sat at my table. It was fun and exciting meeting the man behind all of this. He is very friendly and full of energy – for someone in his 70s, that says a lot. I want to be like him when I am his age.

And I have been meeting new people ever since. I just accidentally got a ride from the son of my old mentor, Joel Goldfield, who is supposed to arrive tomorrow. I wonder if he still remembers me.

Now that I am wearing my pregnant outfits, it is quite obvious to people that I am carrying a little person in here. It is both fun and annoying. I understand everyone is sort of looking out for me, but I really wish everyone wouldn’t be so worried. I’m fine. Really. I am fine. Yes, I mean it. Just, oh, stop asking. I am perfect.

But they did send me to bed, and I did what they said because I am exhausted.

I also met Ceci, my Assistant Teacher. She is a very fun and sweet young lady who goes to the same college where I started my Masters Degree. Her family is all from Rio.

I am freaking out a bit bc I haven’t seen my book yet, and I know the drills that come with it aren’t good. 

Do you know what June 18 is?

Thursday was an interesting day. For those who know me, I use the word interesting very freely; I use it for lack of a better – clearer – understanding of what I really feel about something.

Well, let’s start with “it was Paul McCartney’s birthday”. And I, along with millions (maybe billions) of other fans, took it to twitter to say happy birthday. I used to do fancy birthday wishes in the hopes that mine got retweeted by @PaulMcCartney. Apparently I am not the most creative person out there. But yes, my day is pretty much Paul center on June 18^th. Out of every ten words that cross my mind on every June 18^th, eleven are PaulMcCartney (yes, one word), and that night I usually dream about him as well. 

I am just thankful my hubby isn’t jealous of Paul. Why would he anyway? The guy is 73, and I am, well, 21. They guy is ubber famous and I am, let’s say, not.

And yes, I know I am slightly crazy (okay, maybe a little bit over-the-edge crazy), but shut up. Whoever isn’t slightly crazy about something throw the first stone. So, yes, shut it. You know exactly what I am talking about.

Okay, day goes on. It is a regular work day. Slaves go to work on regular work day, and so do I – and glad I have work to go to. And even though Paulie was everything I could think about, I did do my job. I have to say I forgot my lunch at home, but I did my job.

blood work

After 2 years of procrastination I finally got my bloodwork done. ( It wasn't really procrastination - my insurance doesn't cover bloodwork before deductible; so I was really looking for the guts to pay for it) . Doc told me I was supposed to be fasting for 14 hours. Well, ok, trying to do that was another challenge. Then I toughened up and, after 14 hours of sheer torture, the nurse proceeded to remove all 4 liters of blood from my body - well, it darn well looked like 4 liters. And they expect me to drive home without passing out? Well... I did! There! In your face. Made it home safe and sound.

Easter message

Jesus wasn't a good man as everyone thinks. He went around claiming to be God. If what he said isn't true, he is a megalomaniac.

Let's all be civil

if you want to criticize something, do it because you don't agree with that something. Do it because you believe you have something better. And do it respectfully. If you are criticizing just because you are trying to promote an agenda, exalt a group, or put down another group, I'd rather you kept your mouth shut. It's counterproductive and contentious and it takes no one nowhere. Don't make fun of people who disagree with you. Don't diminish people who disagree with you. Don't try to discredit people who disagree with you by making it sound as if they only disagree with you because they have an agenda or because they are stupid. People believe one way or another because they are humans with working brains like you, and are trying to make sense of the world just like you. Human beings like and deserve to be treated as such. Worst case scenario we can all learn each other's position and agree to disagree. In the end, either we learn to live together, or we will die alone.

Two bad products on the same day?

So last week I was super excited. I had ordered an Atari console with 92 games, and a license plate frame with a Brazilian and an American flag.
They both arrived on the same day. They were both huge disappointments.

The license plate had a Jamaican flag.

The Atari games only had one phase and most games I like were not there.

Well, I returned the Atari console right away. Five minutes since the game was out of the box it was packaged up again and ready to go.

The license plate, I didn't want a refund. It was a nice metal frame, I wanted it. I sent the seller an email requiring a replacement. It turns out it is a sticker and they will send me the Brazilian sticker flag.

too many cultural differences

Sometimes I wonder if ESL teachers don't exaggerate on the cultural differences between Americans and other cultures.

Yes, when I came to America I took a class on American culture as part of my training as an au pair. However sometimes I hear teachers (Foreign and Americans alike) emphasizing aspects of the American cultures that even the Americans don't seem to know it exists.

"Unless there is something wrong with me, this is how I act on a regular basis," I was told by an American friend of mine when I mentioned a supposedly no-no in American culture, but standard in Puerto-Rican culture. This particular friend of mine is of Scottish-Irish ancestry.

Now, honestly, friends, let's talk about American culture. America has 50 states.

Heck, Brazil has 26 states and we have several different Brazilian cultures. So talking about Brazilian culture has to be either a very short set of general guidelines that defines the majority of the Brazilian population across the states, or it will be a very prejudiced or elitist (only this group of Brazilians determine which one is the Brazilian culture) definition of the Brazilian culture.

The same goes for the US. 50 states. 5 official regions. How can we define American culture without either giving very few and general guidelines or without being extremely elitist to the point of saying that these people here in this area are the true representatives of American culture, and everyone else is just not doing it right?

50 states, 5 regions, about 20 different ancestries which came from different economic and religious sects of their original countries. Each of these categories make a different culture.

The American culture is a mix and match of all these. It takes quite a bit of effort to find so many definite American cultural traits. Yes, they exist, mas they are not as many as one would like to believe they are.

We are more the same than we are different.

A month later ... I pledge somersaults. No, wait.

Well, A month later, after going through the coldest February on record (which means it hasn't been this cold for at least 100+ years), after having pretty much every Monday off (which was a blessing at first, bc my husband got to stay home as well, but later it turned out to be a curse because I was pretty cabin-fevered), I have to say that I am about done with snow.

Did your chin drop? Well, I can't say I think it's ugly. I can't say I don't like it. It's still beautiful. And everytime it snows, my heart still jumps a little bit, like a little girl excited that she hears daddy's voice as he arrives home from work.

But I just want it to go away already. Enough is enough.

My dad used to say that too little of something is insufficient, too much of something is excessive.

It's not that I don't like the snow. It's that the snow won't melt! It won't melt! It won't friggin melt!

Aaaaargh!

I feel like I am stuck in a never-ending winter. Feel like I will never be able to feel the heat of the sun again.

Negative temperatures are never a good thing. Negative temperatures in Fahrenheit is definitely never a good thing. Negative temperatures in Fahrenheit and for several days, weeks in a row is absolutely never (ever, in anyone's wildest nightmare) a good thing.

It has been a long cold winter and I am so ready to pack up my things and move back to Brazil.

Suddenly Here Comes the Sun had become my favorite Beatles song. It used to be one of my least favorites, above only freaks like All You Need is Love, Within You Without You, and Hey Jude (no, Hey Jude is not that great, no matter what you say).

So, now it has been in the 40s during the day for a couple of days. I am praying with all my heart that it goes higher a little bit everyday and that it stays that way until we reach the 70s.

I pledge that on the first sunny, windless, 70-degree day, I will go outside and bask. And the only reason why I don't say I will do somersaults is because I absolutely don't know how to.

Snow

Now it's trending. Everyone trashing snow, saying how much they hate snow, that they are done with winter.
Quite honestly, I hate winter. I hate it with all my heart. The deadly cold. The wind that cuts right through your soul. The dreadful black ice. Do you want a cranky Vika? Check her out in the winter time.
But snow? No, I don't complain about snow. I always say that if I have to go through this awful weather, you better give me something beautiful to look at. If I have to be cold, let it be in a winter wonderland.
So let it snow, beautiful white snow, until spring comes.
At least I don't feel like I am stuck in a giant freezer, where all life has ceased to exist. Quite the opposite, now I feel like I am simply in a land where everything is blanketed in a white yummy frosting, and sprinkled with confectioner's sugar.

afraid of death?

I suppose it might sound strange for a Christian to say that she is afraid of dying.
So I guess I need to clarify.
I like being alive. That's how God made me.

What am I really afraid of?
I'm not sure whether I am afraid of dying or of getting old. Maybe neither.

I am afraid of time maybe. I guess I am afraid of the fact that our time is so short, and I don't want to waste it. In my mind I still feel like I am 14. Sometimes I even feel like I am less smart than most 14-year-olds, but then again, when have I have been smarter than anyone over 14? I feel like I will be 84 and still feel the same way. If I get to be 84.

I am afraid of what I don't know. They say we are afraid of the unknown. Well, I don't know what it's like to die, but I suppose there is a lot of pain involved.

I am afraid of pain. You have no idea. I have very little tolerance for pain. I am not sure why I was born a woman, since women supposedly have more tolerance for pain. I have always been a chicken. I was afraid of getting my first period, because I was told I would bleed. I was afraid sex would hurt, and that terrified me, because if there was one thing I really wanted when I was a virgin was to have sex. I am terrified of the day I find out I am pregnant because that baby will have to come out somehow.

So it's the ailments that scare me. That ailments of life.
Most of us will die of cancer, heart disease or some freaky accident.

When I was a kid I always thought I could die of some freaky accident - like falling down the elevator shaft or shot on a bus robbery. But why stop there? Car accidents, kitchen accidents (I did almost cut my finger off with a knife last year), slippery bath tub accidents (yes, I look at the bath tub and all I see are ways I could get myself badly hurt; that's why I keep the bathtub so squeaky clean), fire accidents.

Not only accidents. I have been paying more attention to how people die. Cancer kills a lot of people. Then there is heart disease. A young couple died of a heart attack the first time they had sex. So now I don't think only of freaky accidents, I also think cancer and heart disease. Then there is food poison and medical errors.

All of these mean one thing - pain. I watch a TV show called Bones, and they make very vivid descriptions of what happens to the body when people die in freaky ways. They all sound painful.

Then there is the ailments of old age. I had a teacher who used to say, if you don't die at a young age, old age will do it. Aging also does things to your body. And there you go thinking you're 14, next thing you know you've got Alzheimer's, or dementia, or something freaky like that.

What happens to our bodies when we die? What do we feel? Do we have time to regret all the things we didn't do?

Boys respected Girls

There was a time a boy or a man changed his behavior before a girl or a woman.

Men have always used swear words, but in front of a lady, they did not.

Men have always used vulgar language to talk about sex, but in front of a lady, they did not.

Men have always gotten drunk and fought each other, but in front of a lady, they did not.

Men were always illbehaved, but in front of a lady, they knew to behave properly.

Today, who even realizes there is a woman in the group? In fact, even women talk dirty and use vulgar language to talk about sex. They get drunk, fight and are illbehaved.

That is, even women nowadays do not respect themselves... ... Today? Today is euphemism, because when I was a teenager it was already so. I miss the teenage days of my mom.

New Year's Resolutions - What for?

New Year's resolutions are really stupid. You make a list of things you know won't get done. If you really wanted to change something you wouldn't wait until New Year's day to start it, you'd start as soon as you realize there is something that needs to be done about it.

We are insignificant.

"We are insignificant. No matter how much you plan your life, at any time everything might change." (“Somos insignificantes. Por mais que você programe sua vida, a qualquer momento tudo pode mudar.”) ―Ayrton Senna

Frases - http://kdfrases.com

This year it has been 20 years since the awful death of our dear Ayrton Senna - the rich Brazilian kid who was not ashamed  of being one of us. He raised our flag, he brought up our national pride when there was very little to be proud of. He was an honorable man. He was 34.

Just 2 weeks ago a tragic airplane explosion killed a presidential candidate in Brazil. A father. A husband. A healthy man with an honored past and a promising future in politics. He was 49.

Earlier this year a heart attack took the life of a healthy actor we all loved Zé Wilker. Yes, he was 69, but active and healthy.

Even earlier Shirley Temple died without even being sick. She was 85.

They all left us just like that.

I can never add to my life another minute. No matter how healthy I am, I can't guarantee I will live to see the next day.

We, as human beings, worry so much about terminal cancer patients. We know they are dying so we want them to have their last wishes. But aren't we all dying? Aren't we all putting off our last wishes? 

Why don't I live as if my life could end at any moment? The cemetery is full of people who thought the world couldn't live without them. The world goes on, and we all leave it eventually - we just know when.

I don't know when. I don't want to live as if I did. I don't know if I will live till tonight. I don't want to  act as if I did.

I want to be happy and enjoy every little thing I do right now. Plan for the future, yes. But live for today.

I don't want to postpone my dreams.  No more "next year", unless "next year" be a sine qua non.

I don't want to say to my husband, "it's too late, let's do it tomorrow." No, let's do it tonight.

I don't want to prevent myself from doing something good to someone because "it can be done tomorrow".

I want to make a difference in people's lives by showing them how much they mean to me - today. I want to say and do things to make them happy and safe.

I want to say I love you to all those I love, and I not say anything to hurt those I don't care about.

Not a minute in my life is guaranteed. I don't want to live as if it were. We only go through the race track once. Let's do it for real.The time is now. The day is today. Tomorrow everything might change.

Water downhill

"Water downhill, Fire uphill, and woman in love ... can't be held back." I think this is an old saying in Brazil. First time I heard it was in a Globo TV series. So true.

Mr. and Mrs. Penny Pincher

Last Saturday Dean and I went for a drive to an antique store. It was my compromise so that he would go bike riding with me.

It was a lovely sunny day and I really wanted to go bike riding. But I wasn't the only one who realized the day was lovely. Every 2 blocks there was a tag sale.

Dean and I joked about it, and I started asking him questions about tag sales.

When I realized he had no idea how to prepare a tag sale, I had to come to the conclusion: "You've never done a tag sale in your life, have you?"

"Not really."

Oh, that's right. I had forgotten I was talking to Dean Winters.

Dean never gives anything away. He uses it until it breaks. When it breaks, he fixes it and uses it again. When it breaks again, he fixes it once more, and uses it until it breaks again. And he fixes it one more time, and uses it until it crumbles into a million pieces. That's when he will shop for a used replacement.

Oh, dear ...

...that's why I married him.

Try correctig an ESL student

I understand how ESL students feel when they have their pronunciation corrected. Their reaction drives me crazy,though.

Here's the drill:

They say a word wrong.

I try to figure out what the heck they are saying.

When I figure it out and repeat it to them - hoping they will repeat it back to me - all they say is "yes."

I repeat the word, cuing them to repeat it after me.

And they say - Yes.

And in my mind I go, "Heavens help me."

I say, "You're supposed to repeat it."

They look at me with a blank stare.

I repeat the word once more, and signal to them with my hand,  "Now You".

And they go, "yes."

I collapse.

Bhutanese Rice

Last week my students and I traveled to Plymouth. The best part of the trip was lunch time.

We had lunch at the Monument to the Forefathers. It was a nice place for a picnic. Students sat on the shade, on the sun, on the tree branches. We had fun.
But this was not the best part. The best part was what they made me do.

The drama queen of the group, a girl from Puerto Rico - I called her Drama Queen, and she said "not me", but later she wrote a poem called "I am a Drama Queen" - well, she was walking around with the Russian girls holding a plate of Nepali spicy rice (or Bhutanese spicy rice).

The Bhutanese rice is something the Bhutanese kids make every time wehave lunch together. It is really spicy. They tend to share it with everyone.

The Puerto Rican girl was eating a sample, but was less than excited about it.
I didn't know she wasn't into it. I was super excited. "Ooh! You have Nepali rice!!! May I have a bite?"

"Yes."

I was worried when she said yes, bc it sounded as if she didn't want to share. And to make things worse, I didn't have a spork. Darn. She will be angry.

"Well, do you mind if I use your spork? I don't have anything."

"Actually do you want the whole thing?"

"Do you not want me to use your spork? I can find one for me."

"No. I don't want it. it's too spicy."

"WHAT!!! Give it to me, woman!"

"You're gonna eat it?"

"Heck, yeah!"

Than this little Ukranian girl challenges me, "Eat the red pepper. Eat the red pepper."

This is a tiny little Ukranian girl, who always wears her long hair in a braid. She is the cutest little thing. So picture this little thing jumping in front of you saying, "Eat the red pepper."
 
And I say, "Hm, okay. I actually will eat all the hot peppers in this plate in one bite in front of you if you go down to the bus and bring me a box of milk." (yes, milk - I knew what I was getting myself into, and I knew I would NEED milk)

"Are you for real?" Asks wide-eyed Little Ukranian girl.

"I'm tellin' ya. Go get me a box of milk."

There goes Little Ukranian girl down to the bus and back with a chocolate milk in less than 30 seconds - I could swear it was less than 30 seconds. How do kids do certain things so fast is beyond my comprehension. It's all about motivation.

"Here. Now eat the peppers."

I pick all the peppers from the plate put them all on the spork, and shove them into my mouth right in front of them all.

Okay - here is what happens when you bite a red hot chilli pepper - nothing ... a first. It's when the thing starts spreading in your mouth and down your throat that things get ugly.

So I waited a few seconds. And so did everyone else. When I finally felt the burning, I asked Little Ukranian Girl, trying not to lose my mind, "Milk. Quick."

She hands me a closed carton of milk.

"No, girl. Open it. I have no hands. Oh. My eyes. They are watering already. Quick."

She opens it, and as she opens it, another Ukranian girl is pointing at me screaming, "Mrs. Winters is crying!"

I shove the milk down in one gulp. Wow. No use. It is still burning pretty bad.

Me to Little Ukranian girl, this time, "Quick! Go get me another milk!"

And as she hurries down, laughing her pants off, I'm whining, "Two cartons of milk! There goes my diet down the drain!"

After I chug down the second carton of milk, I proceed to finish the rice - the amazement of the Ukranian and Puerto Rican children.

"You're going to eat the rest of it?"

"Of course, people! I'm Brazilian! Spicy is my middle name."

My mission in life: Chocolate NGO

So last night I came across this sad video:

I can not believe there are people in this world who have never tasted chocolate.
This is so sad and awful.
I believe I found my mission in life:
I must take chocolate to every person in this planet. no one should have to go through life without chocolate.
I must start up a non-governmental organization to take chocolate to all the peoples of the earth.
Who will join me in this effort?

I'm an immigrant

And when I say I'm an immigrant I mean I moved.
I don't mean I hate my home country, my language, my name,  my accent, my history, my traditions, my pride.
I didn't intend or and I have not signed a contract saying that I would leave any of the above behind (in my heart) in order to embrace those of my new country instead.
The first immigrants to this country didn't leave their traditions behind, did they? I'm talking about the Mayflower pilgrims.

Their home country was evil to them. Their home country had become dangerous to them. They fled  because they saw no other way out. They had to leave the only place they loved, because that place had become hostile to them.

However, you can take the person out of his land, but you can't take the land out of the person. They came and they brought their country with them.

They named their new country New England, New York, New Jersey, New Britain. They brought their religion, their games, their clothes, their tradition, their history. They even kept their names, instead of adapting them to the local native languages.

They learned new things from the native people, but they didn't leave their culture behind.
And that was okay. Right? We honor those men today.


So why would you, child of those first immigrants, expect us, the new immigrants, to hate or want to do away with our culture? Our language, our accent, our history, our food, our traditions, and even  change our name?

As much as our country might have pushed us away, nothing it did will necessarily make us leave what we are behind, or make us stop loving it.

Why can't we, the new immigrants, simply add to our culture the culture of our new land? And add to the culture of our new land our culture? Why would you expect us to replace one for the other?

Are you jealous because you think you only have one?

Cell phone at the wedding

Recently I saw a video on Facebook that u might have seen too.

Bride and groom in the middle of their wedding. The priest there, talking about God and marriage, when the bride looks down, pulls a cell from her boobs, reads the message, puts the phone back in her boobs, and continues to look the priest.

Groom is still there - looking like a  total idiot.

Many people commented on that post. Everyone found it absurd.

But here I was thinking to myself - this video was made up. There is so much made-up stuff on Facebook? It is so easy to make these things up. Especially when the video camera is tightly focused on the bride and groom - only on them.

Think with me. What kind of a woman is this? On her big day (the wedding) all dressed in white (the dream of every girl's childhood). Marriage happens only once in life. Could it be that a woman dressed as a bride would do such an idiocy, on camera, as to bring out a cell from within her boobs?

Well, here we are - back from vacation. Missed weeks of my birthday and my vacation, but now I'm back - on this awful final game of the world cup that I do not want to watch.