Child of famous people

Sad thing. A death so sudden for a life so young.

Bad thing. Cars running in the dead of night, lights out, through a tunnel banned. Suspected race. Suspected hit and run

Fatal error. The skater victim was also violating the prohibition of access for pedestrians and skaters.

Perplexity. Before the reality of death, does it make a difference whether the victim was walking on banned site? The dead would not have been victimized had he not disregarded the rules. The killer killed because he disregarded the rules.

To each according to the crime? The victim received improper punishment - life itself. Riding on banned site is not a sin of death. The criminal infringed a traffic law. Accident caused by a violation is intentional crime. Intent to kill is configured at the time the traffic rule is broken.

Yes, the survivor, once simply called irresponsible driver, now a criminal, will have to pay for the crime.

Would the same crime, however, have had that much attention had not the victim been the child famous people?

Ironic

I find it ironic that the country whose flag I fought for the right to wear in my own country - out of sheer sympathy - now prevents me from flying my own country's flag at my own house - out of much more than sympathy, for what one feels for one's own country goes beyond sympathy.

I'm not and I have never claimed to want to be American, but I was willing to have their flag spread out on my chest, simply to say "I'm on your side on this battle." But I will always be Brazilian, and if my flag can't be flown at my own house house, no other flag will. I will honor no place that does not allow me to honor my own.

And how will I ever face my family again? When any one of them questions how come a Brazilian flies an American flag at her house while her Brazilian flag is no where to be seen - what am I to say? This is not a house I happen to be living in - it is my own house. I could definitely say I fly it out of respect. But at the expense of my own?

How can I justify flying any other flag at the expense of my own? Has my country turned its back on me? Have I fled here for fear of persecution or extreme hardship? Am I ashamed of who I am or where I am from? The answer to all of these questions is a resounding No! I have all reasons to be proud of who I am and where I am from. Far from being perfect, Brazil never gave me a reason to deny it.

Out of respect for the country I live in I will fly their flag, but not at the expense of my own. Out of respect for my country, other flag will not stand at my own house if I am not given the right to fly my own.

Maybe this should be a lesson learned - never fight battles that are not your own. The ones you fight for give you no guarantee they will fight yours when you need them.

We travel together

The story of us, if someday be told, must be told as the story of our travels.
My husband and I have in common, among very few other things, the love for traveling to new places. One thing that I have that he does not is the love for planning, and perfecting the plan until it's fool-proofed.
I think the first trip we took together was to NYC. I do not remember why. We had been dating for less than a month.

Howe Caverns happened while we were still dating. He had promised to take me there many times before. We finally did it. The way back was probably more fun than the whole trip because some bus driver pushed us out of the toll booth, and we spent a few minutes driving him crazy by not letting him pass us at 45 miles an hour.

The next long trip we took was to Gordon College, Nick's Famous Roastbeef and Boston. After that trip I realized I needed to do planning. I saw Boston, but I had not a clue of where anything I had seen was. I was letting Dean show me around and Dean, unlike me, has a very intuitive way of going about his trip. He finds things as he goes and does not bother going into extended explanations of how we got here and where we go from here.

That was not satisfactory to me. Where he felt freedom I felt lost. I had not a single idea of where I was and how to get home. I could never survive having so little control over my itinerary.
Things were about to change.

To Epcot for Independence day fireworks

Ok, to Epcot! Directions set. We're good to go. I was surprised at how easy it was driving there (except for my mistakenly sending my husband in the wrong direction - as usual I never lay out the map's compass points according to the real life compass points).

I was also surprised at how easy it was parking and getting to the park gate. Everything was so organized!

Finally I saw it - the Epcot ball. I had not the slightest idea of what to expect from the ride in there, but I knew what I was looking at. The silver colored AT&T ball was staring at me right in the face and saying "you really are here! just as you planned for months - you're here! that's it! It can't get any better!" Well, it could. And it did.

I was so impatient. I had to take my picture before we even went in.

Dean had already been there. Not in the summer time. He was surprised at how empty the place was. He hardly waited in line compared to what he had experienced before.

Now, Brazilians! Lots of them! They walked in packs! Wearing the same travel agency shirts, with a travel guide going ahead of them with a travel agency flag! Every where we looked there they were! Being loud and speaking my good old Portuguese. Teenagers in its majority. It's a big to do for teens in Brazil to visit Disney in their winter vacation. We began calling those colored-shirt groups "THE BRAZILIAN INVASION!"

My biggest fear while planning the trip was to not know what to do once I got there. For weeks prior I had haunted my husband with a park map and the question - "let's choose our rides?" Once I started that fear almost disappeared. We looked at the park map, picked the rides we wanted to go on the spot and drafted a very primitive route for that first day. Since we were really there for the fireworks, we were more worried about walking around and hitting rides as we went.

And even at that relaxed pace we hit almost every ride we chose.

Epcot has to sections - Future World and World Show case. We hit future world first. Dean wanted me to see some rides he already knew, and I was not sure to what extent I should be doing every little thing that was available to be done. So we did waste some precious time with useless rides and games.
We did World Showcase second because it was toward the end of the park. Even though we were not worried about hitting every ride, we did went into the Canada and the Mexican rides. And we ate sauerkraut in Germany.
Again, we were only there for the 4th of July fireworks. Unfortunately the time for the fire works was not posted anywhere. More time wasted just sitting there waiting for it. Had we known it would have been another 90 minutes till the event, we'd have done much more.

Finally they started. We saw them from Norway. The first part really was not 4th of July. It was their regular thing. Beautiful I must say, but I was feeling kind of disappointed because the website did say 4th of July fireworks. After the regular presentation though, they announced the 4th of July celebration and fireworks started to the sound of patriotic songs.

I'm not an American, but my husband is. And I wanted to make his 4th of July as patriotic as possible. It did work. We could go back home now. We would be back again in 3 days.

4th of July travel

We left home on Sunday, very early in the morning. We had to wake up at 3 to leave home by 4 so we could be at the airport by 7.
Surprise, surprise! We did not leave home at 4, but at 4:16.
So we could not make it on the time frame we had established for ourselves. What else is new?
Oh and how I really want to murder my husband when I tell him I want to be in bed by sunset so we actually get hours of sleep before we have to get up at ungodly hours to catch a plane. He does not take me seriously! He does nothing to help my request come true.
I would have felt so much better getting up at 3 am had I gone to bed by 9 pm the night before instead of at 11:30.
Whine.
But we did make it, as tired as I could ever be, we made it to the airport, we made it to the airplane, we made it to the car rental place, we made it to the motel.
On the way to the airport Dean showed me the forecast. What? Thunderstorms? In Florida? For the whole week? That does not sound fair. I want a refund!
Nothing to worry, says Dean. It's common to have forecasts like these. It's probably a 30% chance of rainstorms. In less than 48 hours I would be yelling at him to shut up because everytime he opened his mouth to say it could not get worse... IT DID!

It the beginning of a glorious 4th of July. We were in Orlando, Florida!
A couple of days before I went online to check out independence day fireworks. I had gotten this awesome 5 tickets for the price of 3 for Disney Parks, which meant that we had to find to extra days to use those tickets. I did not think it would happen, but the deal wouldn't hurt anyone. After all we really just wanted 3 days at Disney, and 2 at Universal. By the end of my vacation I was glad I did get the deal. Things would not have been as fun.
Having 5 for the price of three meant we could go hang out at Disney on the very same day we arrived, and still have one extra ticket just for ha-has. That meant we did not have to go looking for fireworks in Orlando, we could go straight to the park.
And that's how come I ended up in the Disney website, a couple of days before our trip, trying to find out if they would have independence day special fireworks.
Epcot came up on my search, so it was settled. We were going to Epcot on Independence Sunday.

On the way to Orlando I could only talk about our trip to... England??? Yes, call me crazy, I was already planning our next vacation, and super excited about it, but the current vacation hadn't even started yet. Half way through the trip I figured I'd better put England on hold and start getting into Orlando. After all I could not ruin the trip to the land of dreams, just because I was excited about my freakish never-ending planning mania.

We got to an Orlando of cloudy cloudy skies. But oh so hot and oh so humid.

We got there with directions, prices and fees, toll roads and non-toll roads all planned out thanks to my freakish never-ending, always aiming for perfection planning mania. Unfortunately that does not prevent mishaps from happening. And we did yell at each in the car. Nope. not a novelty either, but an event that I intend to rid ourselves from. If only I had planned it a little bit more.

The motel, just as we saw on the internet, had a waffle house for a neighbor. We walked over there for lunch. Waffle House is Dean's favorite ever restaurant, so the picture of the motel right next to it heavily influenced my decision.
Oh, and I then discovered that even though it was past lunch time I could order breakfast food!!!! That is awesome.

packed full

I intended to blog about each of my days in Orlando. Unfortunately that did not work. The reason was very simple, I was a human leftover by the end of the day.

Each day we would wake up at 7:30 expecting to leave the house at 8:30, which did not always happen.

Each day we would walk and stand in line, and walk and stand in line for the whole day, except for the time we were eating and actually on some ride. We did not give up on the fun until the day was done, that is, at around 10 or 11 pm. That means that by the time we got back to the motel I really had not more energy for anythign other than a hot shower and bed.

I was hoping my husband would give me a foot massage, because my feet were so sore. But he on the other hand was hoping I would give him a back massage. No one's expectations were fulfilled because the other person was just about done with the day.

But each minute was worth it all. The sore feet, the few hours of sleep, the unfulfilled expectations... even the rain that soaked us on Monday as we desperately tried to get one more ride out of the day.

And the lack of live blogging does not mean our vacation will go untold.

I brought home every map and pictures of the places we've been too. Listening to my husband describing the vacation to his parents has also given me more insight of what to write.

Oh, yes, days like these must be registered, each and every one of them, their emotions, their surprises, their disappointments...

They're coming soon to a blog near you.

This also must pass...

As it happens to all things, this vacation also must pass. That was the sentence in my mind all the way home.

Being in Disney was a dream. A dream I had never dreamed of as a child, but a dream nonetheless. Was I in the same place I had seen on TV so many times? Was I really in the place where only well-off Brazilian kids get to go when they turn 15?

Then Universal Studios and the world of Harry Potter as its main attraction. Really I was there, in Hogwarts, the place I had never really cared about, where the little wizard guy I never really cared much about learned his tricks, was now the place I did not want to leave ever again. It was like living a dream.

I did not want those days to end. And they were such long days that indeed they seemed as if they would never end.Thursday night however reminded me that my last day in the land of dreams was coming. One more day, and this too must pass.

I made it a point of enjoying every minute of my last day, so that the thought would not cross my mind until I was done.

And from 8:30 am till 12 am, I was livin' it! As we entered the tram to drive back to the parking lot of the last park - Disney's Magic Kingdom - I then realized it was over. Back to old lives, back to reality. The moment we returned the rental car and entered that airport; the moment we did the check-in; the moment we went through security and entered the boarding area. Each moment felt like the buzzing of the alarm clock, calling me back to the life I really lead. The life made up of responsibilities, housecleaning, homework, paychecks.

What keeps me going through this old real life? Well, there's that guy who goes with me in every dream - my husband, he does not go away in the end. There's that person who has been with me forever and graciously allows me dreams-come-true experiences, my God. And there's the fact that I am always planning my next dream-come-true experience.

Other than that I'd be a liar if said real life is bad. Real life really is not bad, it's just filled with grown-up responsibilities, dead-lines, and hard work that must be done whether or not I feel like it.

Dreams allow me to do exactly what I want, and they are all about the fun. Real life tells me either I do certain things that are not fun at specific times and with a specific intensity, or fun will never be possible again.

Real life is the back stage of dreams - it must be there, but it does not look as glamorous.

Each world cup has a mark

Each world cup enters history with a nickname, something it has been its most impressive characteristic, either good or bad, and that is usually reflected in the final game, that which decides the world champion.

In the U.S. 1994, for instance, the cup in which Brazil consecrated itself as the first ever 4-times champion, the world cup was known for its lack of effective soccer and of goals. So much that the gran-finale was decided in penalty kicks and the move that made Brazil champion was an anti-goal - Toto Schilacci, Italy's greatest hero, on the "Jesus vs. Buddha duel", kicked the ball out. Taffarel, the Brazilian goalie, had to do nothing but run for the hug of victory.

I was a child then. I had never seen my country, the country of soccer, win a world cup. For me, it was about time. It was celebrated just as my mom before me celebrated the bi-championship, and my grandma before her celebrated the first championship, and both of them celebrated the tri-championship. It was my turn! I was finally able to enter full Brazilian-hood by celebrating the tetra-world-championship.

But it was a sad victory nonetheless. On the day after I was faced with the sad reality spread out on news papers and TV: Brazil won indeed, legitimately, but we were really celebrating the victory of an ugly soccer. Not the beauty that had won the first 3 championships of my parents, not the beauty of the "lost generation of the 70's and 80's". We had won playing a new type of soccer, bred during the 90's, that was strictly made for winning games, without much concern for entertaining the fans or humiliating the adversary; without much concern for scoring as many goals as possible. The only thing wanted was to "get the darn job done."

France 1998, a new type of world cup - the sell-out. Brazil went all the way to the finals, to lose to the hosts... in a weird way. A very weird way indeed, that led to lawsuits and the likes. That world cup was the sole responsible for my falling out of love with soccer. A very bitter experience indeed, because up until that point soccer was directly linked to my brazilianhood. Being Brazilian meant being in love with soccer. I had to rediscover what it meant to say "I'm Brazilian." I was living in the U.S. then, which made things just a little bit more complicated. How do you try to figure out what it means to belong to a country living in another one?

Do I know what the two following world cups were famous for? Not a clue. I was too busy trying to figure out how to feel about the whole deal.

I do not know what Japan/South Korea 2002 was marked by. I was not a soccer lover then. But Brazil did take that one, giving my little brother the same status I once achieved - that of feeling fully Brazilian. I was happy for him. But I did not know how to feel about it myself.

In Germany 2006 I was in America again. And part of me wanted to follow it, and part of me wanted Brazil to win. But part of me also did not want to get hurt again. And it did. France. The same team that had defeated my homeland 8 years before. Undefeated had we gone for 8 years, leading millions to believe we could believe again, just to lose for the same team that had last defeated us. Nope, greater humiliation could not exist.

By then I was dating a guy who enjoyed soccer and that slowly led me into believing I could follow it again. Not with childish blind love anymore. I was a grown-up then. I could enjoy soccer and Brazilian-hood as a grown Brazilian woman - not too passionate, not indifferent either. Just with something irrational telling me Brazil will always be the best, and Argentina will always be the evil that must be stopped from ever winning another world cup.

Finally then, you ask, what has South Africa 2010 been marked by? something good or something bad?

Something bad. Something really bad. Africa 2010 has been stained by bad referee performance. Bad calls on game sequences, poor decisions on discipline management.

Has the final been stained by such? You bet it has. Players should have gotten red cards and be kicked out of the game, but were not. Players who faked injuries were rewarded not only on this game but in every other during the tournament.

The game was boring. Not because no one scored for 117 minutes, but because no one played soccer for 120 minutes!

The sequence that gave the Spaniards the goal to the championship was born from a bad call - the ref simply did not give the Dutch the corner kick they deserved. He gave ball possession to Spain who went ahead and scored.

Could the end result have been different had the ref given Holland their corner kick? We will now never know. There is no "what-if" in history. There is only "what-it-is". Good or Bad, it is what it is.

Disney and the future of my plans

Next Sunday is July 4. That day we are heading to Orlando, Florida.

There will spend three days at Disney and two days at Universal. I can not wait. The trip is all planned out. I hope it comes out okay. The Bible does say that we must say "if God wills, not only will we live, but we'll also do this or that."

I'm a big time planner. I love to plan. I could get paid to do just that forever.

So I need to keep in mind that God is the one that will make plans come true - or not. If he wills, not only will he give me another day, another year of life, but he will also allow me to follow through with my plans.

God is in control. I must never forget that.

Since this Monday I'm officially on vacation. I spent the day at the computer planning our next trip. Next year, to England. I had also included 2 days in Paris. Then I put two more days to visit castles and go on the French Riviera.

I came to the conclusion that such plan would not work for a reason - England is in Britain. Britain also includes Scotland and Ireland (and Wales too, but we have no interest in it).

England is the land of Robin Hood, King Arthur, it has Oxford, it has the castles of the royalty. London has so many museums and monuments, Liverpool has the Beatles. There is also Stonehenge and Bath (city with Roman bath houses). We can not leave out the stopping for fish and chips, traditional English dish.

Scotland has the Loch Ness and the highlands landscapes, scenes of Harry Potter, a haunted castle (and many other beautiful castles), malt whisky distilleries ... And we can not leave out the fried Mars bar, apparently a Scottish staple.

And in Ireland ... - I do not know yet what's in Ireland, but Dean wants to go to a traditional Irish Pub.

And after all his ancestors are Scottish, Irish and English. He owes it to himself to go there and get to know the place.

So if we go to England, how to not tour the UK's other countries but instead take a rushed tour of France?

Why not leave France for another tour in which she will dedicate to 6 or 7 days? 6 days in France, eight days in Italy, seven days in Greece - a trip of three weeks ... is of good size.

God is still in control. And as the saying goes "The future belongs to God."

ancient writing

Last week I had to proctor 6th graders English exam. At one point I just stood in front of the class and watched. Everyone seemed to be working on an open response question, all the pens were moving. Then the thought hit it - "How long till handwriting is considered ancient history?"

No, really. How long till people look back in history and say, "Children used to be taught how to handwrite?!?! Impressive!!!!"

How long till handwriting becomes unrecognizable squiggles on a page, like hieroglyphs are to us?

How long?

How long till opening a dictionary is not longer thought of when trying to find out the spelling of a word? I still think of it, but hardly ever do it. I just type the word as best as I can and let self-correction red-mark it in case it's wrong. When It is wrong, they give me a list of possibilities... I just have to pick the right one and my spelling problem is solved.

But how long until people no longer understand that we used to also be able do that using dictionaries? How long until they ask, "Did people have to go all the way up to a shelf and pull out a heavy bulky book and look for a word?"

How long until paper books is something that will only be found in museums. How long till people say, "Can you imagine all that paper around the house!" "Can you imagine not being able to find a word or phrase immediately, and just having to mark every page with little color piece of paper!"(they won't know the word post-its).

Oh, I believe these days are coming. Not soon, not for any of us alive today to see. But I think we will be part of an ancient civilization someday - if Jesus doesn't return before that - a civilization known for the use of ink and paper. And the environmentalists will have to find something other than cutting-trees-for-paper-production problem to solve.

The only thing we know for sure

The only thing we can know for sure in life is that death is coming. Sooner, later, painless or painful, it is the only thing we can be certain of - every one that lives must die some day.

That's a humbling wondrous truth.

Aflac

I have not yet come to a conclusion of whether or not to get aflac.

but I have come to a conclusion of what plans I definetely will not get.

disability plan is for those first 3 months in which regular disability does not kick in, but you still remain without a paycheck, says the aflac guy. And he goes on to ask us how many of us can't wait for the next paycheck? what would happen if we had to go without a paycheck for the next 3 months?

To me the answer is simple, very simple - our savings would suffer. Because my husband and I make a point of putting money aside for savings every paycheck, we know that we could go a few months without income, because our savings would take care of us ad our bills.

Aflac disability plan seems to me a great idea for anyone who lives to the most of their financial abilities. Anyone with credit card debt, any one who uses every penny of their paycheck every week.

It's not smart for people who choose to live below it in order to save or the future like we do. We are already doing aflac's job for ourselves.

Not up for discussion

Growing up I always heard the "very wise" saying - "Soccer, politics and religion are not up for discussion."
The idea is that those things are very personal and no one has the right to tell someone else what to think about it, no one has the right to tell someone else they are wrong, no one has the right to tell someone else they should consider changing their mind. Those three areas of a person's life are holy sanctuaries that must remain individual and untouched by the rest of the world - alienated if you will forgive me the Marxist word. Each person has their own opinions and no one should tell him/her that they are wrong. Because after all there is no right or wrong on these three areas. There are only opinions. And in the end they affect no one else for good or for worse.
Right?
I beg to differ. Yes, you can argue that most of the beliefs we hold are personal, but you can not argue that they must remain untouched by the rest of the world. You can not argue that they affect no one else. You can not say that there are no consequences to my opinions.
So can we really throw politics, religion and soccer in the same bag of sanctuary fields that must remain untouched by the world? Are these 3 things the same thing?
Let me start with soccer.
Soccer - as sacred to any Brazilian as the superbowl is to any American. Can we tell people that they should change teams? Does the fact that your team wins or loses has an ever lasting effect on your well-being? Not really, not to any mentally healthy human. The nature of sports is to be a win-lose event. The side you choose to take is completely arbitrary, and it really does not matter in the end, because teams will win and teams will lose at any given time for any given reason. Soccer is about passion - rational or irrational. And it is about recreation and fun. Sides in soccer, as in any sport, are necessary.
You can maybe convince a person who hates losing that he should consider choosing a stronger team. But in the end - what's the point? No team is ever invincible.
You can however argue of the fairness of a game; over whether or not new rules should be added. These will have long lasting consequences to how the game is to be played so that things get done right. Oops, I guess I am not in the politics field.
So ok, let's go to the next word:
Politics - Can I tell people that their political views are wrong and that they should change them? Does the fact that a political move or trend gets put into place make any long lasting difference in people's lives? Oh, yes it does. The world is made up of politics. It might not be easy to tell best practices from bad practices. It might be hard to tell which moves will have better or worse consequences. But since when difficulty of interpretation is a reason for anyone to quit trying to understand things that will affect their lives? Since when difficulty of interpretation is a reason to say we should stop trying to figure this out and let it be - when what happens because of that will affect the way we live? The fate of those who don't care if to be controlled by those who do. It's your choice to make - you can choose not to argue - but decisions will be made and you will have to live with its consequences.
So yes, politics can and should be up for discussion. It's normal to have differing points of view, and they must all be legitimate - but choosing such points of view is not arbitrary. They have reasons that back them up, ideologies, historical backgrounds, and projections for the future. All of these are things that can be measured and evaluated. Politics must be up for discussion, because politics influences our lives in very real ways.

Religion is one area that people who don't have will say it's just like soccer. Some people who have a religion will also say it really does not matter. You can't tell people which one is right or wrong, better or worse. The major issue here is that choosing are religion seems like an arbitrary decision, just like choosing a soccer team. Not so much like choosing a political side, in which one must ponder ideologies, history and projections for the future. The reason why this confusion happens is that religion is based on faith. And faith is often confused with irrational preference. However anyone who takes religion seriously knows that what you believe about the spiritual world affects the way you live in the material world. religion is not so much about how its consequences affect the world, but more about how it affects the individual who holds that faith. But it still deals with serious long lasting, I dare say ever lasting consequences. To me a Christian, being told I can't talk to another person about my religion is like being told not to tell anyone about the map to El Dorado I just found. It will change your life! I must tell you about it! You may choose not to believe it, but you will be passing on the chance of a lifetime. No, it's more than that. To me a Christian, being told religion is not something that must be up for discussion is like being told not tell people that they are in jail, but that I have found a way to escape. Yes, I can escape alone. But why would I want to do that? I do know that every religion deals with getting man back in touch with the spiritual world. Religion is about the spiritual world, a world we don't see our touch or smell, but that is very real. You can choose to ignore it, but it still is a reality. You can choose not to make decisions, but that means someone else will make them for you. You might not harm anyone with your decisions but yourself, but you must be willing to take that chance. So religion must be discussed.

Out of all three fields, only soccer is really irrelevant enough to fit the category of things that are not up to discussion, and only when it has to do with personal preference for a team. So much for popular wisdom.
Let's bring politics and religion back to the place the deserve - subjects that matter, and that must be "up for discussion", regardless of whether or not we all get to a consensus on them.

going to the beach is a fact of life - life taking a shower

I could never enjoy the sun as much as I do now if I did not have to deal with the winter for so long.
In Brazil, more specifically in Salvador da Bahia we are spoiled. We have sun and warth all year long. We hop on the car and run to the beach 52 Saturdays a year - those of us who are not church people do it 52 Sundays a year as well.
Going to the beach is not a special event like going on vacation. It is a matter of fact event like taking a shower or eating lunch. It's a fact of life.

Then I moved to New England. And for months out of the year I can't even put on shorts and flip-flops. I never thought anyone could survive in such a situation. I never thought anyone, let alone my always cold self, coud endure such low temperatures and for so long.

It turns out I can. And if I can anyone can.

But now I value the sun much more than before. Now when I open my mouth to say "What a beautiful day!" the words are the same, but the meaning is different:

What a beautiful day! (I must enjoy every minute of it before it is taken from me and it will be another 8 months before I can have it again!!!

instead of

What a beautiful day! Maybe I can go to the beach.... nah, maybe next week.

those who do and those who don't

"The fate of those who don't like politics is to be controlled but those who do." - I don't know who said that for the first time, but my high school teachers hammered that idea into my head. If you don't care about politics, people that care will get involved and they will make the decisions for you. If you don't get involved, someone else will - and they will make the decisions for you. Will you like those decisions? Who knows! the fact of the matter, however, is that decisions will be made, by someone, whether you like it o

panis et circenses

I was just on the phone with grandma. She wondered if people here in America were going home in the middle of the day to watch the World Cup games.
No, they are not. Neither do I have the right to go home to watch Brazil play.
I have a hard time getting used to the fact that the whole country does not come to a halt because of the World Cup games.
My whole life it has always been like that - every four years, banks, grocery stores, bus services, schools - everything that can be stopped stops for four hours (enough time for people to get home, watch the game and then go back to work), during every single Brazilian game in the World Cup.
Do I have a hard time getting used to the idea that the world cup is not a national event? Heck I do! It does not even seem real that anyone would consider not halting the country for 4 hours. t does not seem real.
But do I think this practice is worthy of a respectable country? No. I don't think any respectable country should halt all of its activities because of a sports event. The rational part of me does not believe that any country who takes itself seriously should voluntarily desert its streets, lock themselves inside theirs houses and forget there's anything else in the world that's worth anything for a month, just so they can cheer for Brazil in the World Cup.
Unfortunately, our politicians know that nothing else but soccer will make it to the news during that time, so, like children left alone in the house, they play at will will our precious assets. The best example ever of the Roman poet's panis et circenses (bread and circus). Keep the people busy with other thins than what really matters.
yes, it feels weird, it just does not feel real that any country can be living their lives as if nothing was really going on during the world cup. But rationally speaking, it feels right.

the cat

her name is Bianca. But we really only say her name when someone inquires about it.
usually her name is Kitty, Cat, or just plain Retard.
yes, and that is not because we are mad at her. It's because we have been convinced by every other thing that she does that she is, to use politically correct and school acceptable vocabulary, a cat with special needs, a cat that is mentally challenged. We have come to grips with the fact that she will never be normal.
I should start a blog only about the crazy things the cat does. but so much of it is visual.
she's a mix of siamese and calico, which already gives her a very intersting look, and accoridng to peopel that understand cats, a very interesting personality.
I know nothing of cats personalities. I know they are not dogs! They have a mind of their own.
As for our cat...
She runs around like crazy. She jumps up at the least sign of noise or movement - someday she will die of heart attack.

She whines and meows for no apparent reason - oh, other than "if you guys will make noises non-stop, so will I". Does she think she can talk?

She licks herself obsessively.

She sits in front of the air vent and stares at it as the cold air blows. She sits in front of the lazy-suzan everyday awaiting for a mouse that is no longer there.

She jumps on top of my husband at will, and without asking for permission she walks all over him.

She must meow when we are talking and she must sit when we are all sitting, and she must lay down when we are all laying down. She must bite my husband - only my husband - when her litter is full, her water is empty, and her food is getting low. - Does she think he is her faithful servant?

She ... oh that stupid idiotic cat ... she must get herself out the door, or inside cabinets everytime doors are open, even though she knows she will get locked in (or out) and that she will enter a complete stage of despair as soon as that happens!!!

She must do things that get her in toruble ove and over again. Why????

She has an obsession for twisties and coffee stirrers. She steals them right off your cup if your eyes are fixed on the TV long enough.

MY question as I look at her and watch her go about leading her crazy life as if we were merely part of the furniture is - what goes on in her mind.

The phrase "a penny for your thoughts" never meant so much to me. A penny? Heck, I'd give up a whole paycheck. I'd love to know what goes on in her mind - does she think? what does she think? in what language? does she deal with consequences? how? Sometimes I think consequences are not part of her thinking process. SHe only understands a consequence is coming when she already acted.

Example - we get home and see a chewed up cable. She sees that we see the cable. She halts. We turn to look at her. She hides.

If for one day I could be a cat. If for one day I could be in her brain. Just to know how she thinks - or of she thinks. Or, if she does think, does she think about the fact that she thinks? No, that would make her rational.

scribbling

Humility is not thinking less Of yourself. It is thinking of yourself less.

My favorite person and I - My love is a special person

Men react negatively to what they don't understand.

The word millennium is not in the Bible. But neither is the word trinity - so that is not a good argument to use when discussing the Millennium.

"How do you know it's from God?" "Oh you just know it." That's not my faith - my faith is grounded on something, but faith is based on the Bible and it is reasonable - as paradoxical as this might sound.

The holy spirit doesn't want us to talk about him, it wants us to talk about Christ - that's why he wad sent.

The fire of God's holy wrath.

a disclaimer for the constitution

The Constitution of the United States is sold with a disclaimer?
I am unaware of any situation in which the magna carta of a nation, while valid or not, is sold with a disclaimer to caution parents against the ideas contained in it.

http://www.620wtmj.com/shows/charliesykes/95943194.html

Hate speech

Jews, go back to Poland and Germany - this land belongs to the palestines.

Ok, then let's see:

Jews, go back to the Palestine, this land belongs to the Germans. - This was the feeling in Nazi Germany.

Blacks, go back to Africa, this land belongs to the American colonists.

Italians, Irish, go back to your home countries, this land belongs to Americans who came in the Mayflower only.

Americans, go back to Europe, this land here belongs to the North-American Indians.

Americans, get out of Texas, this land belongs to Mexico.

Latin-Americans, go back to Spain and Portugal, this land belongs to the Central and South-American Indians.

You can send anyone back anywhere you want - it is not going to work. No one can go back home, when home has ceased to be home generations ago. The Nazis succeed in their campaign against granting the Jews the right to call their Reich dominions home, and how well did that end. Are we really going to go down this road?

What about illegal immigrants? If you send Jews back to Poland and Germany, should you send illegals back to Mexico and wherever as well?

I'm pro-LEGAL immigration. But something tells me, the people who want jews to go back to Poland and Germany don't mind illegal border crossing in the U.S. - Am I right?

Influenza

So I had this Brazilian lit in college that was so against the word influence that it was even pathetic.

You must never say that writer A was influenced my writer B. That's an offensive thing to say!

So, pretty much we had to figure out what words to use when we were analyzing literature.

Check out the name they give it to the flu in English - Influzenza! That means influence is something bad.

I am not sure a college professor could say anything more ignorant than that. We were just teenagers and we knew that she was messed up. Needless to say she was the same professor who accused me of blindly copying my favorite poem from some random book at my grandma's library just so I could meet the assignment.

No one your age could possibly like this poem!

How could someone like that even get a job at a higher level education institution? Why did I even bother replying to that absurd remark? I guess I was trying to defend my honor... Picking a random poem when I received specific instruction to pick my favorite poem? How hard is it to pick a favorite poem for someone who takes Brazilian Lit as an elective? Really!

So Influenza has that name because it is a bad thing - because influence, any influence is bad.
I should probably not consider the fact that she was also a feminist. And I don't have a problem with feminism in certain aspects, but most feminists I know take their ideas to extremes that make no sense.

Never say a woman has been influenced by a man!

Ok, ok. I won't. I won't say anything you don't want me to in your class. Just give me my grade! Had I known it would have been so hard, I'd have chosen a nutrition class instead.

At least now that I live among normal people, I can talk about being influenced by this or that. Even the book I'm reading for my writing class states that influence is not only ok, it is a GOOD thing - we learn to write from writers, says the author. We learn their craft and their text structures and use them in our own writing. Writing is individual, but not unique is the point the writer makes in one of the first pages of the book. So true. And so freeing. Everyone is influenced by someone else, or something else. Always. In everything we do.

Sometimes to just gotta listen to adults

I wrote this down on my phone, but now I don't remember who said it. I think it is a quote from one of my novelas.
I watch my Brazilian novelas to keep in touch with my language. But I also do it because They are fun to watch and keeps me in touch with a general feeling of home. It makes me remember the life I had - in a different world.
As much as coming to America was my own choice, I can't help missing my old life. As much as this country gives me a lifestyle worthy only of the rich people in Brazil, I can't help missing the way I lived before. It was much tougher, and much scarier. It provided me with less hopes for the future, it provided me with less reasons to believe in success or in decency or in morals, but I am what I am today because of it. As far as as a system of values in my country is discredited my many, there are many who fight back, and I learned to be who I am because of them. How could I ever have dreamed of coming to a country like America, if no one in Brazil had taught me to value the values of this country?
Besides no culture is perfect, and I believe that being bicultural makes me a better person - I don't ever want to forget who I am. NO culture is perfect, and being able to look at both Brazilian and American cultures as an outsider gives me an advantage. That's why I don't ever want to forget who I am, or where I came from.
I know my children will be just influenced by my Brazilian culture. They will probably not feel like outsiders as much. After all, they will be fully American, born and raised. And their children even less, perhaps they will not even be able to speak my language. Who knows. Maybe they will love languages as much as I do. But maybe, America will be a greater country because of my influence.

Sometimes to just gotta listen to adults - part 2

I just did not talk about what I wanted the first time around. I got side tracked with the whole "cultural experience" and Brazilian supremacy idea.
I was thinking about the idea of listening to adults. Sometimes you just gotta listen to adults and take their word for it, even if you don't understand what they say.
That was the character's idea. Adults just know things - they just know things that we don't. And the reason why they know things is because they have been around and they have seen things. The world has not changed so much that truth is no longer truth, and human nature is no longer human nature. The world has not changed so much that problems among people are no longer the same.
Adults have been around long enough to know that. So sometimes, instead of thinking we - the young people - have to re-invent the wheel because mom just don't understand things, or dad is just too old to know how things work, we should remember that they have been in our shoes just a couple of years before. They have seen the situation through our eyes once. Eyes that could only see one side of the story until it all unfolded. Now they know the mysteries. Now they know everything they didn't. They know what other people were thinking. They know how that mess ended. They know who got in trouble and who didn't - and they might even know why. They have been to the future and gotten insight from it. We, our lives, are their past. And they are the ones who can tell us what happened in the future.
So yes, sometimes, we just gotta listen to adults, even if things they say don't make any sense to us. Sometimes we just gotta trust they know more than we do.

I learned at the hospital

I learned at the hospital how I like and how I don't like to be treated by people who know things that are important to me.
I learned at the Glenn Beck studio how I like and how I don't like to be treated by people who are in charge of talking when I have something to say.
I learned at Sunday School how I like and how I don't to learn about a topic that is complex.
I learn from people everywhere I go how I can be a better teacher. Because every time I find myself in a position that is under someone else's authority regarding my learning and my expressing what I know I put myself in my students' shoes. And I think how great it is when someone treats me a certain way. And how depressing it is when someone treats me in another way.
When my doctor bothered to stop by at a time that was not even in his scheduled to address a concern some nurse mentioned to him - that showed me cared about my questions. It made me feel safe. I want my students to feel safe like that too.
When Glenn Beck asked us to raise our hands and speak up, and he actually listened to those of us with hands in the air, even after the show was over, that made me feel like I mattered, even in the middle of so many people. His eyes, his body language, his reaction, sometimes his reply - everything conveyed the message "I'm really listening". I want my students to have the same feeling that what they have to say matters, even if they are only one in a crowd.
When my Sunday school teachers take the time to prepare hand-outs, where I can write down my notes and follow their teaching outline, I felt like I could not get lost in the class, and even if I missed part of it, I could have a general idea of what was taught in my absence. I want my students to feel that they can follow the class too.

So I feel like I am always learning to be a better teacher, just by observing how I like the types of interactions I have with people.

one of those "I hate poor"

If anyone has anything against this marriage...

I do! I thought I was at a senator's daughter's wedding, but I might have walked into the wrong church! Because you guys are all poor!

Sir, do you have anything to say against our marriage?

Of course I do!!! Just by looking at the two of you I can tell you are poor! Why do poor people want to get married? To make more poor children, so more poor people are born into this world? That's why this race will never become extinct!

God said blessed are the poor, for they will inherit heaven!

Great! then die and go to heave to take your inheritance! Let us rich people take care of the earth. Why should I care about heaven! There's gotta be a place better than heaven for rich people - is there?

Sir, we are poor and we are proud of it!

Lie! Lie! Proud! You hate being poor! You think I don't know! I know it because I was poor once! Today I'm a senator, and do you think I care about the people? Do you think I'm one of those stupid ones who think care about the country? I want it all in my pocket! In my pocket!!

Demi Lovato

Every time I hear the children mentioning some idolized actor/singer, I try to find out who the person is. I just hate not knowing who are the people in the media.

So I was trying to figure out who on earth was Demi Lovato, who is enjoying some fame in Brazil.

Best place to find out about these people - youtube.

Then I found out why Demi Lovato is so adored by teenagers - her music is about teenage love. Argh! I do not miss those feelings, I do not! "Did I mean any thing to you?" "Did you ever cared about my feelings?" "Did you ever even realized I was here?" My goodness how glad I am to be married and not having to worry about whether or not my words, my feelings, my eyes, my voice make any difference to that person.

Anyway, I don't care why the girls in Brazil are so crazy about Demi Lovato. What I think is really cool is that this obsession with these American stars, and their hopes that they will be able to talk to them someday motivates them to learn English. And I love seeing children motivated to learn languages.

Was I so naive?

Was I just so naive to think that our friendship could have survived the test of time? Was I just stupid enough to believe that she's actually normal?
It's upsetting to think that the friendship to which I wrote so many poems as a teenager is not as invincible as once thought.
Do I think I am perfect? No! Of course not!
Do I have some extent of ADD? Probably. I do get distracted fairly easily. And I do tend to multitask incessantly and almost obsessively.
But have I ever been careless about our friendship?! Who?! Me?! I don't think so.
I never listen without interrupting, she says. I never listen without interrupting? I have been accused of not listening attentively my whole entire life. And then I decided to stop and think through every time I have been accused of not listening properly.
Usually the following scenarios:
a) She's pouring her heart out to me right after church, when all my friends, including the guy I am trying to impress are coming out of the sanctuary. So I'm not listening to her bc I am too busy trying to talk to everyone else. Well, maybe, and just maybe, the time for confidentiality is not quite right.
b) We are spending time together, each one of us with a number of things we each want to share. She gets to do the whole talking - about herself and myself, for about 2 hours. So I eventually stop listening, bc I am tired of not having a chance to say anything I need to say. How many times have I gotten back home after spending a day together, feeling that I just served as a shoulder to cry, and no one really cared to find out about my own feelings. "Friendship is a two-way road," she says. Maybe she should take her own advice. Just maybe.
From day one when our friendship began, I was always the crying-shoulder. It was always about her pouring her feelings out, or should I say dumping her feelings out on me.

All through our entire lives it's been like that. She talks, and talks, and talks. And when she's done, she'd talk some more. She was never really done talking. She'd talk even when it was my turn to do the talking. On MY WEDDING PREP. Did she ever even bother to hear what I wanted to do? No. Of course not! She had to talk it through - and determine how I should want my wedding to be.
"Of course I am upset that you have to teach!Why did you say 'hello' if you had no time to talk?"
No surprise she is upset! She is upset that I am not there to hear her cries. Because, really, this is the first person ever to tell me she's upset because I say hello when I have no time to chat!!!!
This is just ridiculous. No, not just annoying - ridiculous!
You know, maybe, and just maybe, she's just really upset with the fact that her engagement is over. Maybe, and just maybe, she's saying that because she really does not know what to do, or who to blame for having lost all the hope she had built up of building a life together with that man. Maybe she does not really mean the things she said.
So I will wait. I will wait and not say anything anymore so things don't get any worse. When she is ready, if she is ever ready, she will talk to me as if nothing had ever happened.
If she is never ready, than maybe our friendship was never really worth that much to start with. And I was really just so naive to think that time, distance, and men could never destroy what we had together.

Saint John's - a national party

Gilberto Gil, one of the most famous musicians in Brazil, is preparing a record with only Saint John's songs.

Saint John is a national party, he said. A national party indeed. A Catholic country like Brazil has Christmas, Easter to celebrate Jesus's life and death, but it also has all the saints holidays, and Saint John's, with it delicious food and rhythms, is a national favorite.

Schools hold Saint John's parties, children sign up for food, and practice the special dances for a couple of months before the big day. Coloring bonfires, painting your teeth black, sewing non-matching patches in jeans pants and dresses, wearing straw hats and speaking with a draw. And yes, playing with firecrackers! Oh, and the food! The food! The food! Those of us who are not Roman Catholic can choose to participate or not in the religious mass, and even in the festivities - some people in my church did believe a holiday dedicated to John should not be observed at all. But it is our individual choice to refrain, and the whole world does not have to bend to us.

Why is it ok to celebrate religious holidays in Brazil, even for those of us who do not subscribe to the Roman Catholic faith, but it is such a big deal in America to celebrate their own religious holidays and even now their national holidays? However, children get punished for wearing their own flag on the day of a MEXICAN holiday!!!!!

The more I live in the country of freedom, the less free I think we are in here. It is not ok to talk about religion almost anywhere. Religion is offensive. Usually the majority's religion is offensive. So the majority of the people, who subscribe to some type of Christian religion, is not free to express their religiosity in their own country.

That's so frustrating actually. Anything that has the smell of Christianity is banned from school. As a teacher I am always stepping on eggs - can I say this word? Can I talk about this theme? Can I tell the children the girl's soul went to heaven? Should I even be asking this questions? Should I have to ask myself whether or not I can talk to people about their most common beliefs? Should I even have to ask myself whether or not I should talk to people about uncommon beliefs?

Didn't the first European settlers came here looking for a country where no one could tell them they could not express their religion? No one could prevent them from expressing their beliefs?How far have we fallen from that ideal?

We now live in country where one must think twice before he opens his mouth to say anything concerning the spiritual world. A country in which common celebrations are being banned from common places more and more frequently. Christmas at school? Easter at school? God's name at school? Bible at school? Everything is offensive. Everything is bad. Bad? oh, yes, a religion that talks about love and salvation from sin... something has gone terribly wrong with the country of freedom I learned to admire back in Brazil.

Until the finale of LOST

I fell cheated out of my time. For six years, six years!!! For six years of my life I watched and waited anxiously for the following week, for the following season, for the next new episode. Ok, not six years, since I watched the whole first season in one weekend. FIVE years of my life! For five years of my life I watched and waited anxiously for the next episode. Trying to solve mysteries, answer new questions, link them to the old ones, weave the whole story together to figure out where they were, why they were there, who were the good guys really.
Now you tell me it is all about relationships???
NO!
Not saying that relationships are not important. They are. The way that those people brought us into their present and past lives made us feel like we knew them. And we cared about them and worried about them, and we cried with them and cheered with them. But let's be honest, it was not the development of their relationships, or the dirty little secrets of their lives, that kept us coming back for more every week - it was the mystery of the island.
What is the island? Who is Jacob? What is the Dharma Initiative? What's the statue? Why can some people find the island and others can't? What's the real significance of the island? Who are the good guys and who are the bad ones - really?
THOSE are the mysteries we spend our precious life trying to answer. Mysteries we were lead to believe the authors had the answers to.
They did not. They were laughing at us all these years, watching us trying to figure out what was on their minds when nothing actually was on their minds. They had no answers. They had no reasons for the wacky things that happened in the island. It could get as wacky as they wanted - there was not an explanation behind it. And yet, they let us try to find one. And laughed at us. All these years.
If you really think Lost ended up in a satisfactory way, you have to be a sucker. It did not. I feel cheated out of my time. I feel like my intelligence has been insulted. I feel like I've been treated as a lab rat. For six years I loved watching LOST. The last chapter made me hate it forever.
No, it was not just a good show with an unworthy ending. Because then I could say - it was a good show, just the ending was weak. No, that was not the case. It was an ending that stated that everything I did until that moment was meaningless, worthless, waste of time. It was a slap across the face saying, "why did you bother?"
Seriously? Why did I bother?

The day of the bride

It will be common place to say that, but if only I had know then what I know today.
The day of the bride - a Brazilian tradition of pampering the bride on her wedding day with oils and perfumes and flowers, the one day in your life you can be treated as a true princess.
This is a tradition we borrowed from India. Oh, those magical mystery hindu people and their crazy traditions. Prepare the bride for her groom, make her skin softer, shinier, healthier, and more fragrant than ever.
It might be a general Asia Minor tradition, because queen Esther was also ordered to be pampered in oils and fragrances to be presented to the Persian King.
It is not a tradition kept by the filthy barbarian Europeans who knew nothing about proper manners until they met the Romans - who knew nothing about anything that mattered until they met the middle easterners and asians.
I should have remembered marriage is a once in a lifetime thing and taken advantage of my day of the bride.
Unfortunately the tradition kept in Brazil has been stained by the excessive wanna-be upper class mindset where you must have servants for everything. The bride should not be removed from her mother on the single most important day of her life! They day she will be given away to another family!!! That should be a family day - like it is in the United States, mom, bride, bridesmaids, everyone celebrating that very special day. That's just what i really wanted to have.

is it ok to hide who you are?

Is it ok to hide your true Christian identity to preserve your life or your safety? That's what Queen Esther did, according to last Sunday's Bible text. That's what Christians in China do, as my husband reminded me. How will you spread the word if you're dead? It's ok to be quiet about who you are then, just so you're not excluded from the community?
Is it ok to be quiet about your true beliefs on evolution just so people will still respect you as a member of the scientific community?
Is it ok to be quiet about revolutionary thoughts then? Just so you won't be excluded from the government?
How much hiding is it ok to do for the sake of life preservation before you don't know who you are anymore? And before what you really are really does not matter anymore? When should we stop hiding and face the consequences, maybe deadly, of our true identity? Queen Esther eventually had to. When her whole people were threatened of extinction, she had to. It was either risk your life now or lose your life later.
When is hiding wise?
When is hiding coward?
When is hiding sheer dishonesty?

I don't want to waste my life

When we are young, like children and teenagers we have so many dreams. What do we do with those dreams at the end of our lives? Do we just bury them? Do we pursue them? Do we keep them in the fridge waiting until time is just right? Do we wait until the people that might laugh at us are not there anymore? Do we spend our lives trying to please people that don't matter and put our dreams on hold?
One day we will die. Things we did not do won't matter. The things we wanted to do won't matter. The people we were afraid of won't matter. The people we wanted to please won't matter.
The only thing that will matter is what we actually did.
When we get to the end of our lives, when we look behind, what will we see? A life filled with dreams fulfilled, or at least the pursuit of those dreams? Or will we see a life that was wasted with things that did not matter?
When I die, what will I have left behind?
I want to many things - I want to travel and see the world. I want to learn to cook well, I want to learn to play the guitar, I want to learn different languages. I want to read different books, I want to write my own books. I want to make a difference in people's lives. I want to make a difference in my family's lives. I want to raise children who will be responsible and loving people, who will take care of the world God gave them, who will take care of the people around them, and who will value the good things in life - ans work for it.
I want a lot in life. I can't put my life on hold. I can't lose track of it. I can't, I don't want to, and I won't waste my life. I want it all and I want it now. As much as my arms can hold, as often as my arms can hold, for as long as my arms can hold.

Main character

Everyone is the main character of their own story. No one wants to be a side-kick. No one wants to be a villain. No one wants to be the less-smart (euphemism) friend to the cool guy. That's why those of us who step on others to get somewhere are in a very dangerous position. Because in someone else's story we are the villains who must be overcome.
Those of us who are in charge and must take harsh decisions are also in a very dangerous position. In someone else's story the harsh decision might be the excuse they need to be the leader of the rebels fighting against the injustices of this world. In someone else's world harsh and evil might be synonyms. Or are we naive to think that every one's view of fairness is fair and balanced? Everyone wants to be the main character of their own story - everyone IS the main character of their own story.
Real life is not like story plots where the side-kick is always the faithful less smart friend of the always-caring super-hero. Honestly, who wants to be a sidekick in their own story?
We often think too high of ourselves. Way too high.

"I miss my family"

Sometimes a song just says what is in your mind. I know that this is supposed to fun, says the song. I know it is supposed to be fun. Being a grown-up, out on my own, married. Living in a country that actually respects your as a human being. All these things have been what I have always dreamed of. living a dream - like Queen Esther. Living a princess dream.
I know this is supposed to be fun.
I'm having mixed feelings right now, says the song. Indeed I am having mixed feelings right now. Because I miss my family, just like the song says. I miss my family. And with every repetition I also repeat it in my heart - I miss my family. I miss my people. I miss the ones that were there for me growing up. I miss the ones who taught me about life, who taught me values I live by, who taught me to be who I am today.
And I don't miss them just for what they made me be. I miss them for who they are, and for the feelings that exist between us. I miss the things we did together, the places we went together, the the moments we shared together. Like Queen Esther probably did, living in the courts of the Persian king. She probably missed her family. So much that she still listened to her uncle's advice. Her uncle who had but her best interest in mind.
I love my life now. But I miss my family. My family, who has but my best interest in mind.

Kids will be kids

Some things in the world will always be the same.

Children will always be children.

When I am watching them in the playground I like to try to get in their minds - to imagine what they are feeling, what they are thinking, what their fears are, what their dreams are.

Not too long ago, it seems, I was one of them too.

Not too long ago, I also had that best friend who sticks like a tick to your skin - and makes you act like a fool.

Not too long ago I also walked down hallways filled with GIANT kids ... (before I found out they were just little 10-year-olds, and were not really BIG - it was I that was just a tiny first-grader).

Not too long ago all the world was way bigger then it is now, all my feelings were way more powerful than they are now, all that happened was way scarier than it is now, all my life was way more complicated than it is now.

Here are some questions that crossed my mind during childhood (and no I was not the brightest child on earth):

"why does the 4th grade board have weird math symbols on it?"

"why does the principal think we did it?"

"why does the only good-looking boy in the whole world never talk to me?"

"why do things happen just like mom told me they would if I do something behind her back?"

"why does that girl say so many bad words?"

"why is the teacher never looking?"

"why do I get spanked if I am only a kid?"

"why do strange voices always ask if my mom is home when I answer the phone?"

"how did she know I wet my pants???"

"how will I ever see my friends again if we go to a different school?"

"how will my best friend ever be able to call me if my phone number changes?"

"how can my aunt live in the U.S. if her mom is Brazilian?"

"how did mom find out?"

and the most mind-boggling one ever:

"how on earth does the teacher know my mom?"

Not too long ago ... the world was huge and mysterious.... it hasn't gotten much simpler, I just make myself believe it has.

One day when I was young

I do not remember much of sermon, but pastor mentioned that one day when he was young he did a certain thing. When he was young. And he had that look on his face that lead to the place he was speaking from. So I guess I lost the rest of his argument, because I started looking at him where he was in life, and where he used to be. When he said that he was referring to the fact that life sneaked up on him while he was busy trying to change the world. He knew what he wanted to do, and he knew what was right. And he went on to do the things that must be done.
Now he is the father of four young adults. Grandpa to a very young baby girl. Time sneaks up on us and takes away the life we take for granted. One day when I was very young, I could not wait to grow up. I could not wait to turn 10, so I could stay up for the 8 o'clock novela. I could not wait to turn 12 so I could watch that scary movie in the theater. I could not wait to turn 15 so I could have my sweet 15 party. I could not wait till I had my own life so I could do things differently. I could not wait until I could set (and live by) my own rules.
"One day when I was young" is the sentence we will repeat for the rest of our lives. Because when we are young we do things, and we live life, and we don't realize that life is taking away that youth that we so careless live through. And when we look behind so much time has gone by. The people that were young like us are not so young anymore. The people that were old and in charge are now taking the role of mere consultants! The ones that used to be the mere consultants are mostly gone. The people that were not even people are now the young ones. So were are the old people? Heck! the old people are us!!! Then we realize that the tables have turned. We are not looking up anymore, trying to imagine the day when we will be in charge. We are in charge. And a generation of new young people are now in the place we once were, trying to take our place, trying to do things better than us - because they know what is right! And they will do it! They can't wait to get to where we are.
Life is a cycle, and we go through it, often unaware, always impotent to break out of it. If there was no God, what meaning would that all have? Lives that were not come into this world, spend a lifetime waiting for their chance to shine, then the rest of that lifetime looking back at their turn, until they are no more.