- My friends who are divorced never cease to ask me how I managed to stay married 30 years to the same woman. Ever
more evil, women do not ask my wife how she manages to stay
married to the same man, but how she manages to stay married to me. The ones asking the right questions are the youth. They want to know the secret to keeping a marriage for so long. Nobody teaches it in schools. I'm
no expert in the field, as everyone knows, but that said, my answer
is more or less the following:
Nowadays divorce is inevitable, you can
not escape it. Nobody can stand living with the same person for the rest of one's life. I'm actually already on my third marriage - the only difference is that I am married three times to the same woman. My wife, if I'm not mistaken is in her fifth because she thought about picking up her bags more often than I have. The secret of marriage is not eternal harmony. After the inevitable turmoils, the solution is to ponder, calm down and start again with the same woman. The secret is to renew your marriage, and not seek new marriage.
This requires some considerations that are forgotten in the day-to-day life as a couple. From time to time, it is necessary to renew the relationship. From time to time it is necessary to start dating again, go back to courting, seduce and be seduced. How long has it been you haven't gone dancing? How long haven't you tried to conquer your pair as a potential suitor? How long has it been you haven't gone on a honeymoon - a honeymoon without children eternally struggling to get your unrestricted attention? Not to mention the countless pounds which have been added to you after the wedding. Wife and husband lose 20lb in one month after being separated, why you can not achieve the same while together? Pretend this is your new affair. If
it were a new marriage, you certainly would attend new and unknown
places, move homes, renew your wardrobe, CDs,
haircut, makeup. But all this can be done without you separating from your spouse.
Let's
be honest: no one can stand the same woman and the same husband for
thirty years with the same clothes, the same lipstick, the same
friends, with the same jokes. Often it is not your wife who is getting boring and musty, it is you and your furniture with the same faded decor. If you divorce, you'd certainly change it all , which is just one of the pleasures of separation. Those who separate delight themselves with a new life, a new house, a new neighborhood, a new circle of friends.
You don't need an ugly divorce to have it all. Just switch places and interests and do not get comfortable. This
is obviously expensive and many marriages fall apart because the couple
refuses to pay these small costs required to renewing a marriage. But
if you separate, your new spouse will want young children, new
furniture, new clothes and you still have the child support from a
previous marriage.
There is no such thing as "stable marriage" nor should it be desired. The world changes, and so do you, your husband, your wife, your neighborhood and your friends. The best strategy to save a marriage is not maintaining a "stable relationship", but knowing how to change along. Every
spouse needs to evolve, learn, improve themselves, get involved in
things that one would have never thought of doing in the beginning of
marriage. You do it constantly at work, why not do it in one's own family? It's what your kids do since they came into the world. So
discover the young woman or young man who lives by your side, instead
of going around trying to find an interesting new match. I'm
sure your children will have respect for your decision to stay together and learn
the important lesson of how to grow and evolve together despite
disagreements. Quarrels
and turmoils will always occur: so occasionally you need to get
married again, but try to do it always with the same match. You
see, THERE IS NO MAGIC - THERE IS COMMITMENT , COMMITMENT AND WORK - this
is what saves marriages and families." Source : Arnaldo Jabor Quotes .
Sunday, March 02, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Politics is not something to be discussed
They convinced the sucker that politics is not to be discussed. And
so the corrupts and crooks have taken over the government and stolen all his
money, have made absurd laws and ignored just laws, and left the sucker without a penny, in a country where no one wants to be a politician, because politician is synonymous with crook.
Sucker indeed. Human beings are political beings for as long as they have resolved to live in society. The fate of the human being who does not discuss or is interested in politics is to be controlled by those who are interested.
Politics should be discussed. Politics is to be lived. For politics you'll even die in the pursuit of a just society . If you do not discuss politics, you might even have a peaceful life without wants. But the kind of a peace of a slave, a peace without freedom or honor. Is it worth it? Ask a slave. Read some of the books written by those slaves who had the blessing to taste the uncertainties of freedom (cf. Frederick Douglass, Harriet Ann Jacobs). Is it worth placing your future and that of your children in the hands of another - another who might give you everything or might give you nothing, but who will always give you only what he wants? Is it worth it so that you don't have to bother discussing how to build and maintain a just and free society?
Politics is indeed to be discussed. It is a pain, it is boring, it is complicated, it is hard not to yell at those who think differently than you. It is all of that, but it is worth it. When you learn to debate, to respect the other's opinion, even if he doesn't change his opinion, it makes it easier. When you learn that people won't always take your side, but that you can still be friends after that, it makes it even easier. But even if you lose your friend - what do you prefer? Live as two friends in lies and slavery, or live both of you with that friendship, but free to determine your own future?
And I'd even say that political parties are important. I am not talking about partisanship, where parties become independent institutions determining the thoughts of its members. No. I am talking about parties that arise from differing views on a same specific subject, but who are willing to take on a legitimate discussion in the public arena - and may the best argument win. Parties should always exist because humans are different and think differently, and always will. But since subjects change, so should parties. Parties should not remain the same, but change as society's issues change. All sides should engage in honest discussion.
It was thanks to politics that we have abolished slavery. Thanks to politics the countries of America proclaimed their independence. And thanks to politics much harm was done to our world - war, genocide, abusive taxes and redistribution of wealth. Evil was done when those who were against the evil fell silent under the excuse that politics is not discussed.
Sorry if u are part of the group of suckers. Please do not forget - when you are persuaded that politics is not to be discussed, or that politics is for crooks, you are flouting centuries of evolution of human thought. Include in your contempt philosophers and great thinkers of ancient Greece, the Enlightenment, the great revolutions for self-government. You're throwing out the window all that our ancestors built so carefully . ... In hindsight , you really are a sucker. Do not be a sucker. For the love that you have for the wisdom that God gave mankind, do not be a sucker. Put your mind to do something worhy - make your life worth living in this brief passage of yours through human history .
Sucker indeed. Human beings are political beings for as long as they have resolved to live in society. The fate of the human being who does not discuss or is interested in politics is to be controlled by those who are interested.
Politics should be discussed. Politics is to be lived. For politics you'll even die in the pursuit of a just society . If you do not discuss politics, you might even have a peaceful life without wants. But the kind of a peace of a slave, a peace without freedom or honor. Is it worth it? Ask a slave. Read some of the books written by those slaves who had the blessing to taste the uncertainties of freedom (cf. Frederick Douglass, Harriet Ann Jacobs). Is it worth placing your future and that of your children in the hands of another - another who might give you everything or might give you nothing, but who will always give you only what he wants? Is it worth it so that you don't have to bother discussing how to build and maintain a just and free society?
Politics is indeed to be discussed. It is a pain, it is boring, it is complicated, it is hard not to yell at those who think differently than you. It is all of that, but it is worth it. When you learn to debate, to respect the other's opinion, even if he doesn't change his opinion, it makes it easier. When you learn that people won't always take your side, but that you can still be friends after that, it makes it even easier. But even if you lose your friend - what do you prefer? Live as two friends in lies and slavery, or live both of you with that friendship, but free to determine your own future?
And I'd even say that political parties are important. I am not talking about partisanship, where parties become independent institutions determining the thoughts of its members. No. I am talking about parties that arise from differing views on a same specific subject, but who are willing to take on a legitimate discussion in the public arena - and may the best argument win. Parties should always exist because humans are different and think differently, and always will. But since subjects change, so should parties. Parties should not remain the same, but change as society's issues change. All sides should engage in honest discussion.
It was thanks to politics that we have abolished slavery. Thanks to politics the countries of America proclaimed their independence. And thanks to politics much harm was done to our world - war, genocide, abusive taxes and redistribution of wealth. Evil was done when those who were against the evil fell silent under the excuse that politics is not discussed.
Sorry if u are part of the group of suckers. Please do not forget - when you are persuaded that politics is not to be discussed, or that politics is for crooks, you are flouting centuries of evolution of human thought. Include in your contempt philosophers and great thinkers of ancient Greece, the Enlightenment, the great revolutions for self-government. You're throwing out the window all that our ancestors built so carefully . ... In hindsight , you really are a sucker. Do not be a sucker. For the love that you have for the wisdom that God gave mankind, do not be a sucker. Put your mind to do something worhy - make your life worth living in this brief passage of yours through human history .
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Homosexuality indeed. Why not?
I ask you, who call yourself a Christian, and is sitting there appalled with
homosexuality being regarded as something praiseworthy - why not ?
Remember how many times you have been to the movies and hoped the good guy and the girl got together, even though she was married to another, or even though they both had built their relationship on illicit sex (fornication). Remember how many times u talked to your friends, those who had sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends, as if it were absolutely normal, and you wanted them to stay together without ever suggesting that they should be married to do what they were doing every night.
We've spent too much time dealing with sinful sexuality as if it were normal. You've accepted the mundane version of sexuality that is all based on feelings and that what matters is love.
That actually is not love - it's lust. But our society has decided to call lust for love, then you accept it as valid. Yes, all is worth it in the name of love. "May it not be immortal, since it is but a flame, may it be infinite while it lasts," says the poet. How beautiful, you say. What matters is love.
My friend (or brother, if you prefer), for a long time our society has treated sexuality as a toy, subject to sinful treats of the human beings. From sex outside marriage to homosexual practice it is but a leap - okay that is a complicated leap because it involves prejudice, but it is an obvious leap from the viewpoint of logic. And as we live in a post- Christian society, homosexuality wants to be legitimized through marriage. The homosexuality wants to be part of a society that values the religious version of family. But this is not because the homosexual wants out of fornication and wants holy form of sex. It is just that our post- Christian society has become accustomed to values and institutions like marriage. It's just that. There is nothing sacred or Christian in a homosexual marriage. As there is nothing Christian or sacred in a marriage between fornicators or adulterers.
When you friend got married pregnant and you thought she looked gorgeous with that belly showing, the problem was as serious as it is now. Once u open the door and kick morality out, anything goes. Homosexuality yes . Why not? And if that is not what you want, u will have to say no to a lot that you have been saying yes to for a long time.
Each of us - appalled at the current state of our "Christian" society - has a bit of guilt if we have held this behavior .
Sin is not - never was - something we exalt as beautiful. Sin is ugly. Be homosexuality, fornication or adultery. When we sin we should feel shame and repent, and fall prostrate at the feet of the Lord, instead of hitting our chest with pride to say that we did everything in the name of love. Every time we did that, or applauded whoever did it, we opened the door to what we have today. Homosexuality yes . Why not? God have mercy on us.
Remember how many times you have been to the movies and hoped the good guy and the girl got together, even though she was married to another, or even though they both had built their relationship on illicit sex (fornication). Remember how many times u talked to your friends, those who had sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends, as if it were absolutely normal, and you wanted them to stay together without ever suggesting that they should be married to do what they were doing every night.
We've spent too much time dealing with sinful sexuality as if it were normal. You've accepted the mundane version of sexuality that is all based on feelings and that what matters is love.
That actually is not love - it's lust. But our society has decided to call lust for love, then you accept it as valid. Yes, all is worth it in the name of love. "May it not be immortal, since it is but a flame, may it be infinite while it lasts," says the poet. How beautiful, you say. What matters is love.
My friend (or brother, if you prefer), for a long time our society has treated sexuality as a toy, subject to sinful treats of the human beings. From sex outside marriage to homosexual practice it is but a leap - okay that is a complicated leap because it involves prejudice, but it is an obvious leap from the viewpoint of logic. And as we live in a post- Christian society, homosexuality wants to be legitimized through marriage. The homosexuality wants to be part of a society that values the religious version of family. But this is not because the homosexual wants out of fornication and wants holy form of sex. It is just that our post- Christian society has become accustomed to values and institutions like marriage. It's just that. There is nothing sacred or Christian in a homosexual marriage. As there is nothing Christian or sacred in a marriage between fornicators or adulterers.
When you friend got married pregnant and you thought she looked gorgeous with that belly showing, the problem was as serious as it is now. Once u open the door and kick morality out, anything goes. Homosexuality yes . Why not? And if that is not what you want, u will have to say no to a lot that you have been saying yes to for a long time.
Each of us - appalled at the current state of our "Christian" society - has a bit of guilt if we have held this behavior .
Sin is not - never was - something we exalt as beautiful. Sin is ugly. Be homosexuality, fornication or adultery. When we sin we should feel shame and repent, and fall prostrate at the feet of the Lord, instead of hitting our chest with pride to say that we did everything in the name of love. Every time we did that, or applauded whoever did it, we opened the door to what we have today. Homosexuality yes . Why not? God have mercy on us.
Sunday, February 09, 2014
Charlotte's Web - The movie
I like watching movies - I do. But will I will never finish watching the movie version of Charlotte's Web. I really like Dakota Fanning. She is a cute little girl and talented child actress. I think the story is entertaining - not beautiful, but entertaining. I have seen the animated version of the story and liked it very much. And lastly, I do like to add more movies to my list. Even when I don't care about the story, I just let it play while I do something else to make sure I can say I have seen the movie.
I don't care much about the story of Charlotte's Web. I don't care for movies about talking animals, I don't like spiders, and I think the story gets hypocritical when it tries to protect a pig from getting to my table, but gives a spider the right to eat poor little flies! She says that's the way it is and she will keep doing it shamelessly!!!! Let's turn the spider into a vegetarian too, if we are trying to be fair. But I could put up with all this crap, she it was all in a cartoon format.
So, despite all of my reservations about the story and the fact that I really don't care for talking animals, I was willing to give this movie a shot and let it play in the back of my screen, just as I did to 101 Dalmatians, and other movies that have talking or super intelligent animals.
Why then have I not been able to finish watching Charlotte's Web? Well, you see, when Charlotte started coming down on the screen and I realized that the hero of the story was not just a cartoon spider, but a real life looking spider, I wanted to puke. Ihad to turn off the movie immediately and forget all about it for my sanity's sake. It is one thing to see a disgusting spider turned into a cartoon, and I can take that. I can put up with the fact that she is a great spider who has a lot to teach a fearful talking pig. I can put up a cartoon talking pig as well, even though Babe made me sick to my stomach. But I can put up with a real life spider turned hero. Same reason why I couldn't bring myself to watch Shrek. He is a freaking ogre, people!!! Anyway, I did not and I will not watch Charlotte's Web the movie. No thank you. If you must torture me in the future, you already know which way to go. but I beg you, please, don't.
Sunday, February 02, 2014
Movies
When I was little I had a notebook where I wrote down the names of every movie I watched.
I lost this notebook a long time ago. So Yesterday I decided to start up again. I am at movie number 836. I know I have seen many more. All those old Trinity , Jerry Lewis and Benji movies haven't been logged in yet. Little by little, I might be able to recover most movies i have seen in my lifetime. ... Why? For posterity, I guess. Or because my memory is crap and I hate making a fool out of myself trying to recover a movie name or guess whether or nt I have seen that movie.
I lost this notebook a long time ago. So Yesterday I decided to start up again. I am at movie number 836. I know I have seen many more. All those old Trinity , Jerry Lewis and Benji movies haven't been logged in yet. Little by little, I might be able to recover most movies i have seen in my lifetime. ... Why? For posterity, I guess. Or because my memory is crap and I hate making a fool out of myself trying to recover a movie name or guess whether or nt I have seen that movie.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
New Year's Resolutions - broken
Legend has it that 25% of New Year's resolutions are broken within the first week of January. Well, I say, January is all but gone, and with January so are up so many hopeful resolutions. But do not despair, they'll be back again someday (along with Frosty the snow man).
And that's why I do not make myself go through the trouble of making New Year's resolutions. Making daily resolutions every night is too much work already, and I realize the next night, when I rest my head on my pillow, that I kept almost none of them. Some were broken in the same day, others two days later . ...
Eat less ,
Exercise more ,
Do not procrastinate ,
Practice guitar
Take better care of my skin ,
Take better care of my home and my husband (this homemaker business is something for professionals)
Read for 30 minutes each day ...
... and the list is growing .
So if daily resolutions already give me so much work, what the heck I'm going to complicate myself with new year resolutions for?
Life is too short to start over every year. That only gives you an average of 80-and-few new chances . I start over every day. This gives me 365 new chances per year. Every day is a new struggle - as the philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous .
"Hi, my name is Virginia, I'm a compulsive eater, and I haven't eaten junk for 4 hours and 32 minutes."
"Hi, my name is Virginia, I'm careless about my skin, and I have used moisturizer regularly for two days."
... Day to day, how many of these phrases can I repeat without getting back to square one? Come on - today I have already ruined my healthy eating resolution. I was doing everything right until 2 pm , when I opened a packet of chips. Tomorrow I'll start again. Now I will study Japanese.
And that's why I do not make myself go through the trouble of making New Year's resolutions. Making daily resolutions every night is too much work already, and I realize the next night, when I rest my head on my pillow, that I kept almost none of them. Some were broken in the same day, others two days later . ...
Eat less ,
Exercise more ,
Do not procrastinate ,
Practice guitar
Take better care of my skin ,
Take better care of my home and my husband (this homemaker business is something for professionals)
Read for 30 minutes each day ...
... and the list is growing .
So if daily resolutions already give me so much work, what the heck I'm going to complicate myself with new year resolutions for?
Life is too short to start over every year. That only gives you an average of 80-and-few new chances . I start over every day. This gives me 365 new chances per year. Every day is a new struggle - as the philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous .
"Hi, my name is Virginia, I'm a compulsive eater, and I haven't eaten junk for 4 hours and 32 minutes."
"Hi, my name is Virginia, I'm careless about my skin, and I have used moisturizer regularly for two days."
... Day to day, how many of these phrases can I repeat without getting back to square one? Come on - today I have already ruined my healthy eating resolution. I was doing everything right until 2 pm , when I opened a packet of chips. Tomorrow I'll start again. Now I will study Japanese.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
When we're little
Yesterday I saw a video of a little girl who sees her father's twin for the first time. The world is a funny place when we are little. Things that make perfect sense for older people or that everyone else understands as common place are completely different or uncommon to you.
Yesterday, as I looked through some James Bond movies - the Pierce Brosnan ones - I remembered how surprised I was to find out one day that Indiana Jones father (that nice old man) was once a 007 - the sexiest secret agent in the world.
"Seriously? Indy's dad?"
What about me wondering why people that went to the stadiums took their radios with them? Don't they know that the TV narrator will be there? No it never occurred to me that the TV narrator sat in his little TV network cabin and spoke on the microphone that went directly to our TVs, not to the stadiums broadcast system, which in most Brazilian stadiums is actually non-existent. Even if we did have a stadium broadcast system, who would narrate it? Globo TV? Bandeirantes? SBT? Or one of the radio stations? After all, each TV channel and each station had their own narrator. I guess, I hadn't realized that yet.
But one of my favorite kid thing is me trying to figure out what those lines were inside my eyes when I came home from the swimming pool. The Condominium Pool was on the ground floor and I had to go on the elevator to get to my condo on the 18th floor. So I went inside the elevator and looked at myself in the mirror all the way up - And wondered what those lines were inside my eyes... Not sure how long it took me to figure out they were the reflection of my wet eye lashes clumped together because of the water.With all the light inside the elevator, it was very easy for them to reflect right off my eye balls.
That's why little kids are so fun.
Yesterday, as I looked through some James Bond movies - the Pierce Brosnan ones - I remembered how surprised I was to find out one day that Indiana Jones father (that nice old man) was once a 007 - the sexiest secret agent in the world.
"Seriously? Indy's dad?"
What about me wondering why people that went to the stadiums took their radios with them? Don't they know that the TV narrator will be there? No it never occurred to me that the TV narrator sat in his little TV network cabin and spoke on the microphone that went directly to our TVs, not to the stadiums broadcast system, which in most Brazilian stadiums is actually non-existent. Even if we did have a stadium broadcast system, who would narrate it? Globo TV? Bandeirantes? SBT? Or one of the radio stations? After all, each TV channel and each station had their own narrator. I guess, I hadn't realized that yet.
But one of my favorite kid thing is me trying to figure out what those lines were inside my eyes when I came home from the swimming pool. The Condominium Pool was on the ground floor and I had to go on the elevator to get to my condo on the 18th floor. So I went inside the elevator and looked at myself in the mirror all the way up - And wondered what those lines were inside my eyes... Not sure how long it took me to figure out they were the reflection of my wet eye lashes clumped together because of the water.With all the light inside the elevator, it was very easy for them to reflect right off my eye balls.
That's why little kids are so fun.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY PARENTS
WHAT I'VE LEARNED WITH THE LAST SEVEN O'CLOCK SOAP OPERA (Sangue Bom) - Love is love . No matter who we love. Some people are attracted to men , others by women, others to both. That does not matter, what matters is love.
IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY PARENTS to explain me that what they are talking about is not love - it's sex - and that attraction between people of the same sex is a sin, that sex with someone who is not our spouse ( out of wedlock ) is a sin , I would grow up THINKING THAT THIS IS NORMAL. In about 20 years our entire society would have this mentality , and no one would have thought that it might be different .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.
WHAT I LEARNED WITH CURRENT 8 O'CLOCK SOAP OPERA (Amor a Vida) - Both men and women can go around picking up everyone. A woman who picks up everyone is not a bitch , she is as free as any man. I also learned that anyone can get AIDS, and that virginity in adult life is a problem to be solved .
IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY PARENTS to explain me that equal rights does not mean to go down to the level of the other, that right is right and wrong is wrong, and that when a certain group of people is wrong, the other group should not want to be equal in error; that AIDS is indeed restricted to certain groups - those who are sexually active, and usually have more than one partner - that being sexually active is not as common as breathing, eating candy and bike riding; that virginity is precious and that should not be given away till after the wedding - to your spouse - and not at the "right time", I would grow up THINKING THAT THIS IS NORMAL. In about 20 years our entire society would have this mentality , and no one would have thought that it might be different .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.
Can you change what's on TV? If the population goes crazy and manifests its opinion; if the population writes, calls, complains and threatens to boycott ( and indeed boycott) - yes, the TV changes the show. The TV needs to please its audience, and will indeed adapt their programming to the will of the people .
But even if we can't prevent things from showing on TV, you have to take a stand about it, especially if u watch TV together with people whose minds are in formation. If u have children, younger siblings, nephews, grandchildren - do not let the shit that comes out of the screen go in their ears without processing, without a dialogue. Ideas need to be discussed, especially in training minds, so that right and wrong are not confused. Younger people always look at older people in search of a model , a map, a north. As much as we scold and say we don't care, younger people seek indeed the older people for models. Many of the things I do today are a mere imitation of what I grew up watching my mother, my grandmother and my aunt do or say. The way I take care of children is an imitation as well. Imitating elders is almost inherent in human beings .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.
IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY PARENTS to explain me that what they are talking about is not love - it's sex - and that attraction between people of the same sex is a sin, that sex with someone who is not our spouse ( out of wedlock ) is a sin , I would grow up THINKING THAT THIS IS NORMAL. In about 20 years our entire society would have this mentality , and no one would have thought that it might be different .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.
WHAT I LEARNED WITH CURRENT 8 O'CLOCK SOAP OPERA (Amor a Vida) - Both men and women can go around picking up everyone. A woman who picks up everyone is not a bitch , she is as free as any man. I also learned that anyone can get AIDS, and that virginity in adult life is a problem to be solved .
IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY PARENTS to explain me that equal rights does not mean to go down to the level of the other, that right is right and wrong is wrong, and that when a certain group of people is wrong, the other group should not want to be equal in error; that AIDS is indeed restricted to certain groups - those who are sexually active, and usually have more than one partner - that being sexually active is not as common as breathing, eating candy and bike riding; that virginity is precious and that should not be given away till after the wedding - to your spouse - and not at the "right time", I would grow up THINKING THAT THIS IS NORMAL. In about 20 years our entire society would have this mentality , and no one would have thought that it might be different .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.
But even if we can't prevent things from showing on TV, you have to take a stand about it, especially if u watch TV together with people whose minds are in formation. If u have children, younger siblings, nephews, grandchildren - do not let the shit that comes out of the screen go in their ears without processing, without a dialogue. Ideas need to be discussed, especially in training minds, so that right and wrong are not confused. Younger people always look at older people in search of a model , a map, a north. As much as we scold and say we don't care, younger people seek indeed the older people for models. Many of the things I do today are a mere imitation of what I grew up watching my mother, my grandmother and my aunt do or say. The way I take care of children is an imitation as well. Imitating elders is almost inherent in human beings .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.
Sunday, January 05, 2014
New Year's resolution????
Some people are going around making a list of their new years resolution. I keep asking myself "Why bother?"
Example of typical new year's resolutions are -
to lose weight -
to got o the gym -
Well, I guess I could do that, but then I think about it and ... why bother? They can't be new year's resolutions to me. I make those resolutions every night, after realizing I failed miserably at last night's resolutions.
Example of typical new year's resolutions are -
to lose weight -
to got o the gym -
Well, I guess I could do that, but then I think about it and ... why bother? They can't be new year's resolutions to me. I make those resolutions every night, after realizing I failed miserably at last night's resolutions.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
How to rate your products so that I can benefit from your review
During this end-of-year shopping season, I went through very frustrating shopping experiences.
It would help a lot if people knew how to write product reviews. It is very frustrating when we are shopping for a product and we find all these bad reviews, then you go look at them, and they simply make no sense.
If you don't know how to write a review, I think I can help. Follow these very simple tips:
1- DOA, or broken parts on arrival, or broke after very short usage time:
If you have a product that is DOA, or arrived with broken parts, or broke after a week's usage, don't write a bad review about it. Every company will have its bad eggs. And every so often things go wrong with shipping safety. Go back to the store and exchange for a new one or a refund. Most online companies will let you return products that arrived broken for no shipping cost.
Once you get the new product - the new working product - use it and review it.
2- Container too small:
Electronics - If you buy a kitchen product (or any product meant to hold stuff) that says something like capacity - 3 cups, it is FREAKING 3 CUPS! Don't expect to fit the meal for a family of 5 and be mad about it when it doesn't. Give us a break and don't give the product a 1 or 2 star rating just because you didn't know that 3 cups would not fit the contents of that 5 quart vegetable puree you are trying to prepare. Anyway, if you usually cook for that large a battalion, buy an industrial size product.
Car- unless the manufacturer claims their car is big enough for your growing teenagers sports gear, your baby's 2-suitcase-load of toys, had plenty of leg room, and head room, don't be upset when you, a 7-foot-tall basketball player, can't fit inside your new subcompact, and your 2 children and their dates, take up all your rear window. It is the nature of the beast. When you are that big or have that big a group, you go for at least a compact.
3- Too noisy:
Unless you bought a blender, food processor (especially the manual choppers), paper shredder, pencil sharpener, vacuum cleaner, cheap/old car that claims to be quiet, don't give it a bad rating for the noise. It is the freaking nature of those products to be noisy.
If you bought a noisy computer or a set of speakers that crackle, that is a whole other story.
4- The item doesn't meet my needs ... because I didn't properly read the specs:
First of all - read the damn specs before you buy a product. Does it not specify what you are looking for? Talk to a salesperson (in person or by email). Don't buy a product unless you know for sure it is meant to do what you need it to do.
5- You want to alert people of typically overlooked specs. Maybe, you want to alert people in your review that the product indeed has a specific feature, that might be easily overlooked. Still, does that product deserve a low rating because it didn't have the particular characteristics you were looking for?
WHEN IS IT OK TO GIVE A PRODUCT A BAD RATING?
1- If you had to go to great lengths to find out the specs - for instance, you might have had to email the seller simply to find out whether your product will work with a 220 voltage. That is something that should be readily available.
2- If the product is unusually hard to use (i.e. must bang on the light fixture once or twice in order for it to come on)
3- If the product is unusually hard to figure out (counter intuitive) (i.e. the volume settings is hidden somewhere in the email settings)
4- If the product doesn't work to full (prescribed) potential or doesn't at all do what it is supposed to do (i.e. says it will keep water hot for 30 minutes, but water is cold after 5 minutes; noisy when it says quiet).
5- If the product has an unusual characteristic that makes its use a hassle (i.e. tablet dies after an hour of usage; hold down the lid during the whole process or else it won't work)
6- If the product was DOA or with broke parts and the company did not allow you an exchange - that means they don't stand behind their product. Give it a bad rating and tell all your friends on Facebook not to buy from that company - ever.
7- If the product you got for an exchange doesn't work as well. That means one of two things - (1) you are an extremely unlucky person who gets the only two bad products that company ever made, (2) chances are most of their products have issues.
8- If the product worked well until the day after the warranty expired. That to me says the company is setting you up for a long an tortuous live time of calling the maintenance man ... Wait! Maintenance man? Gee, in which century am I living? There are no more maintenance men? You buy a new one - that is called planned obsolescence and they really just want you to keep buying their next new product as soon as it becomes available - for lack of a better choice. That company does not deserve your trust. Give them a bad rating and tell all your friends on Facebook to not buy from them - ever.
It would help a lot if people knew how to write product reviews. It is very frustrating when we are shopping for a product and we find all these bad reviews, then you go look at them, and they simply make no sense.
If you don't know how to write a review, I think I can help. Follow these very simple tips:
1- DOA, or broken parts on arrival, or broke after very short usage time:
If you have a product that is DOA, or arrived with broken parts, or broke after a week's usage, don't write a bad review about it. Every company will have its bad eggs. And every so often things go wrong with shipping safety. Go back to the store and exchange for a new one or a refund. Most online companies will let you return products that arrived broken for no shipping cost.
Once you get the new product - the new working product - use it and review it.
2- Container too small:
Electronics - If you buy a kitchen product (or any product meant to hold stuff) that says something like capacity - 3 cups, it is FREAKING 3 CUPS! Don't expect to fit the meal for a family of 5 and be mad about it when it doesn't. Give us a break and don't give the product a 1 or 2 star rating just because you didn't know that 3 cups would not fit the contents of that 5 quart vegetable puree you are trying to prepare. Anyway, if you usually cook for that large a battalion, buy an industrial size product.
Car- unless the manufacturer claims their car is big enough for your growing teenagers sports gear, your baby's 2-suitcase-load of toys, had plenty of leg room, and head room, don't be upset when you, a 7-foot-tall basketball player, can't fit inside your new subcompact, and your 2 children and their dates, take up all your rear window. It is the nature of the beast. When you are that big or have that big a group, you go for at least a compact.
3- Too noisy:
Unless you bought a blender, food processor (especially the manual choppers), paper shredder, pencil sharpener, vacuum cleaner, cheap/old car that claims to be quiet, don't give it a bad rating for the noise. It is the freaking nature of those products to be noisy.
If you bought a noisy computer or a set of speakers that crackle, that is a whole other story.
4- The item doesn't meet my needs ... because I didn't properly read the specs:
First of all - read the damn specs before you buy a product. Does it not specify what you are looking for? Talk to a salesperson (in person or by email). Don't buy a product unless you know for sure it is meant to do what you need it to do.
5- You want to alert people of typically overlooked specs. Maybe, you want to alert people in your review that the product indeed has a specific feature, that might be easily overlooked. Still, does that product deserve a low rating because it didn't have the particular characteristics you were looking for?
WHEN IS IT OK TO GIVE A PRODUCT A BAD RATING?
1- If you had to go to great lengths to find out the specs - for instance, you might have had to email the seller simply to find out whether your product will work with a 220 voltage. That is something that should be readily available.
2- If the product is unusually hard to use (i.e. must bang on the light fixture once or twice in order for it to come on)
3- If the product is unusually hard to figure out (counter intuitive) (i.e. the volume settings is hidden somewhere in the email settings)
4- If the product doesn't work to full (prescribed) potential or doesn't at all do what it is supposed to do (i.e. says it will keep water hot for 30 minutes, but water is cold after 5 minutes; noisy when it says quiet).
5- If the product has an unusual characteristic that makes its use a hassle (i.e. tablet dies after an hour of usage; hold down the lid during the whole process or else it won't work)
6- If the product was DOA or with broke parts and the company did not allow you an exchange - that means they don't stand behind their product. Give it a bad rating and tell all your friends on Facebook not to buy from that company - ever.
7- If the product you got for an exchange doesn't work as well. That means one of two things - (1) you are an extremely unlucky person who gets the only two bad products that company ever made, (2) chances are most of their products have issues.
8- If the product worked well until the day after the warranty expired. That to me says the company is setting you up for a long an tortuous live time of calling the maintenance man ... Wait! Maintenance man? Gee, in which century am I living? There are no more maintenance men? You buy a new one - that is called planned obsolescence and they really just want you to keep buying their next new product as soon as it becomes available - for lack of a better choice. That company does not deserve your trust. Give them a bad rating and tell all your friends on Facebook to not buy from them - ever.
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Welcome back to the dark ages
We are not living in a world of tolerance. We are living in a world where no one is free to speak their minds, because that might offend someone. A famous main character of a TV is punished with suspension because he expressed his disagreeing with homosexual practice! A comedian apologized on his Twitter for making fun of people's accents! Meanwhile in our schools a 6-year-old child is charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate's hand!
We have lived in a civilized world for too long. We are now going back to tribal living. No one is allowed to disagree from the popular opinion - if that happens, we will kick this person out of our tribe, leave him up to die. Welcome back to a world in which free speech does not exist, comedy is not accepted, and disagreeing views are punished with social execration.
Welcome back to the dark ages.
We have lived in a civilized world for too long. We are now going back to tribal living. No one is allowed to disagree from the popular opinion - if that happens, we will kick this person out of our tribe, leave him up to die. Welcome back to a world in which free speech does not exist, comedy is not accepted, and disagreeing views are punished with social execration.
Welcome back to the dark ages.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Bed time / Bad time?
Is it just me, or clocks go by way too fast in the evening?
I don't know about you, but making it to bed on time is the number one challenge of my week. What happens between 7 o'clock and 11 o'clock - where those four hours go in the blink of an eye - that is a mystery to me.
Last Friday was Friday the 13, I was planning a nice, cozy, scary night, in bed with my baby. I rented the scary movie a week ahead of time, so that nothing could go wrong.
Just that it did.
We didn't make it to bed till well past 10 pm, which is earlier than what we usually do, but too late if you're trying to watch a movie! And if you know anything about my movie watching abilities, you know that anything after 9 pm is, well, too late for me to stay awake for any significant period of time.
The movie was The Conjuring - the kind of movie that literally scares the soul out of you. Yeah, I was asleep within 45 minutes.
But why, you may ask, did you not make it to bed any sooner?
Well, really how much can you fit into one evening? A trip to Walmart, a little something to eat, getting some searches done in the computer, and getting ready to bed rituals seem to take so much longer than what they should take?
Last night I figured I wouldn't write my blog. I wanted to make it to bed in time to watch an episode of the OC. Really? When I looked at the clock it was already 10pm?
I have a feeling my clocks skip a few hours in their evening marks.
I don't know about you, but making it to bed on time is the number one challenge of my week. What happens between 7 o'clock and 11 o'clock - where those four hours go in the blink of an eye - that is a mystery to me.
Last Friday was Friday the 13, I was planning a nice, cozy, scary night, in bed with my baby. I rented the scary movie a week ahead of time, so that nothing could go wrong.
Just that it did.
We didn't make it to bed till well past 10 pm, which is earlier than what we usually do, but too late if you're trying to watch a movie! And if you know anything about my movie watching abilities, you know that anything after 9 pm is, well, too late for me to stay awake for any significant period of time.
The movie was The Conjuring - the kind of movie that literally scares the soul out of you. Yeah, I was asleep within 45 minutes.
But why, you may ask, did you not make it to bed any sooner?
Well, really how much can you fit into one evening? A trip to Walmart, a little something to eat, getting some searches done in the computer, and getting ready to bed rituals seem to take so much longer than what they should take?
Last night I figured I wouldn't write my blog. I wanted to make it to bed in time to watch an episode of the OC. Really? When I looked at the clock it was already 10pm?
I have a feeling my clocks skip a few hours in their evening marks.
Sunday, December 08, 2013
And you're outraged because...?
So, this lady had a baby and,4 days later, she posted a picture of her sculptural body on instagram, causing almost universal outrage.
To me the real issues are far from what's been freaking out people around the globe. The real issues are - "Is it possible?" followed by "Is it real or photoshop? Or an old picture?"
Now let's go to the issues that are outraging people, and see how senseless and pointless they are:
Issue #1:
"OMG, that will negatively affect young girls, who are already struggling with body and food issues."
...
:/
Ok.
So if I have a perfect body, I can't show it off, because this will affect people that already have issues with the belief that their body isn't perfect.
H'm ...
So, that turns out great for me. See, as a young girl my face was covered with acne, which forever scarred my skin. To this day I have issues with the way my face looks. I try covering it up with make up, and avoid having pictures taken at certain angles, but the scars are still there. I can't make them go away. I hate them. I hate them. I would love to have perfect skin. But that's impossible.
Does that mean that girls with perfect skin should be forced to cover up their faces with a burka so their heavenly perfect skin won't negatively affect me?
...
I didn't think so.
Also students who get straight A's shouldn't let anyone know about their grades, because that will negatively affect struggling students, right?
...
Yeah, I didn't think so either.
So, why should one have to hide her body because others feel bad about theirs?
(go ahead - shrug)
Issue #2:
"Oh, yeah? Here's a picture of my disgustingly huge tummy 2 months after giving birth! Check out the stretch marks! In your face, b***h!"
...
:/ again.
Ok.
so, if a lady shows off her beautiful body, I should go ahead and show off my shamefully ugly body to somehow get back at her - as if to say, "Hey, look, I am a normal person, and you're just a freak."
It is almost as hysterical as if, after Superman posts a video of himself saving a little boy from falling in the Niagara Falls, some Joe Shmoke posts a video of himself almost drowning while trying to unclog the toilet, as if to say, "Hey, Superman. I am normal, and you're just a freak."
Or, it is almost as hysterical as if, after the Beatles post a video of themselves performing Yesterday (oh, sorry that was Paul McCartney), some Joe Shmoke posts a video of himself going out of key on Happy Birthday to You, as if to say, "Hey, McCartney. I am normal, and you're just a freak."
Now, let's get down to what really matters, people.
Issue #1 - Is her picture real and current? Or is it old or photoshopped? if it is real and current, let her show it off. She deserves it. And it is her body, for crying out loud. If it is old or photoshopped, let her freaking show it. Wishful thinking never killed anyone. The problem will be (and I don't know if that is the case) if she is using that fake picture to somehow promote a product or a lifestyle that is unrealistic. I can agree with anyone that criticizes her on these grounds.
Issue #2 - Is it possible? If it is, "Dang, lady! How do you do that? I can have a baby if you can teach me how to like that 4 days later." I mean, wow. Let me cancel that surrogate mother ad I posted this morning.
Here is a the news piece I read to write this post:
http://servaasschrama.com/2013/12/02/soccer-players-wife-sparks-outrage-in-norway-after-posting-a-sexy-selfie-three-days-after-giving-birth/
To me the real issues are far from what's been freaking out people around the globe. The real issues are - "Is it possible?" followed by "Is it real or photoshop? Or an old picture?"
Now let's go to the issues that are outraging people, and see how senseless and pointless they are:
Issue #1:
"OMG, that will negatively affect young girls, who are already struggling with body and food issues."
...
:/
Ok.
So if I have a perfect body, I can't show it off, because this will affect people that already have issues with the belief that their body isn't perfect.
H'm ...
So, that turns out great for me. See, as a young girl my face was covered with acne, which forever scarred my skin. To this day I have issues with the way my face looks. I try covering it up with make up, and avoid having pictures taken at certain angles, but the scars are still there. I can't make them go away. I hate them. I hate them. I would love to have perfect skin. But that's impossible.
Does that mean that girls with perfect skin should be forced to cover up their faces with a burka so their heavenly perfect skin won't negatively affect me?
...
I didn't think so.
Also students who get straight A's shouldn't let anyone know about their grades, because that will negatively affect struggling students, right?
...
Yeah, I didn't think so either.
So, why should one have to hide her body because others feel bad about theirs?
(go ahead - shrug)
Issue #2:
"Oh, yeah? Here's a picture of my disgustingly huge tummy 2 months after giving birth! Check out the stretch marks! In your face, b***h!"
...
:/ again.
Ok.
so, if a lady shows off her beautiful body, I should go ahead and show off my shamefully ugly body to somehow get back at her - as if to say, "Hey, look, I am a normal person, and you're just a freak."
It is almost as hysterical as if, after Superman posts a video of himself saving a little boy from falling in the Niagara Falls, some Joe Shmoke posts a video of himself almost drowning while trying to unclog the toilet, as if to say, "Hey, Superman. I am normal, and you're just a freak."
Or, it is almost as hysterical as if, after the Beatles post a video of themselves performing Yesterday (oh, sorry that was Paul McCartney), some Joe Shmoke posts a video of himself going out of key on Happy Birthday to You, as if to say, "Hey, McCartney. I am normal, and you're just a freak."
Uh, no, honey, you're doing this wrong. ... In the end, by posting a picture of your ugly tummy, what you're really telling young girls is, "See what happens when you have a baby? Don't stop taking that birth control pill!" Don't worry. I got your message. I'm not stopping.
Now, let's get down to what really matters, people.
Issue #1 - Is her picture real and current? Or is it old or photoshopped? if it is real and current, let her show it off. She deserves it. And it is her body, for crying out loud. If it is old or photoshopped, let her freaking show it. Wishful thinking never killed anyone. The problem will be (and I don't know if that is the case) if she is using that fake picture to somehow promote a product or a lifestyle that is unrealistic. I can agree with anyone that criticizes her on these grounds.
Issue #2 - Is it possible? If it is, "Dang, lady! How do you do that? I can have a baby if you can teach me how to like that 4 days later." I mean, wow. Let me cancel that surrogate mother ad I posted this morning.
Here is a the news piece I read to write this post:
http://servaasschrama.com/2013/12/02/soccer-players-wife-sparks-outrage-in-norway-after-posting-a-sexy-selfie-three-days-after-giving-birth/
Soccer Player’s Wife Sparks Outrage In Norway After Posting A Sexy Selfie Three Days After Giving Birth
Caroline Berg Eriksen, a 26-year-old Norwegian fitness blogger, ignited a heated debate about body image after posting a selfie picture on Instagram three days after giving birth.
Berg Eriksen is married to Norwegian Premier League player Lars-Kristian Eriksen. They had a baby daughter on November 25th.
Three days later, she posted this picture on Instagram with the caption, “I feel so empty and not 4 days after birth.”
The backlash was swift.
Norwegian writer Suzanne Aabel responded with a takedown of the picture for the publication Dagbladet, with the headline, “I feel fat because Soccer Lady has given birth.”
Aabel’s argument is that the picture sets unrealistic expectations for the young women who read Berg Eriksen’s popular “Soccer Lady” website.
She wrote:
“I think it is dangerous. I work with 16 year old girls. They struggle with body and food at some level all together. And they look up to famous people, as adults we almost forgot that we did as teenagers.”
(…)
“Over 70 percent of young women are struggling with low self-esteem and body contempt because only people who look like that here like posting pictures of themselves half naked four days after birth.”
Norwegian politician Gry Larsen spoke out as well, posting a picture of her own stomach on her Facebook with the caption, “Two months after birth #NormalLady.”
She wrote a column for Norway’s largest newspaper, Aftenposten, explaining that she wanted to bring “balance” the way the girls should view the post-baby body.
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Real life terrors
Last week one of the topics discussed by one of my college groups was horror movies and why we watched them ( or not ) .
I never remember how to begin our discussions , but they always end up being fun.
One of my students said her daughter loves to watch horror movies, but then has nightmares .
I like horror movies too. But I rarely have nightmares. What happens to me is a little different . The movies stay in my head and whenever a similar situation happens I get paranoid. It's not fear. Like, who's afraid of the dark? Of course I'm not afraid of the dark . But after spending an hour and a half seeing ghosts appear out of nowhere in the dark , a trip to the washing machine (which is in the basement ) after sunset, is a little freaky. And when I have to leave home to teach at the college! I go out the back door and have to walk along the side of the house in the dark until I get to my car, which is parked in front of house. "It's just a movie, Vikinha, it's just a movie, " I keep saying to myself.
Now that I have a normal teaching job and I can come home at 3 in the afternoon, I spend my afternoon planning classes with Netflix on horror movies. I need the background noise so I can work, but the side effect is an overdose of terrifying images that are impregnated in my head. A day doesn't go by in which I don't have a fright .
Lately I've seen some movies of people get stuck in elevators. In my building , in Brazil , we had an elevator . The elevator was stuck frequently, and I have stayed stuck several times, but nobody ever got stuck for hours . Pretty soon someone from maintenance came to get us out. But I always heard stories of children who died with the severed head or cut in half, because they tried to leave on their own.
The truth is that in many elevators around the world people get stuck for hours or days. The stories I've seen in movies have much of these elevator terrors, but with the aggravating factor that someone always has a terrible secret. I'll never get into an elevator with a peace of mind again.
And although I always remember that everything is just a movie , suddenly a terrible accident like what happened with Paul Walker yesterday reminds me that not everything is just a movie. Real life is really full of terrors. And we are all just too lucky to make it to the end of the day alive. We're just beating the odds, aren't we?
Creepy.
I never remember how to begin our discussions , but they always end up being fun.
One of my students said her daughter loves to watch horror movies, but then has nightmares .
I like horror movies too. But I rarely have nightmares. What happens to me is a little different . The movies stay in my head and whenever a similar situation happens I get paranoid. It's not fear. Like, who's afraid of the dark? Of course I'm not afraid of the dark . But after spending an hour and a half seeing ghosts appear out of nowhere in the dark , a trip to the washing machine (which is in the basement ) after sunset, is a little freaky. And when I have to leave home to teach at the college! I go out the back door and have to walk along the side of the house in the dark until I get to my car, which is parked in front of house. "It's just a movie, Vikinha, it's just a movie, " I keep saying to myself.
Now that I have a normal teaching job and I can come home at 3 in the afternoon, I spend my afternoon planning classes with Netflix on horror movies. I need the background noise so I can work, but the side effect is an overdose of terrifying images that are impregnated in my head. A day doesn't go by in which I don't have a fright .
Lately I've seen some movies of people get stuck in elevators. In my building , in Brazil , we had an elevator . The elevator was stuck frequently, and I have stayed stuck several times, but nobody ever got stuck for hours . Pretty soon someone from maintenance came to get us out. But I always heard stories of children who died with the severed head or cut in half, because they tried to leave on their own.
The truth is that in many elevators around the world people get stuck for hours or days. The stories I've seen in movies have much of these elevator terrors, but with the aggravating factor that someone always has a terrible secret. I'll never get into an elevator with a peace of mind again.
And although I always remember that everything is just a movie , suddenly a terrible accident like what happened with Paul Walker yesterday reminds me that not everything is just a movie. Real life is really full of terrors. And we are all just too lucky to make it to the end of the day alive. We're just beating the odds, aren't we?
Creepy.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
I can't figure out this crazy idea of having babies
 |
| http://www.healthydunia.com/article/1285/27/common_pregnancy_woes.html |
I need to be completely honest and say that every time I hear people talk about all the misery of pregnancy and child-birth and child-rearing, and then put an idiotic smile on their faces and say it is all worth it, I can not help but think they sound pathetic.
Seriously, do people turn stupid after they had children? So you go through nine months of misery, plus the pain of labor, plus the endless sleepless nights with a crying baby that can't say what it wants, plus the fact that your body will NEVER be the same again, so that what? Your child can grow up and treat you like you treated your parents? Really? Is that what you want for your life? If human beings had any sort of self love they would not procreate.
On top of it, this child will blame you for everything wrong that happened in his life, while everyone else will talk about how their children would never get away with that.
Oh, let's not mention sex. How often to post-baby couples have sex?
People say you should take advantage of it now, because you won't have much of it after the baby. Hold it, buddy! Are you trying to talk me into it or out of it? I love sex. I actually don't think I love anything more than sex. Maybe potato chips. And I already don't have enough of it. I don't need an aggravating factor to my already pitiful sex life.
I am quite honestly hoping for God's mercy to not allow me to bear children. This way I don't have to give up my body - which has never been a top model body to start with -, my trips, my life, but I don't have to be the one making that decision.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Electricity
Yesterday I read a post from a friend. It was named "13 Skills Your Grandparents Had That You Don’t".
It was funny, but sad to realize that we have lost so much in so little time. And when you start thinking about it more deeply, how much we have lost of what our race has achieved and passed down for centuries.
Maybe our parents were right when they called us generation X, but our parents are also to blame for not passing down (because they themselves didn't value) the things they learned from their parents.
I started thinking about this when we had that killer Halloween storm 2 years ago and people were freaking out - most of us didn't know how to live without electricity - those who did did it kicking and screaming, not worried about expressing their anger.
It is scary to admit that but the countries like America (and countries like Brazil to a lesser degree) have lost the ability to live without electricity. Seriously - if, like in the shows Revolution and American Blackout, suddenly power went out, and no one knew how to bring it back on - how many of us would have no idea of what to do?
To start with, most of our data - the kind we know how to use - would be gone. Most of our menial daily activities would not be able to be performed. Most of our food would rot. How many of us would survive?
The simple population that lives in the wilderness would. Those of us, city dwellers, so full of our arrogance and our progress, would probably all be dead in a few weeks - of exposure, starvation or just violence that would sprung from our own despair.
Isn't it sad how much of 5 millenia of progress we have lost (or abandoned) in less than 2 centuries of electricity?
It was funny, but sad to realize that we have lost so much in so little time. And when you start thinking about it more deeply, how much we have lost of what our race has achieved and passed down for centuries.
Maybe our parents were right when they called us generation X, but our parents are also to blame for not passing down (because they themselves didn't value) the things they learned from their parents.
I started thinking about this when we had that killer Halloween storm 2 years ago and people were freaking out - most of us didn't know how to live without electricity - those who did did it kicking and screaming, not worried about expressing their anger.
It is scary to admit that but the countries like America (and countries like Brazil to a lesser degree) have lost the ability to live without electricity. Seriously - if, like in the shows Revolution and American Blackout, suddenly power went out, and no one knew how to bring it back on - how many of us would have no idea of what to do?
To start with, most of our data - the kind we know how to use - would be gone. Most of our menial daily activities would not be able to be performed. Most of our food would rot. How many of us would survive?
The simple population that lives in the wilderness would. Those of us, city dwellers, so full of our arrogance and our progress, would probably all be dead in a few weeks - of exposure, starvation or just violence that would sprung from our own despair.
Isn't it sad how much of 5 millenia of progress we have lost (or abandoned) in less than 2 centuries of electricity?
Monday, November 11, 2013
The danger of Xmas cards
Saturday morning my Christmas cards arrived. Well, then I put myself to work in the dangerous task of enveloping Christmas cards. The worst part of preparing the Christmas cards is the dangerous manipulation of envelopes.
What? It's too early to worry about Xmas cards? Not really. I consider this an achievement. Previously I considered ordering cards before Christmas a feat. Now the feat is to order the cards with enough time to send them to Brazil. Maybe if I send them tomorrow, they get there before Christmas. No, friends, when it comes to sending things to Brazil, nothing is too early. Send them three months in advance and pray that they get there this year. If they ever even get there.
But as I was saying, the worst part of preparing the Christmas cards is the dangerous manipulation of envelopes. Yes, envelopes are extremely dangerous tools. And its rampant handling during the holidays is a threat to the physical integrity of people who manipulate them.
Tongue, lips and fingers, are all showing different sorts of damage caused by renowned paper cutting.
Paper is a very powerful sharp object . It cuts with such power that is requires only a slight rubbing of the cutting part of the paper on the skin in any unwary user.
The worst part of it is how much it hurts . The paper cut hurts like misery. I've cut myself with a razor blade before...
I am here obliged to clarify confusion in the boys' minds. Yes, women also use razors, guys! Surprised? Thought we only used Veet or wax? Okay, some of us even use those, but there are parts of our body that we can not go in and wax, and I would not dare use Veet. Then what do you do? How do you guys think we do to stay smooth? I can guarantee to you guys it is not because of our Indian blood. Most girls you know do not have much of that Indian heritage. In my family, to my disgrace, indigenous heritage was left there with my grandmother. The hairs that do not ever whiten, the skin that never gets old... My family turned white, and with whiteness came all the setbacks of the white race. The worst thing is not it... I was also left with the setbacks of the black race - the kind of stink that only black people have. yes, the setbacks of my rich colorful heritage was all that was perpetuated in my genetic make. I feel sorry for my future children - they will only inherit the trash of my mixed ancestry.
But I must confine myself to the subject of the razor . The question is - since most of us are not Indians - except on April 19 - shaving is necessary. So I have had my share or razor cuts. And I can say without fear of error that the paper cut is more painful than the razor cut.
What? It's too early to worry about Xmas cards? Not really. I consider this an achievement. Previously I considered ordering cards before Christmas a feat. Now the feat is to order the cards with enough time to send them to Brazil. Maybe if I send them tomorrow, they get there before Christmas. No, friends, when it comes to sending things to Brazil, nothing is too early. Send them three months in advance and pray that they get there this year. If they ever even get there.
But as I was saying, the worst part of preparing the Christmas cards is the dangerous manipulation of envelopes. Yes, envelopes are extremely dangerous tools. And its rampant handling during the holidays is a threat to the physical integrity of people who manipulate them.
Tongue, lips and fingers, are all showing different sorts of damage caused by renowned paper cutting.
Paper is a very powerful sharp object . It cuts with such power that is requires only a slight rubbing of the cutting part of the paper on the skin in any unwary user.
The worst part of it is how much it hurts . The paper cut hurts like misery. I've cut myself with a razor blade before...
I am here obliged to clarify confusion in the boys' minds. Yes, women also use razors, guys! Surprised? Thought we only used Veet or wax? Okay, some of us even use those, but there are parts of our body that we can not go in and wax, and I would not dare use Veet. Then what do you do? How do you guys think we do to stay smooth? I can guarantee to you guys it is not because of our Indian blood. Most girls you know do not have much of that Indian heritage. In my family, to my disgrace, indigenous heritage was left there with my grandmother. The hairs that do not ever whiten, the skin that never gets old... My family turned white, and with whiteness came all the setbacks of the white race. The worst thing is not it... I was also left with the setbacks of the black race - the kind of stink that only black people have. yes, the setbacks of my rich colorful heritage was all that was perpetuated in my genetic make. I feel sorry for my future children - they will only inherit the trash of my mixed ancestry.
But I must confine myself to the subject of the razor . The question is - since most of us are not Indians - except on April 19 - shaving is necessary. So I have had my share or razor cuts. And I can say without fear of error that the paper cut is more painful than the razor cut.
Monday, November 04, 2013
from the bottom of the toy chest
This one came from the bottom of the toy chest. I was watching my soap opera from hell - the one that condones homosexuality and free sex... "Wait, " you say. " Which one ? All of them condone homosexuality and free sex. "
...
:/ < - My face looking back at you after what you said.
Okay. You won. So I was watching my 7 o'clock soap opera from hell , and remembering the days when you could still let the kids watch the 7 o'clock soap opera (today not even of 6 o'clock soap is safe any more...) It was then that I also remembered the funny way we organized shower time at home.
At home we showered by commercials. You 'd have to be ready to enter the shower, by the bathroom door, wrapped in towel, waiting for the commercial break. Did the first block end?
"TV off! TV off! Quick to the shower! Hurry so we don't miss the start of the next block!"
And that shower was a rushed one. The whole family waiting for you to end the shower, so they could turn the TV back on. And when u turned off the shower, you'd shout from in there "I'M DONE!" So others could watch the next block of the novela. And if you wanted to watch it too, you'd run out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your body, to the front of the TV.
Meanwhile, the next in line was already undressing, moving toward the bathroom door, to get ready for the next commercial break.
And so were the showers at home - from break to break, so we didn't cause a power outage. Whether it was truth or superstition, I do not know . Nowadays we do not do that anymore .
Memories of my childhood ... This was a good one.
I told this story to my husband and he burst out laughing - "What a terrible electrical system, huh!"
...
:/ < - My face looking back at you after what you said.
Okay. You won. So I was watching my 7 o'clock soap opera from hell , and remembering the days when you could still let the kids watch the 7 o'clock soap opera (today not even of 6 o'clock soap is safe any more...) It was then that I also remembered the funny way we organized shower time at home.
At home we showered by commercials. You 'd have to be ready to enter the shower, by the bathroom door, wrapped in towel, waiting for the commercial break. Did the first block end?
"TV off! TV off! Quick to the shower! Hurry so we don't miss the start of the next block!"
And that shower was a rushed one. The whole family waiting for you to end the shower, so they could turn the TV back on. And when u turned off the shower, you'd shout from in there "I'M DONE!" So others could watch the next block of the novela. And if you wanted to watch it too, you'd run out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around your body, to the front of the TV.
Meanwhile, the next in line was already undressing, moving toward the bathroom door, to get ready for the next commercial break.
And so were the showers at home - from break to break, so we didn't cause a power outage. Whether it was truth or superstition, I do not know . Nowadays we do not do that anymore .
Memories of my childhood ... This was a good one.
I told this story to my husband and he burst out laughing - "What a terrible electrical system, huh!"
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Evil evil Charlotte
Right outside my house door lives a monster - a huge ugly scary spider my husband refuses to kill, despite my constant begging and crying. He calls her Charlotte and he says she's our friend.Our friend? I have no friend named Charlotte! I have never had a friend named Charlotte. And if I do ever have a friend named Charlotte, I will have her name changed to Carla.
I once read the story of Charlotte to my students at school. At end I asked them how they felt. So in return they asked me how I feel.
"Me? You don't want to know."
"Come on, Mrs. Winters."
The kids laughed. The kids of today are not as sensitive as the kids from Charlotte's day I guess.
Then we watched the movie, and I cried like a baby at the end. And the kids were like, "But, Miss, we thought you didn't like spiders!"
"Well, yeah, kids, it's a movie, ok!!!"
Monday, October 07, 2013
Goodbye, goodbye, see you someday.
Whenever September Ends I get one wanting more in the mouth.
The Big E Fair makes me so homesick. Do I miss the fair itself? Not so much. I like going to the fair to see people, see novelties, walk, go on rides (which I haven't yet, because I never remember to bring money for the tickets, and also bc my husband - who is always my date - does not like to go on toys (where's Léa Sylvia at a time like this?)
But the most nostalgic for me is the food.
I wish I could go back two weeks in time and buy one more cheese curd. Just another smoked salmon, plus a lobster sandwich, plus a Maine baked potato, just another little snack ... I miss it!!!
The Big E Fair makes me so homesick. Do I miss the fair itself? Not so much. I like going to the fair to see people, see novelties, walk, go on rides (which I haven't yet, because I never remember to bring money for the tickets, and also bc my husband - who is always my date - does not like to go on toys (where's Léa Sylvia at a time like this?)
But the most nostalgic for me is the food.
I wish I could go back two weeks in time and buy one more cheese curd. Just another smoked salmon, plus a lobster sandwich, plus a Maine baked potato, just another little snack ... I miss it!!!
Sunday, September 29, 2013
sick as a dog
IN my last post I talked about the un-lived life.
If anyone is wondering why I have been absent from my blog for the past week - I have been sick and I have been working like a slave to get all my lessons ready in time. Talk about un-lived life.
Next semester I might quit my college classes.
I had to cancel the classes I was registered to take, because I just had no time for them at all.
I also haven't started my language lessons or my guitar lessons, just because I can't find the time.
I am trying to find time to cook and do groceries ... after all we have to eat. I guess ...
Well, bot all is lost.
Baby and I have done 2 Big E dates where we ate like we have a hole in our stomach, and discovered a new sushi place.
We also went to see a scary movie and took a few drives to see land. I am not sure we are ever going to buy anything, but we are looking at a lot of them.
If anyone is wondering why I have been absent from my blog for the past week - I have been sick and I have been working like a slave to get all my lessons ready in time. Talk about un-lived life.
Next semester I might quit my college classes.
I had to cancel the classes I was registered to take, because I just had no time for them at all.
I also haven't started my language lessons or my guitar lessons, just because I can't find the time.
I am trying to find time to cook and do groceries ... after all we have to eat. I guess ...
Well, bot all is lost.
Baby and I have done 2 Big E dates where we ate like we have a hole in our stomach, and discovered a new sushi place.
We also went to see a scary movie and took a few drives to see land. I am not sure we are ever going to buy anything, but we are looking at a lot of them.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Un-lived life
The only certain thing in life is that we are going to die - and yet we live our lives as if this would never happen. Worse - we live our lives without having fully lived. When death comes to you, what will there won't be an extra minute to finishing up the unfinished life; there won't be an extra day to do the things you left for later. Nothing can be worse than meeting death without having truly lived.
(thought about that after watching a novela where this young lady finds out she only has 6 months to live. Made me think of my life, and what if that happened to me? What would I have to claim as my life really?)
(thought about that after watching a novela where this young lady finds out she only has 6 months to live. Made me think of my life, and what if that happened to me? What would I have to claim as my life really?)
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Love my high heels and my new job
It's been a week and a half into the school year and I don't hate my job and don't dread going back to work. That feels so good! So different from my previous job that I almost feel like I am in heaven.
I also feel great about the fact that I am in a job where I can dress up and wear my high heels. I LOVE wearing high heels. The only caveat is that after 12 hours on top of those 3-inch tall things I want to throw them out the window. The solution is easy - don't spend the whole day out. I go to school in the morning, come home, then go to college in the evening.
It has been crazy, still, but I am getting my routine down, step by step.
I also feel great about the fact that I am in a job where I can dress up and wear my high heels. I LOVE wearing high heels. The only caveat is that after 12 hours on top of those 3-inch tall things I want to throw them out the window. The solution is easy - don't spend the whole day out. I go to school in the morning, come home, then go to college in the evening.
It has been crazy, still, but I am getting my routine down, step by step.
Sunday, September 01, 2013
A man must travel
This is why there is a blog called www.vikastraveldiaries.blogspot.com
“The one thing that would have been worse than to be cold floating up and down the waves south of the Indian Ocean, would have been not
having made this far, or never having left the warm and comfortable
waters of Paraty – even if only to find out how warm and
comfortable they were. I felt oddly well as I sailed around the ice that was so far away from home. Today I understand my father. A man must
travel, on his own, not through stories, images, books or TV. He must
travel himself, with his eyes and feet, to understand that which is
his. So that one day he can plant his own trees and value them. He
must know the cold so the can enjoy the heat. He
must feel distance and displacement, so he can feel well under his
own roof. A man must travel to places he doesn't know to break the
arrogance that makes us see the world the way we imagine it, instead
of simply the way it is or could be; the arrogance that makes us be teachers and
doctors of things we have never seen, when we should be instead students, simply going and seeing.” Amyr Klink (Endless Sea)
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Woman vs Cat
Day 1
Decided to attempt putting that baby gate thing on the door.
Directions called for tools and holes on the door frame. But, as I thought, the gate was up and firmly held with no tools or holes on the wall.
Cat was a bit freaked out about it.
Husband guessed Cat would jump right over it.
Day 2
Cat didn't try to jump.
By 1 the morning she made a fuss about it, crying and whining.
At around 1:30, husband gave in and let cat in the room.
Tonight, husband will not be sleeping at home. I will try it alone.
Day 3
This cat is a f***ing psycho! She whined all f***ing night.
You'd think she'd give up and sleep on the bed I've set by the door. Wrong! It was 7 am and she kept on whining! Weirdo! Wacko! Psycho!
Now she is fast asleep on the living room couch. Getting rested to haunt me tonight, I suppose.
Decided to attempt putting that baby gate thing on the door.
Directions called for tools and holes on the door frame. But, as I thought, the gate was up and firmly held with no tools or holes on the wall.
Cat was a bit freaked out about it.
Husband guessed Cat would jump right over it.
Day 2
Cat didn't try to jump.
By 1 the morning she made a fuss about it, crying and whining.
At around 1:30, husband gave in and let cat in the room.
Tonight, husband will not be sleeping at home. I will try it alone.
Day 3
This cat is a f***ing psycho! She whined all f***ing night.
You'd think she'd give up and sleep on the bed I've set by the door. Wrong! It was 7 am and she kept on whining! Weirdo! Wacko! Psycho!
Now she is fast asleep on the living room couch. Getting rested to haunt me tonight, I suppose.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
tech clueless
A friend from work seems to think I am some sort of techonology genius. That is because I am always helping her figure out some tech glitch in her iPhone or computer ...
The thing is: Most times I have no idea what I have done...
She goes like, "Wow! How on earth did you do that?"
I look back at her with a blank stare ... "I just moved my finger around."
Truth is, I get a lot of things done in the computer, but most of the times, if you ask me how I did it, I will have to say I have not a blipping clue.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
ESCALATORPHOBIA
Is this a made-up word?
Sorry, maybe it is, but that is what I call what I have.
And how relieved I was this past trip to Brazil when I noticed that grandma has a little bit of it too. So does my best friend Lua.
You can tell when someone has it:
They stop and hesitate right before going on the escalator,
they evaluate when to take the first step carefully,
and, upon nearing the end of the trip,
they focus all their attention on the exiting process.
ESCALATORPHOBIA
Once when I was little, I was at the mall with mom, and, out of the blue, I froze at the top of the escalator. Mom took off and I froze.
My brain was going like: "How again do I do this?" While I stood at the top and ... began to cry.
Yup,
ESCALATORPHOBIA
Sunday, August 04, 2013
ADHD is a pain
It is frustrating to realize that you're talking to someone and have no idea what the person is saying, not because you do not remember, but because something she said made your mind travel to Mars.
Luana always used to complain that I never paid attention when she talked to me. But, yes, I did ... for about 30 seconds. Then I flew away.
"Vika! Pay attention!"
"Hi! Paying attention, dammit!"
But, really, Luana can spit more words per second than I can ... No son of God can handle that.
It is also frustrating to read a book and go back to the top of the page a thousand times. Because you read everything not paying attention to anything - or paying attention to everything, even the thing which is not there, but found its way into your imagination while your eyes saw the words in the book.
Welcome to my world.
Always wondered how all my classmates knew about the science fair, except for me? "When did Ms. say that? Where was my mind?"
And everyone went crazy whenever I changed the subject all the time? Went crazy? My husband would put this verb in the present.
Self-diagnosed? Yes, but I'm almost 100% sure I have ADHD.
Luana always used to complain that I never paid attention when she talked to me. But, yes, I did ... for about 30 seconds. Then I flew away.
"Vika! Pay attention!"
"Hi! Paying attention, dammit!"
But, really, Luana can spit more words per second than I can ... No son of God can handle that.
It is also frustrating to read a book and go back to the top of the page a thousand times. Because you read everything not paying attention to anything - or paying attention to everything, even the thing which is not there, but found its way into your imagination while your eyes saw the words in the book.
Welcome to my world.
And everyone went crazy whenever I changed the subject all the time? Went crazy? My husband would put this verb in the present.
Self-diagnosed? Yes, but I'm almost 100% sure I have ADHD.
Monday, July 29, 2013
airport sorrows
In June I traveled to Brazil on my own - carrying a backpack and a small hand suitcase.
And there I was, feeling sorry for myself because I had to go in the bathroom carrying 2 hand-luggage with me, when I saw a mother of four young kids leaving the bathroom - trying to keep them all under control.
That's when I realized how good I had it.
And there I was, feeling sorry for myself because I had to go in the bathroom carrying 2 hand-luggage with me, when I saw a mother of four young kids leaving the bathroom - trying to keep them all under control.
That's when I realized how good I had it.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
time to go back
There is not a single time that the plane takes off from Salvador that I don't cry like a baby.
How can I not? How can I not look down at the place where I grew up and see it disappear down below without letting my emotions take the best of me.
I never cry in front of my family. I hold back as much as I can when we are saying goodbye.
But I just can't help it when I look out the window and see everything being left behind. My beach. My people. My friends. My family... Everything I chose to leave one day. ...
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Tuesday, July 9th, 2013
Paul is playing in Boston tonight. I wish I was there.
Mom made fried plantains for breakfast.I stayed home all day waiting for a friend who promised she was coming by. she didn't really. JP had appointments in the morning- mom took him and I stayed home and ... tried to study. while I waited for my friend. I studied and and she the stuff mom bought me the day before - candy, yogurt, Taff-Man E, guava ...
this ain't gonna turn out well - sit down on the couch with a book and eat ... eat east eat eat eat...
then in had lunch, then I ate all afternoon again while I studied.
in the evening mom's belly dancing teacher came. we talked for a while. then we picked up JP and went out to ... EAT! we had moqueca!
Too much eating.
Came home and played War games till midnight.
Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Studying in the morning. ... and eating snacks. After lunch mom drove me to Salvador. We met gramms and Lelas at the mall and had a snack at the Arabic place.
In the evening I went to the mall with Luana and met her boyfriend Tulio. We had dinner at Bonaparte. We talked , talked , talked, talked, and talked. Then we had another snack at the cheese bread place. Talked, talked, talked, talked. when they were closing the mall, she drove me home and we talked, talked, talked, talked, talked, and talked.
Then I came home and studied till 3:30am.
Thursday, July 11th, 2013
Up by 7. breakfast with Gramms. She made French Toast!!!!!!! Then out to the mall to get my married name ID card. Today was national strike day, but only union workers and businesses located around the demonstration route, like my aunt's place.
We sat down to eat s snack - cheese bread and black&white candy (casadinho) with a very rich cappuccino. We walked a little bit, then Aunt Lea came for lunch at Outback. We walked in the mall till evening. home for dinner.
Friday, July 12th, 2013
beauty salon all morning - that's like torture... lunch at the theater lunch - typical Bahia Friday food, plus desert.
home and sat down to study. ... and ate snacks all afternoon. Evening - out for dinner with my generation part of the fam.
Saturday, July 14th, 2013
Tried to study in the morning. But really I went out with gramms to buy stuff for tomorrow's lunch. Also bought snacks. Aunt Lea picked us up, we bought more snack at the dairy house, and went home for.... LUNCH!!!!! Sat down to study .... chatted with Aunt Lea about next year's trip. Lelas came with his wife and we chatted till midnight... and ate.
I did homework till 2:30 am. Had to stop at 2:30 am BC nothing I wrote made sense anymore.
Sunday, July 14th, 2013
Yam for breakfast!
Did the rest of my homework this morning while Aunt Inaja made my suitcase.
in the afternoon we sang karaoke and and snacks. Aunt Mima and Catarina came too.
Last day... I'm already missing my family time. But I have also gained six pounds ... when these are gone I won't miss them ... oh, dear....
Finally we played games and sang karaoke all night.
Paul is playing in Boston tonight. I wish I was there.
Mom made fried plantains for breakfast.I stayed home all day waiting for a friend who promised she was coming by. she didn't really. JP had appointments in the morning- mom took him and I stayed home and ... tried to study. while I waited for my friend. I studied and and she the stuff mom bought me the day before - candy, yogurt, Taff-Man E, guava ... 
then in had lunch, then I ate all afternoon again while I studied.
in the evening mom's belly dancing teacher came. we talked for a while. then we picked up JP and went out to ... EAT! we had moqueca!
Came home and played War games till midnight.
Wednesday, July 10th, 2013
Studying in the morning. ... and eating snacks. After lunch mom drove me to Salvador. We met gramms and Lelas at the mall and had a snack at the Arabic place.
Then I came home and studied till 3:30am.
Thursday, July 11th, 2013
Up by 7. breakfast with Gramms. She made French Toast!!!!!!! Then out to the mall to get my married name ID card. Today was national strike day, but only union workers and businesses located around the demonstration route, like my aunt's place.
We sat down to eat s snack - cheese bread and black&white candy (casadinho) with a very rich cappuccino. We walked a little bit, then Aunt Lea came for lunch at Outback. We walked in the mall till evening. home for dinner.Friday, July 12th, 2013
beauty salon all morning - that's like torture... lunch at the theater lunch - typical Bahia Friday food, plus desert.
home and sat down to study. ... and ate snacks all afternoon. Evening - out for dinner with my generation part of the fam.
Saturday, July 14th, 2013
Tried to study in the morning. But really I went out with gramms to buy stuff for tomorrow's lunch. Also bought snacks. Aunt Lea picked us up, we bought more snack at the dairy house, and went home for.... LUNCH!!!!! Sat down to study .... chatted with Aunt Lea about next year's trip. Lelas came with his wife and we chatted till midnight... and ate.
I did homework till 2:30 am. Had to stop at 2:30 am BC nothing I wrote made sense anymore.Sunday, July 14th, 2013
Yam for breakfast!
Did the rest of my homework this morning while Aunt Inaja made my suitcase.
in the afternoon we sang karaoke and and snacks. Aunt Mima and Catarina came too.
Last day... I'm already missing my family time. But I have also gained six pounds ... when these are gone I won't miss them ... oh, dear....
Finally we played games and sang karaoke all night.
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