And I didn't speak up, for I am no racist

I'm not a racist. I'm actually against racism. I am also against sex before marriage.
But I can not be quiet when I see certain things. I am against punishing a racist bc of anything said in the privacy of a conversation with his girlfriend, recorded illegally. And I am against the arresting of a man for having sex with his wife when they were dating and she was underage.

Maybe you haven't heard of the guy who was arrested for statutory rape. It did happen. In a world in which every boyfriend and girlfriend have pre-marital sex, the married guy is going to jail for having had sex with his wife before they were married. They are married! The marriage is legal and had the consent of the girl's parents. But now we are going to arrest him for what they did in private before they were married ... There are greater sins than that going unpunished in Washington DC!






We have to have common sense , people. The world is turning upside down and we are entering the cute little dance.
We are acting as the Greeks who condemned to death one of the greatest philosophers of our history. Acting with herd mentality, without thinking, condemning all who have unpopular ideas . Nowadays all we need is for something to smell racist, to vaguely resemble racism, for people to be ostracized - banned from society.
So thoughts are now a crime? And private conversations are now a crime?
You must be thinking , "Sure, right, Vika ! Nobody likes racism, and racists must be punished no matter how. No?"
No. It's not like that. People should have the right to express their feelings in private, even if that feeling is spurious and unpopular. It is the principle of privacy that goes here, folks. The moment u nullify this principle, anything goes and everyone can be convicted of anything. Just imagine - the way public opinion is ever-changing, what happens if one thing that you said in your home is recorded by a loved one and brought to TV. Now you are in the wrong side of public opinion... heads will roll.
So instead of u find the maximum a filthy racist was punished for his spurious attitude, remember that it has much more at stake than our popular vengeance. Remember this poem :

First They Came....

by Martin Niemöller

In Germany they came first for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up.

The nerd of today

This song from Brazil is very interesting:

"Today's nerd is tomorrow's rich guy
Today's nerd is tomorrow's gorgeous face
Today's nerd of today is tomorow's good husband"

Fact - not all nerds of today will go on to get rich, look gorgeous or be good husbands tomorrow, but they are those who have the most chances. Of course it takes more than just being a nerd - he has to have will power, perseverance and responsibility. But let's consider the odds of the other guys.

The guys who think they are awesome may even marry you and become fathers, but they will also have a bitch on every corner.

The guys who do not like to study and are not afraid of danger - the dare-devils that so impress young girls - they will either die young or end up in a little dead-end job, watching football over the weekend, with a six-pack of beer on their side.

Are you looking for a good future, honey? Try a nerd.

Finger healing process

A week before our AZ vacation I was sick with a cold or the flu or something. I was really sick, I had no voice and fever and the whole 9 yards.
So, I tried to take as much medication as I could, so I would not start my vacation sick as a dog. I ws drinking ginger and lemon tea, gargling with salt water, and taking fever reducing pills.
Well, here is where my problem started. Those damn pills. Have you ever tried taking a dayquil pill out of its pocket?
Those protective papers are so strong they seemed to be there to protect gold!
I tried opening the darn thing with my bare hands to no avail.
"Well,"I thought, "Fine. Let's see who's stronger here, stupid little thing." So I opened my kitchen drawer and grabbed a knife.
And I dug the knife into the pill pocket. I mean, I intended to dig the knife into the pill pocket. It slid on the pocket impenetrable protective paper and sliced my finger tip.

You know when you immediately realized you did something very - very stupid? hat was when I felt the blade burning through my skin. "You idiot!" That was my brain.

Hubby was right there on the other side of the kitchen doing something at the sink.

"Dean!!!" I screamed holding my finger in terror.

Not realizing the gravity of the situation, Dean, jokes, "What did you do?"

"Something really, really stupid."

I guess Dean figured out I had done something really really stupid when he saw me holding my finger with my eyes closed (afraid to see something very unpleasant), and the knife on the table.


So next thing you know, Dean is dropping everything on the floor on a desperate search for medicine - which I knew exactly where it was.


Meanwhile I had my finger under the running water. At this point I finally opened my eyes. Just to close them again after seeing blood gushing down my finger.

Well, it is all healed now. I took pictures through out the healing process, wondering if it would in fact ever heal. It did. But I will have a scar. A little story to tell my kids and grand kinds about how not to handle a knife.

The pseudo-Christian society wants to marry

This blog is a continuation of last week's, when I started to question why adultery used to be considered a crime in my home country Brazil - an idea that has always seemed absurd to me.After having, with my limited legal knowledge, explained how I came to understand this question, I began to wonder why people want to commit this folly called marriage.Marriage has been extremely unfashionable for a while, and that is precisely because people did not want to get stuck by a paper - a contract.If u do not want to have to deal with the law in your sex life, do not subject yourself to it. Do not marry.If u 're marrying before civil law, you're marrying before the law of men - this law that decided to recognize a religious institution as having legal value and legal privileges. So if you want to put the hand in this mess, you are admitting before the law that will be entering into a monogamous sexual relationship. Do you not believe in monogamy? Your problem. Whether you're gay or straight (since today the law recognizes gay marriage), marriage is a leash. If you do not want to get stuck, why are you marrying?Nowadays free sex, outside of marriage, is still preached - as it was done in the 70s and 80s. But it seems that marriage fashionable again.I wonder why people still get married. If they want to have sex and or stop having sex at will, why do they want to enter into a civil contract that requires exclusiveness? Worse still, a civil contract which has religious origin, and religion is against the sexual permissiveness that are so dear to them? Why do people who are in favor of sexual  freedom want to enter a contract originated in an institution in which they do not believe?It's all a bit confusing in our post-Christian society, or pseudo-Christian. Even this schizophrenically secular-religious institution is confusing. It was considered outdated until the gay movement resolved to enter. Now marriage is the watchword. The people want to marry and have the right to adopt or rent tummies. Nobody remembers that the marriage contract comes with the privileges, but also with duties - including sexual exclusivity (which should indeed have come  with sexual abstinence before contract ) .

Is adultery a crime?

In Brazil there was a time when that adultery was a crime. I am not familiar enough with American laws to know whether it is or it was ever a crime here in the US. However I always found this criminalization kind of absurd. Adultery is a sin, yes. But a crime? How can it be a crime that a person is sexually involved with another? Crime is stealing, killing... but having sex?
Whether I have sex or not, and with whom is a personal matter. ... Right? And sex only with a spouse is a religious issue. After all, it is the religion that dictates that people should only have sex with their legitimate spouse. Why then is the civil law, which is secular, worried about this matter?
It was then that I realized that civil law also cared about the legalization of marriage. So it all made sense. What made no sense was to want adultery not to be considered a crime.
Think with me:
Marriage in our society is a social contract, determined by the law of such society. So much so that we refer to this contract in Brazil as "civil marriage". You can even get married in a church - which we call "religious wedding" - but today, if you do not sign the legal marriage papers, your marriage has no legal value (although there was a time when the religious wedding itself had already Marital validity - do not know if that was changed to make the state more secular, but that's beside the point).
According to the civil law, when signing the marriage contract - made ​​before a judge and witnesses - the two contracting parties undertake the establishing, with one another, of certain relationships in an exclusive manner. This contract also entitles both parties with certain financial privileges, but only if the contractual obligations of exclusivity are maintained. Sexual intercourse is one of the exclusive relationships that the contracting parties have committed to establish.
The sex outside marriage therefore constitutes a breach of this contract. Thus, a party who entered into the contract out sexual relationship, has broken a civil law - which is a crime .
Well, maybe my legal vocabulary is a little muddled. I know there are different words for different degrees of breaking the law, and I do not know if crime is the correct word for a breach of contract. But the central idea is roughly this: that adultery is illegal because it constitutes a breach of a contract with legal value.
The current 6 o'clock novela in Brazil depicts the decades of 30 and 40, when Brazilian society, especially the feminist movement, questioned the law of adultery as being too hard on women. Women went to jail, men walked. So instead of asking for the same punishment for men, they fought to end the punishment all together. Why? Why not punish the breach of a contract by either party?
My interpretation is that people do not understand that by signing a civil contract before witnesses and a judge, they can not break it at will. Marriage is no longer a personal or religious thing when it is recognized by the law as a civil contract.

Superhero

Superman , Spider-man , Batman .... none of these superheroes will ever take the place of my favorite superhero - Indiana Jones .
He never needed super powers or a utility belt, and never even bothered to wear his underwear over tight pants.
All he needed was a sense of adventure, a degree in archeology, and cunning (not to confuse the derogatory sense of the word, I will add its synonym - wisdom, but not that of experienced people, which comes with years of life, but that which comes with studying and applying studies to real life).
Indy has never been a model human being as superheroes are. His relationship with his father (James Bond) was never very good, and the only permanent woman in his life complains that he took advantage of her naivety. He was just a normal guy with qualities and defects like any normal guy. You'd even think he was real.
Thanks to the Indiana Jones films, two of my favorite professions when asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" were "Archaeologist." and "Adventuress."
Little did I know that archeology had more to do with studying and teaching university that breaking with haunted forests and tombs and fighting against the Nazis.
Little did I know that adventure was not really a profession and that nobody wins salary to be adventurous. Adventurous people are either luckily rich, or absolutely broke.  

But who cares about these things before the age of 10?

Every thought in your mind

What if someone could hear every thought in your mind? You know, everyone - including those you don't want to admit to yourself that are yours; those that make you embarrassed of actually admitting they have sprung from your mind. Those that make you not even recognize yourself as the person you think you are,  because they are so evil, selfish, stingy, cruel, and insensitive.

Can you imagine if someone you consider a friend could know every thought in your mind? Would you still have a friend?

Everyone should have more sex

I really think everyone should have more sex.

I know, the sex issue is a taboo. But I have to say it. I think everyone should have more sex, because sex is so good. Why don't we encourage people to have more sex? It is healthy, it is good, and it is fun.
Instead we make it sound dirty, shameful and dangerous to your heart.

Do you know why? Because from a religious perspective (I say religious, bc I know it is not only Christianity that claims that sex is a right of married people), to have sex, people should be married. Why don't we encourage everyone to get married? Because if we encourage people to get married just so they can have sex, we might be encouraging irresponsible jump-in marriages which, in today's no-one-takes-responsibility-for-anything society, means we are encouraging the growth of divorce.

Well, if you are religious however, think with me - what is wrong with encouraging people to get married just so they can have sex? Isnt'it better than telling people to hold it and then risking them having sex out of wedlock, with one, two, three, 10, 20 people? Telling them to wait till they are 25 or till they have a PhD or a lamborghini sitting in their driveways is dangerous? Why? Because, I am sorry, but, asking someone on fire to wait 10 or 20 more years to put it out is a bit mean - they might just bot be able to hold it for that long.

Yes, society today makes divorce way too easy, but it is your responsibility to stay married. I think it is easier to stay married than to stay virgin.

God created sex, and the thing is good as h... wait, no, not hell. It is f-ing good, literally. God would not create something that good and have us wait halfway through our sexually mature days to use it. And if God created and God put the desire in us, it is only natural that it is so hard to resist.

Of course, I am not saying that so you can encourage your 15-year-old daughter to marry her dead-end loser  boyfriend just so they can have sex. That is not what I am talking about. Don't marry an idiot just because he is hot. I'm talking about meeting someone nice, and not waiting 10 or 15 years until you are both ready (finances, education, all that crap). I'm talking about getting married and getting busy. And also getting out of your parents' house, because they are not really interested in listening to your love-making every night and washing your bedding covered in that goo that comes out afterwards. I know I wouldn't be.

And if you are married, why in the world are you sitting here reading this post? This is why all these marriages end up in divorce - people are too busy doing things other than sex.

Come one, go on, get busy with the hot stuff that you married.
...
What are you still doing here? GO! NOW!

My apologies, but Stop apologizing!

I am so tired of everyone apologizing for everything.

The latest thing I have seen was Steve Martin - a comedian - apologized for a racist comment when he joked about the spelling of a word depending on where in NYC one is (implying of course, a difference between black and Italian populations)

Someone wrote, "Is this how you spell lasonia?"
Martin replied, "It depends. Are you in an African-American neighborhood or at an Italian restaurant."

People got offended and he came out apologizing.
WEEK OF APOLOGIES - This Video shows it all.

Stop! Stop apologizing. Goodness gracious!

Don't apologize for a joke about stereotypes.

Don't apologize for a joke about Romney's grandchild either.

Now, yeah, if you make a joke about not getting aids for being white, and you work for an HR company, then your words are actually representing your company. In this case, I am afraid you might get rightfully fired.

But don't apologize for having more whites than blacks in your show (that was Jerry Seinfeld - and by the way, he didn't apologize. He made sure he pointed out this is not the census. I love Seinfeld!)

Stop apologizing, people.

If you are a comedian - it is your job to make fun of stereotypes. I don't like when they make jokes with Christians. I don't like it and I don't demand an apology. I just don't like it. I will wait for the next joke, something about Muslims or blondes.

If you're not a comedian, you still have the right speak your mind. And if people don't like it they, wil have to live with it.

But, if you write a poem slandering someone because of their expressing their opinion, then that is okay. Slandering people, calling people names, because you don't agree with their views, that is okay.


Uh, things are a little messed up here. Actually, slander is not covered by the freedom of speech amendment.


That guy from Duck Dinasty got hammered because he said a man's anus was not as good as a women's vagina. Yes, that is freedom of speech.
Also because he said that his Bible, from his religion (which is widely available to anyone in the US), says that homosexuals, people who commit bestiality, and others are going to hell. He didn't even make that up. It is not even his opinion. It's the religion he subscribes too. Last time I checked it was still free to subscribe to a religion in America.

He didn't even suggest we should do something bad to those people - which by the way is not covered by the freedom of speech amendment.

http://debmcalister.com/2011/06/03/7-things-you-cant-claim-first-amendment-rights-to-say/

Come on, people. Let's wake up.

It's time everyone calms down and relax. People are entitled to their opinions, especially people that make a living poking fun at other people.

I really wish everyone would stop apologizing.

Irish time

A couple of times this winter I had the pleasure of having my husband home with me due to snow storms. His boss just told him to work from home that day.
Stay home on a snow day? If you're not a teacher that is kind of a big deal. The show must go on - with or without snow. The market can't stop.

It can't?

Really?
Why? Why can't we take it easy on a stormy day and stay home and take care of our driveways and not risk getting into an accident on the highway? Why can't we take it easy and close down on that day?
Oh, yes. That's right. It's because we will not make as much money.

Last year, when we were in Ireland we are majorly disturbed by the stores closing time. By five, six in the evening they were closing up for the day. On Sundays we saw almost nothing open.
True we were not on majorly touristy areas,  but we did go to a beach site, with souvenir stores and every thing.  It was a town called NewCastle. We were there on the day Price George was born. It was 5 pm and the sun shone bright in the sky.

and look at the stores:

No we didn't take that picture. That one is from google maps. Which is funny, because we took one that looks exactly like it. It took it at 5:30 in the afternoon, on a midsummer's day.

Yeah, wow. Those people sure don't care about making money. No wonder Ireland is so far behind America.

However - Really? Is making money really that much more important?

Those employers and employees are now free to go live their lives. They can go home to their families, spend time with their lovers, go watch the sunset at the beach, or even go do some studying  catch up on homework - instead of doing it at 2 am.

Do we really have to be the most succesful country on earth at the cost of spending extra hours with those we love?

One of the top 10 regrets of people at the end of their lives is "have worked to much". Do I want to wake up in my death bed someday and realize I spent most of my time going after something that didn't really matter? Something that didn't give me pleasure?

We only have one life to live. And so do the people we love. We control so many things, that we think we can control time. We will always have "later" and "some other day". No we won't. We don't know if we will wake up tomorrow. We don't know if we will ever see that special person again. We don't.

"We spend all of our lives dreaming, to wake up only at the end. And the truth was so different, and now there is no more time." (Racionais MCs)

After we lose

They say we only realize how happy we were when we aren't anymore.
But does it have to be like this? Actually, no, it doesn't. We can live each day as if it were the happiest. We can think of every moment as the best one we've had. And we can view each opportunity to do something fun as maybe the last one we have to be happy.I guess the secret is to have those you love near you, and to love them back.
I guess even when we are hurting we can still do that.
My husband just recently lost his grandfather. It was a hard time for the whole family, and I would certainly not suggest that we go around laughing and singing. But they all came together to mourn, console and remember good times. Yes, it was a time to cry, because it was the end of a era - a happy one, and maybe didn't even know it. But each of them could find comfort in the fact that they had each other.
So, yes, I guess that was the end of a happy time, but a new one will start the next day. Life goes on, and opportunities to be happy will come around everyday, every moment. As long as we have those we love by our side, we can always be happier than what we were yesterday. I guess all we have to do is remember that today can be the happiest day of the rest of our lives - as long as we have those we love near us.

- DIVORCE by Arnaldo Jabor

 - My friends who are divorced never cease to ask me how I managed to stay married 30 years to the same woman. Ever more evil,  women do not ask my wife how she manages to stay married to the same man, but how she manages to stay married to me. The ones asking the right questions are the youth. They want to know the secret to keeping a marriage for so long. Nobody teaches it in schools. I'm no expert in the field, as everyone knows, but that said, my answer is more or less the following:

Nowadays divorce is inevitable, you can not escape it. Nobody can stand living with the same person for the rest of one's life. I'm actually already on my third marriage - the only difference is that I am married three times to the same woman. My wife, if I'm not mistaken is in her fifth because she thought about picking up her bags more often than I have. The secret of marriage is not eternal harmony. After the inevitable turmoils, the solution is to ponder, calm down and start again with the same woman. The secret is to renew your marriage, and not seek new marriage.  


This requires some considerations that are forgotten in the day-to-day life as a couple. From time to time, it is necessary to renew the relationship. From time to time it is necessary to start dating again, go back to courting, seduce and be seduced. How long has it been you haven't gone dancing? How long haven't you tried to conquer your pair as a potential suitor? How long has it been you haven't gone on a honeymoon - a honeymoon without children eternally struggling to get your unrestricted attention? Not to mention the countless pounds which have been added to you after the wedding. Wife and husband lose 20lb in one month after being separated, why you can not achieve the same while together? Pretend this is your new affair. If it were a new marriage, you certainly would attend new and unknown places, move homes, renew your wardrobe, CDs, haircut, makeup. But all this can be done without you separating from your spouse. 


 Let's be honest: no one can stand the same woman and the same husband for thirty years with the same clothes, the same lipstick, the same friends, with the same jokes. Often it is not your wife who is getting boring and musty, it is you and your furniture with the same faded decor. If you divorce, you'd certainly change it all , which is just one of the pleasures of separation. Those who separate delight themselves with a new life, a new house, a new neighborhood, a new circle of friends.  

You don't need an ugly divorce to have it all. Just switch places and interests and do not get comfortable. This is obviously expensive and many marriages fall apart because the couple refuses to pay these small costs required to renewing a marriage. But if you separate, your new spouse will want young children, new furniture, new clothes and you still have the child support from a previous marriage.  

There is no such thing as "stable marriage" nor should it be desired. The world changes, and so do you, your husband, your wife, your neighborhood and your friends. The best strategy to save a marriage is not maintaining a "stable relationship", but knowing how to change along. Every spouse needs to evolve, learn, improve themselves, get involved in things that one would have never thought of doing in the beginning of marriage. You do it constantly at work, why not do it in one's own family? It's what your kids do since they came into the world. So discover the young woman or young man who lives by your side, instead of going around trying to find an interesting new match. I'm sure your children will have respect for your decision to stay together and learn the important lesson of how to grow and evolve together despite disagreements. Quarrels and turmoils will always occur: so occasionally you need to get married again, but try to do it always with the same match. You see, THERE IS NO MAGIC - THERE IS COMMITMENT , COMMITMENT AND WORK - this is what saves marriages and families." Source : Arnaldo Jabor Quotes .

Politics is not something to be discussed

They convinced the sucker that politics is not to be discussed. And so the corrupts and crooks have taken over the government and stolen all his money, have made ​​absurd laws and ignored just laws, and left the sucker without a penny, in a country where no one wants to be a politician, because politician is synonymous with crook. 

Sucker indeed. Human beings are political beings for as long as they have resolved to live in society. The fate of the human being who does not discuss or is interested in politics is to be controlled by those who are interested. 

Politics should be discussed. Politics is to be lived. For politics you'll even die in the pursuit of a just society . If you do not discuss politics, you might even have a peaceful life without wants. But the kind of a peace of a slave, a peace without freedom or honor. Is it worth it? Ask a slave. Read some of the books written by those slaves who had the blessing to taste the uncertainties of freedom (cf. Frederick Douglass, Harriet Ann Jacobs). Is it worth placing your future and that of your children in the hands of another - another who might give you everything or might give you nothing, but who will always give you only what he wants?  Is it worth it so that you don't have to bother discussing how to build and maintain a just and free society?  

Politics is indeed to be discussed. It is a pain, it is boring, it is complicated, it is hard not to yell at those who think differently than you. It is all of that, but it is worth it. When you learn to debate, to respect the other's opinion, even if he doesn't change his opinion, it makes it easier. When you learn that people won't always take your side, but that you can still be friends after that, it makes it even easier. But even if you lose your friend - what do you prefer? Live as two friends in lies and slavery, or live both of you with that friendship, but free to determine your own future?

And I'd even say that political parties are important. I am not talking about partisanship, where parties become independent institutions determining the thoughts of its members. No. I am talking about parties that arise from differing views on a same specific subject, but who are willing to take on a legitimate discussion in the public arena - and may the best argument win. Parties should always exist because humans are different and think differently, and always will. But since subjects change, so should parties. Parties should not remain the same, but change as society's issues change. All sides should engage in honest discussion. 

It was thanks to politics that we have abolished slavery. Thanks to politics the countries of America proclaimed their independence. And thanks to politics much harm was done to our world - war, genocide, abusive taxes and redistribution of wealth. Evil was done when those who were against the evil fell silent under the excuse that politics is not discussed.

 Sorry if u are part of the group of suckers. Please do not forget - when you are persuaded that politics is not to be discussed, or that politics is for crooks, you are flouting centuries of evolution of human thought. Include in your contempt philosophers and great thinkers of ancient Greece, the Enlightenment, the great revolutions for self-government. You're throwing out the window all that our ancestors built so carefully . ... In hindsight , you really are a sucker. Do not be a sucker. For the love that you have for the wisdom that God gave mankind, do not be a sucker. Put your mind to do something worhy - make your life worth living in this brief passage of yours through human history .

Homosexuality indeed. Why not?

I ask you, who call yourself a Christian, and is sitting there appalled with homosexuality being regarded as something praiseworthy - why not ?
Remember how many times you have been to the movies and hoped the good guy and the girl got together, even though she was married to another, or even though they both had built their relationship on illicit sex (fornication). Remember how many times u talked to your friends, those who had sex with their boyfriends/girlfriends, as if it were absolutely normal, and you wanted them to stay together without ever suggesting that they should be married to do what they were doing every night.
We've spent too much time dealing with sinful sexuality as if it were normal. You've accepted the mundane version of sexuality that is all based on feelings and that what matters is love.


That actually is not love - it's lust. But our society has decided to call lust for love, then you accept it as valid. Yes, all is worth it in the name of love. "May it not be immortal, since it is but a flame, may it be infinite while it lasts," says the poet. How beautiful, you say. What matters is love.
My friend (or brother, if you prefer), for a long time our society has treated sexuality as a toy, subject to sinful treats of the human beings. From sex outside marriage to homosexual practice it is but a leap - okay that is a complicated leap because it involves prejudice, but it is an obvious leap from the viewpoint of logic. And as we live in a post- Christian society, homosexuality wants to be legitimized through marriage. The homosexuality wants to be part of a society that values the ​​religious version of family. But this is not because the homosexual wants out of fornication and wants holy form of sex. It is just that our post- Christian society has become accustomed to values ​​and institutions like marriage. It's just that. There is nothing sacred or Christian in a homosexual marriage. As there is nothing Christian or sacred in a marriage between fornicators or adulterers.
When you friend got married pregnant and you thought she looked gorgeous with that belly showing, the problem was as serious as it is now. Once u open the door and kick morality out, anything goes. Homosexuality yes . Why not? And if that is not what you want, u will have to say no to a lot that you have been saying yes to for a long time.
Each of us - appalled at the current state of our "Christian" society - has a bit of guilt if we have held this behavior .
Sin is not - never was - something we exalt as beautiful. Sin is ugly. Be homosexuality, fornication or adultery. When we sin we should feel shame and repent, and fall prostrate at the feet of the Lord, instead of hitting our chest with pride to say that we did everything in the name of love. Every time we did that, or applauded whoever did it, we opened the door to what we have today. Homosexuality yes . Why not? God have mercy on us.

Charlotte's Web - The movie

I like watching movies - I do.  But will I will never finish watching the movie version of Charlotte's Web. I really like Dakota Fanning. She is a cute little girl and talented child actress. I think the story is entertaining - not beautiful, but entertaining. I have seen the animated version of the story and liked it very much. And lastly, I do like to add more movies to my list. Even when I don't care about the story, I just let it play while I do something else to make sure I can say I have seen the movie.
I don't care much about the story of Charlotte's Web. I don't care for movies about talking animals, I don't like spiders, and I think the story gets hypocritical when it tries to protect a pig from getting to my table, but gives a spider the right to eat poor little flies! She says that's the way it is and she will keep doing it shamelessly!!!! Let's turn the spider into a vegetarian too, if we are trying to be fair. But I could put up with all this crap, she it was all in a cartoon format.
So, despite all of my reservations about the story and the fact that I really don't care for talking animals, I was willing to give this movie a shot and let it play in the back of my screen, just as I did to 101 Dalmatians, and other movies that have talking or super intelligent animals.
Why then have I not been able to finish watching Charlotte's Web? Well, you see, when Charlotte started coming down on the screen and I realized that the hero of the story was not just a cartoon spider, but a real life looking spider, I wanted to puke. Ihad to turn off the movie immediately  and forget all about it for my sanity's sake. It is one thing to see a disgusting spider turned into a cartoon, and I can take that. I can put up with the fact that she is a great spider who has a lot to teach a fearful talking pig. I can put up a cartoon talking pig as well, even though Babe made me sick to my stomach. But I can put up with a real life spider turned hero. Same reason why I couldn't bring myself to watch Shrek. He is a freaking ogre, people!!! Anyway, I did not and I will not watch Charlotte's Web the movie. No thank you. If you must torture me in the future, you already know which way to go. but I beg you, please, don't.

Movies

When I was little I had a notebook where I wrote down the names of every movie I watched.
I lost this notebook a long time ago. So Yesterday I decided to start up again. I am at movie number 836. I know I have seen many more. All those old Trinity , Jerry Lewis and Benji movies haven't been logged in yet. Little by little, I might be able to recover most movies i have seen in my lifetime. ... Why? For posterity, I guess. Or because my memory is crap and I hate making a fool out of myself trying to recover a movie name or guess whether or nt I have seen that movie.

New Year's Resolutions - broken

Legend has it that 25% of New Year's resolutions are broken within the first week of January. Well, I say, January is all but gone, and with January so are up so many hopeful resolutions. But do not despair, they'll be back again someday (along with Frosty the snow man).
And that's why I do not make myself go through the trouble of making New Year's resolutions. Making daily resolutions every night is too much work already, and I realize the next night, when I rest my head on my pillow, that I kept almost none of them. Some were broken in the same day, others two days later . ...
Eat less ,
Exercise more ,
Do not procrastinate ,
Practice guitar
Take better care of my skin ,
Take better care of my home and my husband (this homemaker business is something for professionals)
Read for 30 minutes each day ...
... and the list is growing .
So if daily resolutions already give me so much work, what the heck I'm going to complicate myself with new year resolutions for?
Life is too short to start over every year. That only gives you an average of 80-and-few new chances . I start over every day. This gives me 365 new chances per year. Every day is a new struggle - as the philosophy of Alcoholics Anonymous .
"Hi, my name is Virginia, I'm a compulsive eater, and I haven't eaten junk for 4 hours and 32 minutes."
"Hi, my name is Virginia, I'm careless about my skin, and I have used moisturizer regularly for two days."
... Day to day, how many of these phrases can I repeat without getting back to square one? Come on - today I have already ruined my healthy eating resolution. I was doing everything right until 2 pm , when I opened a packet of chips. Tomorrow I'll start again. Now I will study Japanese.

When we're little

Yesterday I saw a video of a little girl who sees her father's twin for the first time. The world is a funny place when we are little. Things that make perfect sense for older people or that everyone else understands as common place are completely different or uncommon to you.

Yesterday, as I looked through some James Bond movies - the Pierce Brosnan ones - I remembered how surprised I was to find out one day that Indiana Jones father (that nice old man) was once a 007 - the sexiest secret agent in the world.
"Seriously? Indy's dad?"

What about me wondering why people that went to the stadiums took their radios with them? Don't they know that the TV narrator will be there? No it never occurred to me that the TV narrator sat in his little TV network cabin and spoke on the microphone that went directly to our TVs, not to the stadiums broadcast system, which in most Brazilian stadiums is actually non-existent. Even if we did have a stadium broadcast system, who would narrate it? Globo TV? Bandeirantes? SBT? Or one of the radio stations? After all, each TV channel and each station had their own narrator. I guess, I hadn't realized that yet.

But one of my favorite kid thing is me trying to figure out what those lines were inside my eyes when I came home from the swimming pool. The Condominium Pool was on the ground floor and I had to go on the elevator to get to my condo on the 18th floor. So I went inside the elevator and looked at myself in the mirror all the way up - And wondered what those lines were inside my eyes... Not sure how long it took me to figure out they were the reflection of my wet eye lashes clumped together because of the water.With all the light inside the elevator, it was very easy for them to reflect right off my eye balls.

That's why little kids are so fun.

IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY PARENTS

WHAT I'VE LEARNED WITH THE LAST SEVEN O'CLOCK SOAP OPERA (Sangue Bom) - Love is love . No matter who we love. Some people are attracted to men , others by women, others to both. That does not matter, what matters is love.
IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY PARENTS to explain me that what they are talking about is not love - it's sex - and that attraction between people of the same sex is a sin, that sex with someone who is not our spouse ( out of wedlock ) is a sin , I would grow up THINKING THAT THIS IS NORMAL. In about 20 years our entire society would have this mentality , and no one would have thought that  it might be different .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.

WHAT I LEARNED WITH CURRENT 8 O'CLOCK SOAP OPERA (Amor a Vida) - Both men and women can go around picking up everyone. A woman who picks up everyone is not a bitch , she is as free as any man. I also learned that anyone can get AIDS, and that virginity in adult life is a problem to be solved .
IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY PARENTS to explain me that equal rights does not mean to go down to the level of the other, that right is right and wrong is wrong, and that when a certain group of people is wrong, the other group should not want to be equal in error; that AIDS is indeed restricted to certain groups - those who are sexually active, and usually have more than one partner - that being sexually active is not as common as breathing, eating candy and bike riding; that virginity is precious and that should not be given away till after the wedding - to your spouse - and not at the "right time", I would grow up THINKING THAT THIS IS NORMAL. In about 20 years our entire society would have this mentality , and no one would have thought that  it might be different .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.

Can you change what's on TV? If the population goes crazy and manifests its opinion; if the population writes, calls, complains and threatens to boycott ( and indeed boycott) - yes, the TV changes the show. The TV needs to please its audience, and will indeed adapt their programming to the will of the people .
But even if we can't prevent things from showing on TV, you have to take a stand about it, especially if u watch TV together with people whose minds are in formation. If u have children, younger siblings, nephews, grandchildren - do not let the shit that comes out of the screen go in their ears without processing, without a dialogue. Ideas need to be discussed, especially in training minds, so that right and wrong are not confused. Younger people always look at older people in search of a model , a map, a north. As much as we scold and say we don't care, younger people seek indeed the older people for models. Many of the things I do today are a mere imitation of what I grew up watching my mother, my grandmother and my aunt do or say. The way I take care of children is an imitation as well. Imitating elders is almost inherent in human beings .
What PARENTS TOLERATE, CHILDREN ACCEPT, GRANDCHILDREN EMBRACE.

New Year's resolution????

Some people are going around making a list of their new years resolution. I keep asking myself "Why bother?"

Example of typical new year's resolutions are -
to lose weight -
to got o the gym -

Well, I guess I could do that, but then I think about it and ... why bother? They can't be new year's resolutions to me. I make those resolutions every night, after realizing I failed miserably at last night's resolutions.

How to rate your products so that I can benefit from your review

During this end-of-year shopping season, I went through very frustrating shopping experiences.
It would help a lot if people knew how to write product reviews. It is very frustrating when we are shopping for a product and we find all these bad reviews, then you go look at them, and they simply make no sense.

If you don't know how to write a review, I think I can help. Follow these very simple tips:

1- DOA, or broken parts on arrival, or broke after very short usage time:
If you have a product that is DOA, or arrived with broken parts, or broke after a week's usage, don't write a bad review about it. Every company will have its bad eggs. And every so often things go wrong with shipping safety. Go back to the store and exchange for a new one or a refund. Most online companies will let you return products that arrived broken for no shipping cost.
Once you get the new product - the new working product - use it and review it.

2- Container too small:
Electronics - If you buy a kitchen product (or any product meant to hold stuff) that says something like capacity - 3 cups, it is FREAKING 3 CUPS! Don't expect to fit the meal for a family of 5 and be mad about it when it doesn't. Give us a break and don't give the product a 1 or 2 star rating just because you didn't know that 3 cups would not fit the contents of that 5 quart vegetable puree you are trying to prepare. Anyway, if you usually cook for that large a battalion, buy an industrial size product.
Car- unless the manufacturer claims their car is big enough for your growing teenagers sports gear, your baby's 2-suitcase-load of toys, had plenty of leg room, and head room, don't be upset when you, a 7-foot-tall basketball player, can't fit inside your new subcompact, and your 2 children and their dates, take up all your rear window. It is the nature of the beast. When you are that big or have that big a group, you go for at least a compact.

3- Too noisy:
Unless you bought a blender, food processor (especially the manual choppers), paper shredder, pencil sharpener, vacuum cleaner, cheap/old car that claims to be quiet, don't give it a bad rating for the noise. It is the freaking nature of those products to be noisy.
If you bought a noisy computer or a set of speakers that crackle, that is a whole other story.

4- The item doesn't meet my needs ... because I didn't properly read the specs:
First of all - read the damn specs before you buy a product. Does it not specify what you are looking for? Talk to a salesperson (in person or by email). Don't buy a product unless you know for sure it is meant to do what you need it to do.

5- You want to alert people of typically overlooked specs. Maybe, you want to alert people in your review that the product indeed has a specific feature, that might be easily overlooked. Still, does that product deserve a low rating because it didn't have the particular characteristics you were looking for?

WHEN IS IT OK TO GIVE A PRODUCT A BAD RATING?

1- If you had to go to great lengths to find out the specs - for instance, you might have had to email the seller simply to find out whether your product will work with a 220 voltage. That is something that should be readily available.

2- If the product is unusually hard to use (i.e. must bang on the light fixture once or twice in order for it to come on)

3- If the product is unusually hard to figure out (counter intuitive) (i.e. the volume settings is hidden somewhere in the email settings)

4- If the product doesn't work to full (prescribed) potential or doesn't at all do what it is supposed to do (i.e. says it will keep water hot for 30 minutes, but water is cold after 5 minutes; noisy when it says quiet).

5- If the product has an unusual characteristic that makes its use a hassle (i.e. tablet dies after an hour of usage; hold down the lid during the whole process or else it won't work)

6- If the product was DOA or with broke parts and the company did not allow you an exchange - that means they don't stand behind their product. Give it a bad rating and tell all your friends on Facebook not to buy from that company - ever.

7- If the product you got for an exchange doesn't work as well. That means one of two things - (1) you are an extremely unlucky person who gets the only two bad products that company ever made, (2) chances are most of their products have issues.

8- If the product worked well until the day after the warranty expired. That to me says the company is setting you up for a long an tortuous live time of calling the maintenance man ... Wait! Maintenance man? Gee, in which century am I living? There are no more maintenance men? You buy a new one - that is called planned obsolescence and they really just want you to keep buying their next new product as soon as it becomes available - for lack of a better choice. That company does not deserve your trust. Give them a bad rating and tell all your friends on Facebook to not buy from them - ever.

Welcome back to the dark ages

We are not living in a world of tolerance. We are living in a world where no one is free to speak their minds, because that might offend someone. A famous main character of a TV is punished with suspension because he expressed his disagreeing with homosexual practice! A comedian apologized on his Twitter for making fun of people's accents! Meanwhile in our schools a 6-year-old child is charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate's hand!
We have lived in a civilized world for too long. We are now going back to tribal living. No one is allowed to disagree from the popular opinion - if that happens, we will kick this person out of our tribe, leave him up to die. Welcome back to a world in which free speech does not exist, comedy is not accepted, and disagreeing views are punished with social execration.
Welcome back to the dark ages.

Bed time / Bad time?

Is it just me, or clocks go by way too fast in the evening?
I don't know about you, but making it to bed on time is the number one challenge of my week. What happens between 7 o'clock and 11 o'clock - where those four hours go in the blink of an eye - that is a mystery to me.
Last Friday was Friday the 13, I was planning a nice, cozy, scary night, in bed with my baby. I rented the scary movie a week ahead of time, so that nothing could go wrong.
Just that it did.
We didn't make it to bed till well past 10 pm, which is earlier than what we usually do, but too late if you're trying to watch a movie! And if you know anything about my movie watching abilities, you know that anything after 9 pm is, well, too late for me to stay awake for any significant period of time.
The movie was The Conjuring - the kind of movie that literally scares the soul out of you. Yeah, I was asleep within 45 minutes.
But why, you may ask, did you not make it to bed any sooner?
Well, really how much can you fit into one evening? A trip to Walmart, a little something to eat, getting some searches done in the computer, and getting ready to bed rituals seem to take so much longer than what they should take?
Last night I figured I wouldn't write my blog. I wanted to make it to bed in time to watch an episode of the OC. Really? When I looked at the clock it was already 10pm?
I have a feeling my clocks skip a few hours in their evening marks. 

And you're outraged because...?

So, this lady had a baby and,4 days later, she posted a picture of her sculptural body on instagram, causing almost universal outrage.

To me the real issues are far from what's been freaking out people around the globe. The real issues are - "Is it possible?" followed by "Is it real or photoshop? Or an old picture?"

Now let's go to the issues that are outraging people, and see how senseless and pointless they are:

Issue #1:
"OMG, that will negatively affect young girls, who are already struggling with body and food issues."
...  
:/
Ok.
So if I have a perfect body, I can't show it off, because this will affect people that already have issues with the belief that their body isn't perfect.
H'm ...
So, that turns out great for me. See, as a young girl my face was covered with acne, which forever scarred my skin. To this day I have issues with the way my face looks. I try covering it up with make up, and avoid having pictures taken at certain angles, but the scars are still there. I can't make them go away. I hate them. I hate them. I would love to have perfect skin. But that's impossible.
Does that mean that girls with perfect skin should be forced to cover up their faces with a burka so their heavenly perfect skin won't negatively affect me?
...
I didn't think so.
Also students who get straight A's shouldn't let anyone know about their grades, because that will negatively affect struggling students, right?
...
Yeah, I didn't think so either.
So, why should one have to hide her body because others feel bad about theirs?
(go ahead - shrug)

Issue #2:
"Oh, yeah? Here's a picture of my disgustingly huge tummy 2 months after giving birth! Check out the stretch marks! In your face, b***h!"
...
:/  again.
Ok.
so, if a lady shows off her beautiful body,  I should go ahead and show off my shamefully ugly body to somehow get back at her - as if to say, "Hey, look, I am a normal person, and you're just a freak."
It is almost as hysterical as if, after Superman posts a video of himself saving a little boy from falling in the Niagara Falls, some Joe Shmoke posts a video of himself almost drowning while trying to unclog the toilet, as if to say, "Hey, Superman. I am normal, and you're just a freak."
Or, it is almost as hysterical as if, after the Beatles post a video of themselves performing Yesterday (oh, sorry that was Paul McCartney), some Joe Shmoke posts a video of himself going out of key on Happy Birthday to You, as if to say, "Hey, McCartney. I am normal, and you're just a freak."

Uh, no, honey, you're doing this wrong. ... In the end, by posting a picture of your ugly tummy, what you're really telling young girls is, "See what happens when you have a baby? Don't stop taking that birth control pill!" Don't worry. I got your message. I'm not stopping.

Now, let's get down to what really matters, people.

Issue #1 - Is her picture real and current? Or is it old or photoshopped? if it is real and current, let her show it off. She deserves it. And it is her body, for crying out loud. If it is old or photoshopped, let her freaking show it. Wishful thinking never killed anyone. The problem will be (and I don't know if that is the case)  if she is using that fake picture to somehow promote a product or a lifestyle that is unrealistic. I can agree with anyone that criticizes her on these grounds.

Issue #2 - Is it possible? If it is, "Dang, lady! How do you do that? I can have a baby if you can teach me how to like that 4 days later." I mean, wow. Let me cancel that surrogate mother ad I posted this morning.

Here is a the news piece I read to write this post:
http://servaasschrama.com/2013/12/02/soccer-players-wife-sparks-outrage-in-norway-after-posting-a-sexy-selfie-three-days-after-giving-birth/

Soccer Player’s Wife Sparks Outrage In Norway After Posting A Sexy Selfie Three Days After Giving Birth

Caroline Berg Eriksen, a 26-year-old Norwegian fitness blogger, ignited a heated debate about body image after posting a selfie picture on Instagram three days after giving birth.

Berg Eriksen is married to Norwegian Premier League player Lars-Kristian Eriksen. They had a baby daughter on November 25th.

Three days later, she posted this picture on Instagram with the caption, “I feel so empty and not 4 days after birth.”

The backlash was swift.

Norwegian writer Suzanne Aabel responded with a takedown of the picture for the publication Dagbladet, with the headline, “I feel fat because Soccer Lady has given birth.”

Aabel’s argument is that the picture sets unrealistic expectations for the young women who read Berg Eriksen’s popular “Soccer Lady” website.

She wrote:

“I think it is dangerous. I work with 16 year old girls. They struggle with body and food at some level all together. And they look up to famous people, as adults we almost forgot that we did as teenagers.”

(…)

“Over 70 percent of young women are struggling with low self-esteem and body contempt because only people who look like that here like posting pictures of themselves half naked four days after birth.”

Norwegian politician Gry Larsen spoke out as well, posting a picture of her own stomach on her Facebook with the caption, “Two months after birth #NormalLady.”

She wrote a column for Norway’s largest newspaper, Aftenposten, explaining that she wanted to bring “balance” the way the girls should view the post-baby body.

Real life terrors

Last week one of the topics discussed by one of my college groups was horror movies and why we watched them ( or not ) .
I never remember how to begin our discussions , but they always end up being fun.
One of my students said her daughter loves to watch horror movies, but then has nightmares .
I like horror movies too. But I rarely have nightmares. What happens to me is a little different . The movies stay in my head and whenever a similar situation happens I get paranoid. It's not fear. Like, who's afraid of the dark? Of course I'm not afraid of the dark . But after spending an hour and a half seeing ghosts appear out of nowhere in the dark , a trip to the washing machine (which is in the basement ) after sunset, is a little freaky. And when I have to leave home to teach at the college! I go out the back door and have to walk along the side of the house in the dark until I get to my car, which is parked in front of house. "It's just a movie, Vikinha, it's just a movie, " I keep saying to myself.
Now that I have a normal teaching job and I can come home at 3 in the afternoon, I spend my afternoon planning classes with Netflix on horror movies. I need the background noise so I can work, but the side effect is an overdose of terrifying images that are impregnated in my head. A day doesn't go by in which I don't have a fright .
Lately I've seen some movies of people get stuck in elevators. In my building , in Brazil , we had an elevator . The elevator was stuck frequently, and I have stayed stuck several times, but nobody ever got stuck for hours . Pretty soon someone from maintenance came to get us out. But I always heard stories of children who died with the severed head or cut in half, because they tried to leave on their own.
The truth is that in many elevators around the world people get stuck for hours or days. The stories I've seen in movies have much of these elevator terrors, but with the aggravating factor that someone always has a terrible secret. I'll never get into an elevator with a peace of mind again.

And although I always remember that everything is just a movie , suddenly a terrible accident like what happened with Paul Walker yesterday reminds me that not everything is just a movie. Real life is really full of terrors. And we are all just too lucky to make it to the end of the day alive. We're just beating the odds, aren't we?
Creepy.